Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What should I do if my friend gets married? The tougher the better ~

What should I do if my friend gets married? The tougher the better ~

The bridal chamber is not only happy for the family, but also for the relatives and friends who make trouble in the bridal chamber. They are also willing to take the opportunity to make a scene and use all kinds of new tricks to make the bride and groom "sleepy and worried" in distress and distress. The latest trick is to make trouble in the bridal chamber. The first trick: On Kibo's wedding day, the bride was dressed in thin clothes, and the guests could try their best to make the newlyweds punch each other. If they lose a punch, they will lose their clothes or jewelry until ... The second measure: high-heeled glasses encourage the bride to let the groom try to let him use high heels and drink three cups in a row to show his love for her. The third measure: The Round Table Warrior lets the bride and groom sit on a table with stools and drink concentric wine. Recommended reading: Play "Wedding Candlelight Night" Wedding Candlelight Night Couples Go to the Ice Bed. The fourth measure: the apple of love wants the bride to peel the apple for the groom to eat, but the apple skin is not allowed to be peeled. If it is broken, the bride will be punished for kissing the groom for ten minutes. The fifth trick: I want you to look good and let the groom guess what color the underwear of the bride's wedding night is. Right, the bride presents a treasure, as long as she shows a little, it means she is right. Guess wrong. I want the groom to run around the bridal chamber three times in his underwear. The sixth trick: the passionate ice cube asks the groom to pick up the bride first. Then, two or three friends will pour the prepared ice cubes into the groom's arms, and then everyone will hug the new couple together, so that the new groom can get enough cold and jump up and down to avoid being too enthusiastic when consummating the house. The seventh trick: ambush on all sides, try to sneak into the bridal chamber in advance, hide in an imperceptible corner or wardrobe, then turn the alarm whistle recorded in advance to the maximum, and let it out at the right time to surprise the couple, while the hidden piles hiding everywhere make trouble in the bridal chamber for a while, and then wish the couple an "early birth". The eighth trick: Love Balloons Put some balloons under the sheets so that the bride and groom can lie down together to show their loyalty and go to disaster together. The ninth trick: the chocolate cheongsam is put into the bride's cheongsam by the female VIP. "Of course the bride is sitting", and then ask the groom to take all the pieces away, and no one is allowed. Otherwise, the groom needs to retrieve them one by one with his mouth. Recommended reading: The Legend of the Yellow Emperor in The Mystery Journey: Candles in Wedding Rooms and Bridal Rooms. The tenth trick: Su Xiang Ke Qiao, a female friend, squeezes a heart-shaped sweet liquid on the bride's chest with chocolate juice, and then lets the groom lick it in public to show mutual affinity. Eleventh measure: lock the bridal chamber. Lock the cave door in advance, hide the key somewhere or on a good friend, and then let the groom find it. Every time he can't find it, the bride wants her guests to kiss him once until he finds it. Twelfth trick: the wrong love crystal deliberately put the borrowed baby on the bed, causing a short misunderstanding. Thirteenth trick: Old love lets the couple repeat the most authentic original scene when they propose marriage in public. Fourteenth trick: warn the runaway wife to hide the bride somewhere, and then the groom will look for it again until he finds it before being sent to the bridal chamber. Fifteenth measure: the old love is not over, and the new love should tell the number, appearance and history of the past male and female friends respectively, otherwise they are not allowed to share the same bed. Sixteenth trick: Birthdays (Birthdays) Let the groom guess the correct date of birth of the bride in the lunar calendar, and if it is wrong, make a horse for the bride to ride. The seventeenth trick: speechless, buy "Seeing Jokes" published by Horn Press, and test new people with innovative riddles. If you can't answer, each male guest will kiss the bride for one minute. The eighteenth trick: compare the game of "gestures" to test the tacit understanding between the two sides. The more embarrassing the question, the better. Like are you still virgins? Her measurements? Do you love me? I wear red today and go to bed at 20 o'clock? Today is beautiful (no condoms) and so on. The nineteenth trick: the mole of love. It is said that the bride has a mole three centimeters above her navel. I wonder if it's true. Can you