Why is it easy to be influenced by others?

if you are uncomfortable with anything that turns around, it is caused by your feelings, not the thing itself. Through the adjustment of feelings, you can cheer up at any time. —— Aurelius

Photo by Carlos Muza on UN splash

In the workplace, sometimes one's words, one's eyes or an impolite body language directly affect one's mood, so that one can't be calm for a long time and can't concentrate on work or reading.

Yesterday, a friend in the workplace asked Lao Wang for advice. Every time she saw her direct leader with impolite and scheming eyes, her mood immediately changed. If she didn't do her job well, she could accept criticism or scolding from the leader. But when your direct leader has impolite and scheming eyes, it shows that your leader is too scheming. In this case, the team atmosphere is generally depressed, and you can't improve your ability or achieve your performance at all.

don't forget, if a job can't improve your personal ability, it means that this job is not worth it to you; If a job can't achieve your performance, you can't prove your ability. When these two conditions are met at the same time, you may change jobs again, which may be really worthless, or your career may really hit an inflection point and start to decline.

photo by Sabri Tuzcu on unsplash

So, in the workplace, why is it that your mood is easily influenced by others? Lao Wang thinks:

1. Lack of independent personality, psychological fragility, blx, inferiority complex, and lack of self-confidence. According to Lao Wang's observation of the workplace and his understanding of people in the workplace, Lao Wang believes that people who are easily influenced by others generally have a lack of independent personality, psychological fragility, blx, inferiority, and self-confidence, especially psychological fragility and blx, which are common phenomena of most people in the workplace.

Otherwise, why do so many people in the workplace jump off their buildings because of workplace pressure or unemployment? Is because of their own psychological vulnerability and blx. Just like a company in Beijing announced layoffs, three people jumped off the building that day.

if you were mentally strong, you wouldn't have this kind of jumping off a building. In this case, how to change it?

Lao Wang Jianyi suggested: Read Yangming's Mind to make yourself stronger. Only when you are strong inside, others will be timid and afraid of you.

2. I don't have my own opinions, and I care about others' recognition of you. People who have opinions and thoughts cannot be influenced by others. If they are influenced by others, it is because of their beliefs. People who have no opinions are most likely to be influenced by others. The reason is that such people who have no opinions are soft-hearted and easy to change themselves. Why change yourself? Because he cares too much about the evaluation and recognition of others.

someone chats with Lao Wang through an endorsement made by a friend of Lao Wang, saying that he wants to be from the media. Lao Wang said that if you want to be from the media, you can, but you must be very strong inside, because no matter how good your point of view and beautiful your words are, you will be rejected or abused by ignorant people.

There are two reasons for others' abuse: one is that your level is very low, you can't write real content and insightful views, and it wastes the time for others to click on your article; The other is because you are at a high level, but you are not grounded, and others are not at the same level as you, so you can't understand what you want to express; Only when your article has unique viewpoints, concise language and grounded gas can you not be attacked by others.

If you want to be a new media and a celebrity, you have to endure being slandered by people with low tastes. If you can't bear this, don't be a new media. This friend listened to Lao Wang's suggestion and gave up the idea of being a new media directly. This is a typical person who has no opinion.

how to change these? Lao Wang Jianyi: Systematically and systematically learn knowledge, change yourself with knowledge, and make yourself an independent person. The root of not having a definite view is that you don't have systematic and systematic knowledge, and you can't use your systematic and systematic knowledge or theory to prove yourself. Many times, I want to prove myself. In the absence of evidence, I will not analyze things, have no opinions, listen to them and be at the mercy of others.

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3. People with low emotional intelligence often talk about your pain points, which is caused by your inability to resist. Lao Wang has always believed that when dealing with people with high emotional intelligence, he will at least not sprinkle salt on your wounds, but often encourage you to make progress. Only people with low emotional intelligence will often poke your wounds. He will watch your pain and your jokes from the side.

why is this happening? Lao Wang believes that this is decided by your circle. If you want to change, you should strive to improve and change yourself, so that you can jump out of the circle you hate at any time. Real masters never reveal their shortcomings when dealing with each other. It is "hitting people without hitting their faces, swearing without exposing shortcomings." If you want to change and jump out of the circle you hate at any time, you need to constantly improve and change yourself. Only when you get sharp change can you really jump out of your circle. Otherwise, even if you try to jump out of your circle, another circle may not accept you. The reason why I can't accept you is because you haven't really transformed yourself and made yourself accepted by others.

you might say that the circle layer has solidified now. Lao Wang thinks that you have set a limit for yourself. Only by your own negation, you will neglect to pay, then you will never jump out of your circle.

Lao Wang believes that the circle has never solidified, but only your thinking and your mentality of making excuses for not working hard. If you want to jump out of your circle, you should constantly change, get rid of your bad habits, and raise or surpass your thinking, realm and mentality to the level you want to integrate into the circle.