Collection of cannibal jokes

1. Two cannibals applied for a job at IBM. The company’s HR director knew that these two cannibals cannibalized people every day, so he warned them: "If you dare to eat someone in the company, you will be punished." I'll be fired immediately!" The two cannibals agreed solemnly, saying they would never eat people in the company. Two months have passed and the company is safe and sound. Suddenly one day, the company discovered that the cleaner responsible for cleaning the company was missing. So the HR manager was very angry and called two cannibals to reprimand them and fired them on the spot. After leaving the company gate, one cannibal immediately complained to the other: "I keep warning you not to eat people who are working, but you just don't listen! We have been eating a manager every day for two months, and no one has noticed. Look now They found out immediately after eating the cleaner! "You are such a pig!" 2. Three explorers from the United States, Japan and China were caught by cannibals during their expedition in Africa. The cannibal chief decided not to Eat them, but you must fine each of them 100 big boards and allow them to each make a wish. The first was the American: "Please put 6 cushions on my ***." The chief agreed to the American's request. However, the seat cushion was relatively thin, and by the time the 70th board was hit, the seat cushion was already in tatters. The American muttered in a daze: "No matter what, our nation is the most creative..." and then passed out. . When it was the Japanese's turn, he witnessed the miserable situation of the Americans, so he requested: "Please put 6 mattresses on my bed." The chief agreed to the Japanese request. After the Japanese were beaten 100 times, they stood up with a smile and said: "Our nation is the nation with the strongest ability to imitate!" It was the Chinese's turn. The Chinese asked with a smile: "Please put that Japanese devil in front of me." *** on! "3. African virgin forest, traveler and local tour guide... Traveler: Is it safe here? Could there be cannibals? Tour guide: Don’t worry, it’s safe here. There are no cannibals in Africa. Traveler: But what if there are a few cannibals left? Tour guide: This is impossible, the last cannibal was eaten by us last Monday. 4. The world in the eyes of cannibals Apartment: food shelves Hospital: bad food exchange center Train: sausages Pregnant women: meat buns 5. Fruit Three men were captured by cannibals, and they begged the cannibals to let them go. The cannibal leader said: "If you can find some fruits, I will consider letting you go." So the three people went to look for fruits separately. The first man came back with some grapes in his hand. It turned out that the cannibal leader just wanted to tease them. He ordered the tribesmen to stuff grapes into the man's vagina. The man suffered terribly. The second man brought back oranges. Of course, he could not escape his bad luck. When the two men, who were sweating profusely and in pain, saw the third man rushing back, they couldn't help laughing. It turned out that the third man was holding two huge coconuts. 6. Male soup and female soup. The cannibals traveled abroad and came to a restaurant. When they opened the menu, they were very surprised. It turns out that there are two dishes named men's soup and women's soup in the menu. The cannibals thought to themselves: Are there also cannibals here? So the cannibal asked the waiter in the restaurant what the male soup and female soup were. The waiter said: "The men's soup is 'ball soup', and the women's soup is 'scallop soup.'" 7. The power of the Bible An atheist came to an undeveloped island in order to find evidence of evolution. To his surprise, he found that the local indigenous people were reading the Bible. "There is no God in the world. God does not exist. Do you understand? I am here to prove this." "Oh? Really? But without the restraint of God, you would have entered my belly long ago." 8 , Cannibal Recipes When Chu Fengtou was traveling in Africa, he accidentally broke into the territory of the cannibals and was captured by the cannibals.