ask the groom to unveil the mystery for the bride? Recommended reading: crying into the bridal chamber at the wedding is equal to entering the silk hole? The twentieth trick: yesterday, the new couple was asked to repeat the dating scene in front of everyone, including affectionate, cuddling, holding hands and other actions until the guests were satisfied. Twenty-first trick: the seven-step poem is titled from head to toe and various organs of the body. The two take turns to write poems or words, such as chest: have a well-thought-out plan; The examiner is a guest. If the guest is not satisfied with the answer, you can ask the other person to kiss the part! The 22nd trick: Peppers flying in advance are mixed with fireworks. When the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber, the gunfire is released violently, and the consequences will be cleaned up. Measure 23: The new measure requires the groom to put his arm around the bride's body and cut it three times. Only if it is not bad can he pass the test. Any one of them is wrong, and the groom will be punished for walking around the bridal chamber three times with the bride in his arms. The 24th trick: protect the flowers with spring mud. In order to show the groom's love for the bride, the groom is required to wrap two people in a big scarf in public and put on simple household clothes for the bride. If the bride dresses abnormally, the groom will be fined three glasses of wine. The 25th trick: The groom should give the wedding candy (soft candy) to the bride with his mouth. A * * * costs 30 yuan. Of course, the groom can help the bride eat. If the groom doesn't eat, other men can take his place! Twenty-sixth trick: Three-inch golden lotus lets the groom guess how many centimeters the bride's feet are. If he guessed wrong, he asked the groom to put on new high heels and walk three times in the bridal chamber. Twenty-seventh trick: there is love in spring. In order to show that the groom is powerful, he can manage the family in the future. Therefore, the groom is required to carry the bride into the bridal chamber and walk five times on the spring bed. Brides are not allowed to fall. If the groom is weak, another man can take his place. Twenty-eighth trick: to sing love songs, you should prepare some happy love songs. Guests will take the lead in singing, and then the bride or groom will relay. If the singer is wrong or can't sing, the bride will punish the male guests for kissing, the groom will be fined three glasses of wine to make a beer, and a cork will be made. Or, directly drill a small hole in the lid of the beer bottle, let the groom stand on the stool, and let the groom hold the beer coupon with his legs. With the bottle mouth forward, the bottle will be regarded as * * letting the bride hold the cup to face the groom. #%% @ Oh, I missed @% # .................................................................... &; % ... The groom takes a break before shooting # @ #% # ... #! Put a spherical plasticine on the bride's hip, and then hang a jar on the middle belt in front of the groom. The bride bent down and the groom rolled the spherical plasticine into a round sesame cake shape with a can. The groom should move his hips, back and forth, left and right, and get out. The bride must make a "ah-"sound. This can also be replaced by sitting opposite the bride and groom and letting the bride roll plasticine on the groom's part with a can, but "the groom's head must be tilted back once." When he looks up, he must close his eyes. Everyone should prepare an alarm clock, adjust the time (it will ring every once in a while), and then hide the alarm clock in the new house. It will be very lively at night. Let the bride and groom look for an alarm clock all night. Let the bride and groom put the Arabic numerals 0 to 9 with their bodies. It's even worse to put 26 English letters. Let the bride eat a banana under the bridegroom's belt buckle and ask her if it's delicious while eating. Let the bride hold something in her left hand, put it in from the groom's left trouser leg, and put her right hand into the right trouser leg tube, and let her give something from her left hand to her right hand. The bride lies on her back, and the groom puts his hands on both sides of the bride's head, doing push-ups face to face and kissing each other. :) Push the bride and groom onto the bed and let them throw out 18 things ... You can stop and leave when you see underwear. Pushing an egg: Put a raw egg in the bride's left sleeve, then let the groom go through the clothes, bypass the chest, push it out from the right sleeve, then push it into the right trouser leg and push it out from the left trouser leg. Tie a thin thread around the groom's waist and a small candy at the end. The groom stood behind the bride, and the bride bent down. The groom holds the bride's