About the Mandarin sketch script

(Dad) A: I have been on a business trip for more than half a month, and I haven’t seen my girl when I got home. It’s almost 5 o’clock now, and it’s time for her to go home after school. (Smell) My clothes smell of cigarette smoke. I'd better change them. My daughter is really smart. She is afraid that my smoking and drinking are harmful to my health, so she has long been opposed to it. I'd better change into a black suit, which goes well with my white shirt (I'm changing as I talk).

(Daughter) B: (Singing) The little penguin is so cool, Lio Lioli, wearing that black suit, with his white belly exposed, I asked the penguin, where is the penguin’s home... Hey! Home (Rings the doorbell) Ding dong.

A: Just as she was talking, she came back (open the door).

B: Dad, you are back from a business trip. You have lost weight after not seeing me for a few days.

A: Looking at my precious girl, I feel sorry for Dad.

B: What girl? That's Niu, Junniuniu, not Junniuer Niuer.

A: What’s up! Not happy today?

B: That’s not today, it’s the present, it’s the past, not past and present. Dad, you’d better learn to speak Mandarin with me!

A: I am already several decades old, why should I learn Mandarin? Those who talk nonsense, and others laugh at them, can really drain the water of the Yellow River.

B: Mandarin is the standard language of our country. Learning to speak Mandarin not only reflects a person’s quality, but also shows respect for others.

A: Hey! And you lied to your father! Whatever you want to learn, don’t learn it from a child of your age. Even if you want to learn it, learn it from an expert. Let’s talk about it tomorrow!

B: You’re looking down on people again, aren’t you? What tomorrow? That is Ming. A movie star, not a movie star.

A: Hey! Baby, do you dislike your father?

B: No way! Isn't that also good for you? I always say that Baiyin is a shell, not a shell. It is a shell, not a shell.

A: Look! You really called me Shangbaner! According to what you said, I have lived for dozens of years, and at this age I have become a person who cannot speak. I am really a fool.

B: I think it’s pretty much the same.

A: What? Call me stupid.

B: No, I say it’s still too late to learn.

A: Study! You also have to find people with standard pronunciation. By the way, broadcasters and program hosts speak with standard pronunciation, and I will learn from them.

B: What? There are many types of hosts, and some have inaccurate pronunciation.

A: Little girl, your tone of voice is quite small. Even the host thinks that his (her) voice is not standard. You are really going too far.

B: Dad! I'm not talking about you. I'll tell you what the host said about the program "Totle" that teaches you how to cook.

A: Tell me!

B: Hello, everyone in front of the TV screen! Today is the time for me to teach you a trick again. What should I teach you to cut (learn) today?

A: What to study? Say it quickly.

B: What should I teach you to cut (learn) today? If I don’t say it, everyone won’t know.

A: Isn’t that nonsense? Don't you think anyone can know?

B: Today I will teach you how to make a dish called Hongsao (roast) ZO (meat).

A: What ZO? That's meat.

B: ZO!

A: Meat!

B: ZO...

A: Meat ZO...

B: You have learned ZO too!

A: Okay! Stop talking nonsense and continue hosting.

B: Listen carefully, audience friends, what is the key to making Hongzhi ZO? If I don’t say it, everyone won’t know.

A: Tell me, tell me quickly. If you don’t tell me, will anyone know?

B: The key to making this ZO is to urinate (material). It won’t work if you urinate too much, and it won’t work if you urinate too little. If you add too much, the smell of urine will be too strong; if you add too little, it will be tasteless.

A: Wait...what cooks? There are also those that add urine. Can you still eat it if you add urine? Smells like urine.

B: The urine I am talking about is urine with urine (material), not urine with urea.

A: That’s a condiment, not a diuretic. Do you ever talk like that? It sounds substandard, so I won’t learn from you.

B: Who did you learn from? Just learn from me!

A: (Thinking) Let me think about it. By the way, I will learn from other bosses. Those bosses travel all over the world to do business and meet many people, so they can speak Mandarin well.

B: Pull me down! There are different bosses, and some have inaccurate pronunciation. Boss Liu of the paper factory signed a contract with a Hong Kong businessman and sold out all the goods that were backlogged in the warehouse. If the goods were not enough, he went to the workshop to produce paper in person to avoid delaying the supply.

A: What a good boss!

B: Don’t praise him. This Hong Kong businessman was very moved when he learned that Boss Liu was personally rushing the goods in the workshop, so he went to the workshop to see Boss Liu.

A: That’s a great feeling!

B: Dad! Guess what?

A: I don’t know, tell me!

B: The Hong Kong businessman came to the workshop. Boss Liu was cutting paper with a knife. The Hong Kong businessman came forward and said: Boss Liu! I'm so touched that you did this. Boss Liu said: If you dare to (move) me, I will dare (to thank) you even more! He said that before he could put the knife away, he went up to shake hands and thanked you: You asked for my goods, so I should cut them into pieces (thank you). When the Hong Kong businessman heard this, his face suddenly turned pale, he hurriedly took away his hands and ran away, shouting as he ran: I don't want your goods anymore, don't cut them. Unexpectedly, Boss Liu chased after him with a knife and shouted: Boss cut it... (Thank you).

A: When the Hong Kong businessman did business with him, he used a knife to cut them up like paper (thank you).

BThat’s not a big deal but a thank you.

A: It was a false alarm and almost killed someone.

B: No lives were lost, the business was not completed, and all the goods previously sent were returned.

A: OK! I don’t learn from him, I learn from others.

B: Don’t look for others, just learn from me!

A: Let me learn from you. What skills do you have? Show me your hand.

B: Let’s make a tongue twister!

A: Come quickly!

B: There is a vine high on the mountain, and a copper bell is hung on the vine. The wind blows the vine and the bell moves. When the wind stops, the vine stops and the bell stops. Not bad!

A: Not bad! Any more?

B: A small flower drum with a tiger painted on it. The baby broke the drum and the mother used cloth to mend it. I don’t know whether it was the cloth that was used to mend the drum or the tiger.

A: It’s a pretty good example! Let’s learn to speak Mandarin with you!

AB: Learning Mandarin well is not only conducive to language communication, but also increases cultural knowledge.

Thank you all!