The head chef of the cannibal tribe put the tied-up Chu Fengtou in front of the oil pan and asked: "What is your name?" Chu Fengtou asked back: "I am already dying, what is the use of knowing my name? !" The chef was furious: "How dare you speak so hard! I don't know your name, how can I write a recipe?" 9. Braised Hunter: 15 Yuan Fried Lady: 25 Yuan Sheng Mixed Politician: 1,000 Yuan Someone asked, why is "raw mixed politician" so expensive? The answer is: 1. Politicians are too cunning and the hardest to catch. 2. Politicians have the tenderest meat. 3. The flesh of politicians is so dirty that it is most difficult to wash it. 10. The British, Americans and Japanese were on the same flight; it accidentally crashed and landed in Africa (an area where cannibals are said to be sometimes infested). Unfortunately, the three of them were picked up for dinner before they could escape. While they were watching the cannibals doing the Hugaga dance with gloomy expressions, they saw the chief coming to inspect the three fat dinners... The three of them had a glimmer of hope and tried to communicate with the chief. (Of course? It’s not using Kuaiduo!) They expressed in body language that they asked the chief to let go of his life...?...; the indigenous chief agreed, but he came up with a test question to embarrass them (of course he wouldn’t This is the question of this joint examination! )? His question is: three people are asked to take out the words and measure them. If the total adds up to exactly 19cm... let it go! At this time, the British volunteered to take the lead, wow! It’s 7 centimeters! Next comes the Americans? 10 centimeters. Finally, the Japanese have two centimeters (ha!) Please do the math: 7+12=19, right? ! True to his word, the chief let them go. The three of them ran and crawled out of the cannibal village, fleeing for their lives! ! Walk! Walk! The Japanese let out a big sigh and said: Phew! Good luck. When I was measuring the length just now, I suddenly became excited for some reason! otherwise. 11. When the cannibals walked into the Japanese mixed-sex bathhouse, they happily said: "Okay, rice is nutritious and delicious!" 12. A woman was chased by the cannibals and ran into a dead end. Frightened, the woman wet her pants. The cannibals saw this and cursed: "What a pity! The soup has been spilled!" 13. After a cannibal woman gives birth to a child, she must first give the child to her husband and politely say: "Eat it while it's hot." ! "14. The rich man who bless the cannibals took his son to travel abroad. On the plane, his son asked his father: "Why are there so many people on the plane?" The father replied: "God always bless us." Son: That plane also. Can it be eaten? Father: An airplane is like a lobster. You have to peel off the skin and eat the meat inside. 15. A bumper harvest. When the French World Cup football was in full swing, the cannibals came to the football stadium and saw the overcrowded scene. They couldn't help shouting: "It's a bumper harvest this year!" 16. An explorer went to the Amazon Basin to explore and was accidentally killed by the cannibals. Caught. The explorer suddenly discovered that the chief not only spoke English, but also graduated from Cambridge University. He breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he had finally escaped. He asked the chief: "I believe the education of your tribe must have improved a lot..." The chief replied: "Of course, we cannibals have begun to use knives and forks." 17. A cannibal chief and his son went outside In search of food, they hide in thick grass and wait for prey to arrive.

Not long after, a thin boy passed by. The patriarch's son asked his father, "Dad, how do you like this?" The patriarch replied, "No, this kid is too thin and tastes tasteless!"? Not long after, a fat man passed by. The patriarch's son Asked his father: "Dad, what about this fat man?" The patriarch replied: "No, this is too fat. Eating this will raise cholesterol!" Not long after, a graceful beauty passed by. The patriarch's son asked his father: "Dad, this beautiful woman So what?" The patriarch replied, "Wow! Great, let's take this beauty home!" The patriarch's son asked his father, "Do we have food?" The patriarch replied, "Yes, let's cook your mother." Eat!" 18. An explorer traveled to Africa alone and accidentally encountered cannibals in the wild. The explorer was surrounded by cannibals. In desperation, he shouted to the sky: "Oh God, help me! Come on, I'm going to die if this continues!" At this time, a voice came from the sky: "Don't worry, don't worry! You may not be dead yet, hurry up and throw a stone at the chief!" The explorer followed God's instructions. A big stone was thrown at the chief, and the chief was killed. The other cannibals were stunned for a while, and then started to glare at the explorer! Another voice came from the sky: "Now, you are really dead!"