waist with his hands behind his back, swings the thin thread back and forth with the strength of his waist, and the bride bends down and puts the sugar in her mouth and between her legs, even if it is successful. When my brother got married, two people were arranged to sit on a spittoon, face to face, each holding a marriage certificate, which read: "I want to get married." RMB is. . Love him (her) ... "The two read the slogan of the Iron Man Wang Jinxi: Go big, go fast, dig wells diligently, and get more oil; The groom hangs a chopstick behind his trousers and a beer bottle on the ground, which needs the bride's command. The groom squatted down and put chopsticks into the bottle. Finally, do you want to ask? Answer it; Holding each other's arms and saying 100 nicknames, I was very serious at first, and then all kinds of household appliances came out, the simplest and the effect was quite good. Two walnuts are placed in the groom's trouser leg ... Go straight ... Go to the knee and ask the bride: Where are you? A: Knees! How many walnuts are there? A: Two! Ask again: which is bigger? A: The left hand (or right hand) is big! ... another bride will climb the walnut tree again ... somewhere ... Where did you ask? A: ... and ask: Where are we? Answer: ... you can remind the bride until she says it ... and then ask: How many walnuts are there now? A: Two! /Wrong, ask again until you answer four! Ask again: How many big walnuts, how many small walnuts ... Answer: Two big walnuts and two small walnuts ... Ask: Why ... Answer, and order them to exchange their left and right walnuts ... If they can't answer, put two big walnuts in, take out the small walnuts and leave. Driving: play, men and women sit in chairs face to face ... women take off their shoes and put their right feet somewhere in men. This is called stepping on the gas pedal. Men put their arms straight on women in two places, which is called holding the steering wheel ... one behind each man and one behind each woman, pushing two people respectively. When pushing a woman, the woman must imitate the sound of stepping on the gas door ... "RI ~ ~ ~ ~" When pushing a man, the man's simulated horn ... "Bibi ~ ~" ... When both men and women are familiar with each other, the people behind both men and women should speed up the frequency ... Yes, the bride lies on her back and the groom holds her face to face. The program planner asked the bride to sing "We Workers Have Strength". You remember that revolutionary song. The key: change the "worker" to the groom's name, and then the groom will answer "hi"! I have to do push-ups at the same time ... the scene at that time-bride: we XX have strength. Groom: (doing push-ups) Hey! Bride: Busy at work every day. Groom: (panting and doing push-ups) Hi! Add chopsticks (meaning to add a child) Put a chopstick in a beer bottle, revealing about 1 cm, and let the bride and groom add it with their tongues. Rolling: The groom lies on his back and lets the bride roll the noodles from head to toe with a beer bottle (or a short wooden stick) until the groom's penis becomes hard. Eight tricks to make trouble in the bridal chamber. You are happy, and I am happy. 1, collective warm-up: the winning bride wears a low-necked topless shirt. Each guest takes a candy, writes his name on the candy paper and puts it in the bride's collar. When all the "lottery tickets" are put into the "lottery box", the groom goes out and reaches into the female collar with one hand, and can only touch one candy at a time. * * * Touch for 3 times to select male and female host and game director respectively. If the touched person lacks the talent of the host or director and needs to quit, please take out 10 yuan as the bonus of the next winner, and the groom will continue the lucky draw. And so on until you find someone who is willing to take on this great responsibility. If everyone wants to be a master of ceremonies or a director, the winner can come out for auction. Although the protagonist of this link is not a couple wheel, but it is related to everyone present, plus the stimulation of bonuses or auctions, the atmosphere at the scene must be very warm. Unexpected entertainment effect: What if the groom touches the nipple instead of the candy? 2. Preparation: The bride lies on her body, and the female guest ties a condom in the hidden parts of her body (such as hair, between her legs, underarms, etc.). ) Use string or transparent glue. The groom, blindfolded, groped around each other with his hands until he found the condom. Of course, the bride must keep it absolutely confidential. If she reveals the secret on purpose, she will be punished by the game. This is the most enlightening part. The use of condoms is the guarantee of a healthy life, which cannot be ignored, because if you are not careful, you will die, depending on whether you can bear it! Unexpected entertainment effect: In desperation, the groom broke the rubber band that tied the bride's hair and found a condom inside. Is this a treasure hunt successful? 