Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 1985 Wonderful experience of Ma Bao with baby: Pay attention to these when using diapers for baby.
1985 Wonderful experience of Ma Bao with baby: Pay attention to these when using diapers for baby.
Being a mother for more than four years, I got rid of the torture of postpartum depression, the anxiety of stay-at-home mothers, and the curse of my baby's brain for three years (maybe). Now I won't tell you about the pain of rising milk, the difficulty in falling asleep, the hunger of not eating on time, and the lack of sleep. Finally, I can tell you all the stories I have experienced as jokes.
This time, I will tell you a story about diapers.
I prepared diapers one month before the due date and bought two packs of diapers the size of a newborn.
At that time, the supermarket salesman told me that it was enough to buy a bag of diapers of this newborn size, because at that time, relatives and friends would send diapers.
My husband agreed at that time and bought a bag. However, considering that I have a baby at work, no relatives and some friends and colleagues, but I can count with both hands, I decided to buy two bags of diapers the size of a newborn.
After my daughter was born, my husband and I often leaked sideways after changing her diaper. Therefore, my husband studied and improved the method of wearing diapers-sticking the diapers tightly.
Since then, my daughter has never peed diapers again, but her ass is red.
I'm confused. I think we often change diapers. As soon as the diaper thread changes color, we change it, not every hour, but every two hours. And every time we change diapers, my husband will wash his daughter with warm water, then use a dry paper towel to absorb the water and then wear diapers. How did our asses turn red?
So I went to the omnipotent circle of friends to find the answer, and everyone quickly helped me solve the case:
1, the diaper bag is too tight;
2, diapers are not used with ass music.
When someone in my circle of friends suggested that I change the newborn size diapers into size S, I found that the package of size S diapers said "4-8kg baby".
When my daughter was born, she was 4.2kg, and she had meat on her buttocks and stomach-in fact, the size of the newborn's diaper was too small for my daughter, and I thought it was because the package was not tight enough, so I tried my best to stick to her. ...
We are really "pit babies" ...
When I was about to unpack the unopened size S diapers for my daughter, my husband floated by and said, "Just use up the diapers of the newborn size!" " You see, I bought two bags, but I don't need to finish them. What a waste. "
I went back in a rage: "It won't be wasted. When you are old and urinary incontinence, I will keep it for you. "
With such a pig teammate, no wonder I'm in such a hurry.
At that time, when choosing diapers, I went to ask other mothers what to buy and what brand to buy. Told me to buy a big brand with no red buttocks. I listened, so I bought a big brand, well, so that the child wouldn't have a red ass.
Me: "But why is my daughter's ass still red?"
Others: "Didn't you apply hip cream to your daughter?"
Me: "What? Still need hip cream? Nobody told me! Will that buttock cream have hormones? "
Others: "It's okay to apply a small amount, or pine pollen will do."
I was not at ease and asked my circle of friends again. Basically, as long as my peers who have given birth know that my daughter's ass is red. ...
Now that I think about it, I really looked like a madman then. When you catch a person, you ask, you ask the answer, and then you doubt it. Then I asked another person who had just organized a "baby's red ass" in a circle of friends. Treat what disease? " Voting activities.
So, within half a day, we have sesame oil, camellia oil, rapeseed oil, purple grass paste, pine pollen, ass music and so on.
When my daughter's ass was the worst, I used sesame oil, camellia oil and rapeseed oil in turn, and then sprinkled pine pollen.
Later, my daughter stopped blushing, so I found it convenient to protect her buttocks. Just follow the instructions and apply a little each time you change diapers. Since then, my children rarely have serious red buttocks. Generally, just apply a little. At this time, I am not afraid of hormones in ass cream. Maybe I'm more afraid of children's red buttocks than hormones.
But just a few days ago, I heard that it was not good to apply hip cream to my children every day ... I comforted myself calmly-my daughter only wore diapers for a year and a half, and I applied hip cream for a year and a half, until I was 4 years old, and I still didn't find the sequelae left by applying hip cream. ...
Fortunately, I didn't know this three years ago, otherwise I would have worried about whether to use hip cream for my children-now I think my previous behavior is really incredible.
In fact, my postpartum depression happened when my daughter's ass was red: at that time, I really held her ass all day to see if it was red. Once I found it was red, so I quickly put something on it. I'm worried about hormones and sequelae after applying it ... really, now I treat the old me as a joke.
Fortunately, I have come out of my anxiety and can treat many parenting problems with a normal heart.
Or now you, like me, have got out of the anxiety of bringing a baby. You can tell your anxiety like a joke, and you are welcome to share it with us to make everyone happy.
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