Humorous vegetable jokes

There are many paragraphs circulating on WeChat every day. I don't know if you like it. The following are humorous vegetable jokes I compiled, hoping to help everyone.

Humorous vegetable jokes 1 1. Luffa met cucumber in the vegetable market and inexplicably asked: Elder sister, others don't wear flowers, and you have bright little yellow flowers on your head every day. What do you mean? Too corny.

Cucumber said: If you want to be red, you can't play with flowers. You got it? I tell you, I call it fresh visibility.

2. Bitter gourd meets eggplant and asks in surprise: Your skin is really good. How to maintain it?

Eggplant proudly said: I use the pure natural beauty method and don't need any cosmetics. Facts have proved that it saves money and effort, looks good, and is waterproof and sweat-proof.

3. Snake bean met a snake, and the snake said angrily: You actually imitated me and went public. I want to complain that you violated my portrait right.

"You are so ungrateful," said Snake Bean. I have nothing to envy when I go public. " I died for you.

4. On the dining table, bamboo chopsticks meet bamboo shoots. Chopsticks sigh: As an old friend, I really envy you. You are still so young and beautiful.

Bamboo shoots asked inexplicably: old friend? You mean you know me?

Chopsticks said: Yes, you and I are a family. When I was young, I was as favored as you. Now when I am old, I become chopsticks.

5. Broccoli met cauliflower and sighed: Brother, I haven't seen you for several years, and my hair is all white.

Cauliflower said solemnly, I'm not worried about you. You are cuckolded every day and are not afraid of jokes. I am almost ashamed of you.

Humorous vegetable joke 2 1, Q: What is Faye Wong's favorite fruit?

A: Durian (sometimes, sometimes, I would rather choose' nostalgia' than let go)

2. What kind of fruit has the worst eyesight? Mango.

3. What fruit has the highest temperature? The answer is pear, because ions are hot.

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit. She announced: "children, after picking the fruit, we can wash it together, and we can eat it together after washing." All the children went to pick fruit. As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?" Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them." "Teacher:" What about you, Xiaomei? "Xiaomei:" I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes. "Teacher:" The children are great! Where is Amin? "Amin:" I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped in shit. "

5. Tomato A: What's your name, brother?

Tomato b: ...

Tomato A: Brother, what's your name?

Tomato b: ...

Tomato A: Brother ...

Tomato B (looking strangely): We are tomatoes. How can we talk? ...

6. A banana is walking on the road. It was so hot that it peeled off and suddenly slipped. ...

7. Once upon a time, there was a chubby grapefruit who thought he was going to lose weight. A month later, he succeeded in becoming a chubby orange.

8. Once upon a time, there was a carambola. He keeps a lot of sheep. One day, a hole was broken in the sheepfold, and a sheep took the opportunity to escape. Everyone told him to mend the hole quickly, but he said that the sheep ran away and didn't mend anything. A few days later, carambola found herself a waxberry.

9. Heibulin said, I am so sour.

Yangmei said, I am more sour.

Macy said, can you two be as sour as me? I'm too sour to eat.

Bananas are unhappy. Why am I so sweet or so bad?

10. There are four mangoes in the bag. Two people are discussing how to divide it.

One said, I'll eat three. What about you?

The other said, I have two more than you, so five.

The other continued, well, let's eat eight today.

Humorous vegetable jokes 3 1. Going to buy vegetables, in front of a food stall, a young man asked the boss, is this melon sweet? The boss gave him a look and said nothing. The boss takes care of others. The young man thought the boss didn't hear him, and his voice became louder. He asked the boss, is this melon sweet? The boss said contemptuously to the young man, young man, haven't you seen what bitter gourd looks like?

2. When I was a freshman, I went to the canteen to eat at noon. At that time, I didn't know which absent-minded classmate suddenly stretched his legs and tripped me. Then I stumbled all the way and finally knelt down less than one meter from the window. At this time, the master who cooked in the canteen looked at me doubtfully, and then said to others in distress, "Look, this young man is too hungry to stand up. Let him cook first. " I just want to say: where is the ground fissure?

At night, I lie on the sofa and rest with cucumber slices. My dad was watching TV, and I said, Dad, can you not watch this war? None of us can see anything else. My dad gave me a look and said, you have cucumber slices in your eyes. Can you still see them? I said: I have an eye, and I can see it without pasting it. Then my father sighed and went to the kitchen to get another cucumber and put my other eye on it. Dad, this is definitely dad.

I bought a pair of shoes online that day. Seeing a good pair, I sent a picture to my husband for advice. A few minutes later, my husband replied: "This woman's facial features are ok, and her figure can be said to be good, but there are too many deliberate traces ..." I was furious: "I showed you shoes!" Passed a few minutes, the husband replies: "She wore shoes, so did I!" !

My brother is from the countryside. It used to cost only one yuan to go home from the city by bus. Once I spent only one yuan, ready to take the bus and get on the air-conditioned car! How much is the master's degree? Answer: two yuan, didn't you see it was an air-conditioned car? My brother was also confused at that time and replied, I'm not cold. Turn it off.

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