3. Foreplay 1: Take out the ball and tie the groom's thighs with two ropes, so that the trouser legs and trousers can be connected into a pocket, and things will not slide down. Put a bird egg, an egg, a duck egg and a goose egg in the belt. Everything was ready, and the bride put her hand into the groom's pants and fished for eggs from small to large. Take out one and ask, "whose egg is this?" "The groom must answer truthfully. It was not until the goose egg was pulled out that the bride asked, "whose egg is this?" The groom replied, "Goose (my) egg! "This is a common sense class. No matter what eggs are the source of life, we should cherish them. Unexpected entertainment effect: accidentally touching a goose egg, the bride's line was changed to "whose egg is rotten?" "The groom should have a heavy heart. 4. Foreplay 2: Shock waves attach inflatable balloons to key parts of the bride and groom, such as two balls on the bride's breast, one ball on the sexy part of the lower body and two balls on the sexy part of the groom's lower body. Then tie their hands and feet, and the two sides can only crush each other and collide with each other to break the balloon until both balloons are broken. This level mainly considers the intimacy and physical harmony of the bride and groom. The two in-laws joined forces and cut off their interests. What is a small balloon? Unexpected entertainment effects: copy the kidnapping skills in movies, give full play to the subjective initiative of the mouth, hateful balloons, I will bite you even if I hit you? 5, foreplay 3: Banana mature foreplay is not afraid of more, the more the more delicious. The groom lies on his back, grips a banana with the sexy part between his legs, and then the woman throws the banana out with something like a tape roll or bracelet, which takes 10 times to complete the task. This is a season when bananas are ripe, and people are full of joy in harvesting. Why are bananas abundant here instead of peaches? ! In fact, peaches are also rich in nutritional value. Unexpected entertainment effect: due to the influence of many throws, the groom has some subtle changes Don't be proud of real bananas. Get out of the way when it's time! 6. The fun begins: tie a sponge on the bride's hip and cut a seam in the middle. Tie a banana vertically around the groom's waist. At the beginning of the game, the groom must insert the banana into the gap of the sponge. Does the bride have to ask "miss" every time she inserts it? The groom answers "yes" or "no" according to the actual situation! This is a physical health lesson, the most important lesson in life. Unexpected effect: what should I do if the banana falls into the sponge seam and can't be pulled out? 7, climax: shoot darts, the groom blindfolded and put a plate 3 meters in front of him. The groom shoots the darts into the dish with his hands, and the bride is responsible for picking them up. Every time the groom shoots a dart, he asks the bride, "Is it inside or outside? "? The bride answered truthfully until the groom shot the darts into the plate. This is a simple contraceptive knowledge class. However, the safety index of contraception by this method is not high, which requires men to have strong control ability. Unexpected effect: the dart just hit the edge of the plate. Is it inside or outside? 8. Dismissed: The two first got into a big bed, then took off all the clothes on the bed and threw them out for inspection. Only then did I confirm that the two men in the quilt were naked. Then, put your clothes under the covers, turn off the lights, and wait outside the covers, counting from 1 to 10 in unison, finally turn on the lights, and then open the covers. It's dark, it's a trivial matter to wear the wrong underwear, and it's miserable when spring comes. If one party dresses too fast, the other party should be careful! Unexpected effect: the bride and groom can't wait. As soon as they went to bed, the real drama was officially staged. Are you still panting? 1. Five children enter the topic-in order to test the tacit understanding of the new couple's cooperation, find a red rope. The new couple each hold one end, tie a lit cigarette in the middle, put five vertical matches on the table (which can be inserted on the fruit), and then the new couple can't help but light them by hand, so they cooperate to light all five matches. Tip: Be sure to tighten the rope and aim with your eyes. 2. Love Cup-Take two identical cups, fill them with wine, cover the mouth of one cup with plastic wrap, and then slowly pull out the film from the mouth-to-mouth buckle of the two cups, asking couples not to drink the two cups together and not to spill them. Tip: As long as one of the couples pushes the cup away a little, the other one just drinks hard. 3. Treasure Hunt with Sweet Lips-The groom is lying flat on four chairs, and the brothers are watching. Put 8- 10 small objects on the groom, which can be small candy, beef jerky and the like. The bride turned around blindfolded, then collected all the small objects on the groom with her "sweet lips" with both hands, then took off the blindfold and fed them to the groom one by one. Tip: The groom can tell the bride to go left or right. 4. Take things out of the bag-put two raw eggs next to the groom's two trouser legs, move them up so that the two eggs meet at an "important position" and then move them away from the other trouser leg. 5. Sweet talk communication-prepare 6 pieces of toffee with the same color and mix them together *** 12 pieces for the bride and groom to hold in their mouths, and then ask them not to help the bride and groom present the toffee with the same color in their mouths (for example, the groom's mouth is full of red toffee, while the bride's mouth is full of milky toffee). Tip: This game focuses on the cooperation between the bride and groom. You can open your mouth for each other to observe and then cooperate with each other. 6. Nongfu Spring is a little sweet-prepare a glass of mineral water, the groom stands on the stool and holds the mineral water bottle with his legs (the position of the clamp should be supervised), and then the bride bites off the lid and takes a sip into the microphone and says "XXX's Nongfu Spring is a little sweet". 7. Shock wave-stick the inflatable balloon on the key parts of the bride and groom, and then tie their hands and feet. The two sides can only crush each other and collide with each other to break the balloon until both balloons are broken. 8. See the needle-tie a sponge on the bride's hip and cut a seam in the middle. Tie a banana vertically around the groom's waist. At the beginning of the game, the groom must put the banana sponge in the gap. Does the bride have to ask "miss" every time she inserts it? The groom answers "yes" or "no" according to the actual situation! 9. hilarious push-ups-let the bride lie flat on the bed, put a balloon on it, and then let the groom do 100 push-ups on it. When the groom can't support himself, he will press on the bride, and the balloon between them will explode, bringing joy to the wedding night. 10. Lipstick tells the truth-let the bride hold a lipstick in her mouth, write "I love you" on the groom's face, and then let the bride and groom face each other until the bride's face is also printed with "I love you", which is recognized by everyone. 1 1. Is it disgusting enough?-Let the groom sweet-talk the bride until everyone feels disgusting enough. 12. Who is the real bride-put four chairs in the middle or in front of the room, and then let the groom and three men stand in front of the chairs. Now, blindfolded, the bride can recognize the groom by touching these men's breasts. Whether she knows it or not, let her check it. After the bride turned around several times, she felt the same again. Uncover the cloth 13. An Neng Debate between Men and Women-Let the bride and groom exchange wedding dresses as the ending song of the bridal chamber, that is, the groom wears a wedding dress and the bride wears a suit to send all the guests outside the door. 14. Extraction by stages-prepare 12 hard fruit candy with moderate size, and let the groom say "wife, I love you" with a candy in his mouth according to the method of February 1- 12 until he contains 12 candy. Then the bride and groom "transfer" the groom's 12 candy to their mouths mouth to mouth, and say "husband, I love you" with the candy three times. Spit the sugar into a plate again, and let's check if there is any sugar swallowed by the new couple. If you miss a candy, you will be fined again until you are satisfied. 15. The crow drinks water-the bride sits in a chair with her head held high, her face facing the sky, her mouth wide open and a big mouthful of tea in her mouth. There are some sweets and peanuts on the table. The groom dressed as a crow, his arms straight, his waist bent at 90 degrees, and his mouth imitated the crow and shouted "melon …". After walking beside the bride for a week, he put his head out and looked at her mouth. When he found water, he jumped happily on the table with a candy in his mouth, jumped back to the bride, stuffed the candy into her mouth with his mouth, and then leaned over and took a sip of water, going back and forth three times. 16. Banana bungee jumping-Bind bananas with elastic ropes and hang them at the highest place where the groom can jump, and the groom pulls them down with his mouth. The bride and groom peel off the skin with their mouths and eat together. In order to prevent the rope from retracting, one person has to do the action and the other person has to bite the banana, which depends on the cooperation of two people. 17. When the fire is strong, the jujube will grow early-insert matches on the jujube and float in a basin full of water. A lit cigarette was tied in the middle of a red line, and both ends were bitten by the couple. When you enter and I return, you can use cigarettes to light the matches in the basin together. Hold your breath and use solid "dental skills" and vision to succeed. 18. Kiss your sweetheart-The groom lies on his back in bed, and then sticks the sliced bananas on his face and neck, so that the blindfolded bride can look for those banana slices with her mouth. 19. Add chopsticks-(meaning to add a child) Put a chopstick in a beer bottle, revealing about 1 cm, and let the bride and groom add it with their tongues. 20. Rolling noodles-:The groom lies on his back and lets the bride roll the noodles from head to toe with a beer bottle (or a short wooden stick) until the groom's face hardens. 2 1. Knock gongs and drums-the groom ties a big spoon around his waist with a rope, and the bride ties a pan around his waist. The groom stood upright and knocked on the pot 10 times with a spoon. Both of them shouted the slogan of the iron king Man Jinxi: Be bigger, get up quickly, dig wells frequently and get more oil; Loud enough until everyone is satisfied. 22. The groom hangs a chopstick from the back of his trousers and puts a beer bottle on the ground, requiring the bride to command him. The groom squatted down and put chopsticks into the bottle. Finally, do you want to ask? I answered it. 23. A banana and a condom were prepared, and the correct use of condoms was demonstrated on the spot. 24. Let the bride and groom pose with Arabic numerals 0 to 9. It is even more powerful to put 26 English letters. 25. The groom hangs a banana under the belt buckle for the bride to eat. While eating, he asked her if it was delicious. 26. The bride lies on her back, and the groom puts his hands on both sides of the bride's head, doing push-ups face to face and kissing each other. 27. Push the bride and groom into bed and let them throw out 18. 28. Give candy to the brides-that is, let the brides count clockwise, and the one who counts to "three" every "one, two, three" will get a bag of candy and then leave the circle. Let the bride continue to order until everyone gets the candy, but the groom must get the candy last, or he will be punished. 29. Run Gankun-put different parts of the chicken, such as head, tail, wings, spleen, chest and neck, on a plate, and then put the plate in a rotating basin, and the groom will turn it. When that part turns to yourself, you must kiss that part of the bride's body. 30. Love each other-ask couples to make out in public, and you can ask for specified actions, such as long kisses and deep kisses. 3 1. Carp yue longmen-Let the bride stand on the gantry with her feet apart, put a toothpick in the orange as a football, and the groom is responsible for kicking it into the gantry. If she fails, she will be punished for drinking. 32. Fly with me-the groom can fly around with the bride in his arms in a limited time. 33. Like a duck to water-the bride puts the ice cubes in her mouth and kisses the groom until the ice cubes are completely melted. 34. Raise a glass and drink-put two drinking pipes in the beer, and ask the couple to finish the wine within a time limit. If they exceed the time limit, they will have another drink. 35. There is a connection between heart and heart-the bride is blindfolded, and the groom and all the brothers line up, so that the bride can grope for the groom one by one in a limited time. 36. Red Lip Hunting-Sister brides print their lips on paper in order to let the groom find the bride's lip prints. If they print them wrong, they will be punished for singing love songs. 37. Husband and woman sing together-brothers and sisters sing together, newcomers sing along with the lyrics, and act along with the lyrics. If they are not satisfied, they will be punished to sing from beginning to end until they are satisfied. 38. Soul mate-put a balloon on the couple's chest, walk a certain distance in a limited time, and try to crush the balloon together (not by hand) to show success. 39. Make a fortune-put a coin from the bride in the groom's sleeve and pass it from side to side through the sleeve. Coins must not fall, but must pass through the groom's chest. 40. It's delicious-the bride blindfolded and fed the groom the cake. The groom's head can't move, and he can only tell the bride's direction by speaking. 4 1. grow old together-find a big disk full of flour, bury a candy in the flour, and then let the bride and groom blow the flour to find the candy. The effect can be imagined. The bride and groom must cover everything and grow old together.