Who can provide some funny jokes? Not too long. Have some more brain teasers! thank you

. Money is not the problem, but no money!

2. I won't obey anyone when I'm drunk, so I'll hold the wall!

3. I'm like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

4. Do you know, big brother? The meat of the second brother is now more expensive than that of the master. 5. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you should at least eat a pair of whales ...

6. If the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if people are mean, they will be invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. You can see a lot of it, but it is not enough to use it ~ 8. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

9. Friends around me, please become famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~

1. Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers, and the first thing they say is, "Hello, Mr. Liu, what's your name?" Sweat ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

11. A female classmate is a little dark, and her boyfriend is a little white. One day, the queen of poison tongue in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this, you will give birth to zebras."

12. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

13. I'm too lazy to compare with you.

14. I'm not a casual person. I'm not a casual person.

15. God said that there should be light, and I said I was against it. Since then, there has been darkness in the world.

16. I'm in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the previous two. My words are over ...

17. English name God, dharma number is Tathagata ...

19. People can't hang themselves on a tree, but try to die several times in several nearby trees

2. If a tree doesn't need its skin, it will die. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

21. The farmer's three fists hurt a little

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: I was loved by everyone when I was a child, but now I am a bitch.

23. I am not afraid of enemies like tigers, but I am afraid of teammates like pigs.

24. Go my own way and let others take a taxi.

25. Rats carry knives and look for cats all over the street. It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because

28. Speak of the devil, get out of here as far as you can

29. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can you truly realize that you are a "descendant of the dragon".

3. Lovers eventually become family members

31. Spring has come, and a flock of geese are flying north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while ...

32. Lie down where you fall

33. You think I'm HELLO KITTY if the tiger doesn't show off!

34. Donkeys are full of thoughts ~

◆ Women are plump, thin, slender, tall, slender, short and petite; Men are fat, pigs are thin, ribs are tall, bamboo poles are short, and winter melon ◆ Professor: 9% of adult women in China are not virgins. The President sent a letter to the other 1% of women. Have you heard of this? The girls shook their heads. "So you didn't get the letter!" ◆ "How much do you love me?" "As much as a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime a ten?" You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper. If you live, who will set off the beauty of the world without you!

1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

2. arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish or not, I finally said, "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish.

3. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it is useless to try again.

4. If reply was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

5. Life can't be like cooking. You don't cook until all the ingredients are ready.

6. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran naked in too many cooks for 2 years!

7. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way, and let them find it by taxi.

8. There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women in XX campus will live forever ...

9. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic ...

1. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs!

11. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind ...

12. I once had a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup ...

13. Water is clear, so there is no fish, and people are invincible!

14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. Today, a group of Japanese people came to visit our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

16. Go as far as your thoughts go! ! !

17. I am poor, so are my servants, my gardener and my driver ...

18. When the bank charges, it says, "This is in line with international practice!" When serving, he said, "We should consider China's national conditions!"

19. The man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be the Tang Priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

2. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

21. The higher you stand, the farther you pee.

22. The lowest goal of a college student: peasant woman, mountain spring, and a little field

23. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and later they broke up, and it became "It" ...

24. Don't call me if there is nothing, let alone if there is anything!

25. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

26. Buddha said, "It took 5 times to look back in the past life to get a pass in this life". I would rather pass by once in the world for 5 times in this life.

27. What can I do to kill your lover ...

28. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet and learned everything when you went out.

29. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves ...

3. I want to fall in love early, but it's too late ...

31. Teacher! Just follow the old woman!

32. I love you! What do you care?

33. there is no limit to learning, and turning back is the shore!

34. Life is fucking fun, because life always fucking plays with me!

35. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

36. I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and my wife doesn't know whose bed she is in!

37. I really want to call your grandfather by myself: Dad!

38. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life!

39. Friends around me, be famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~

4. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock ...

41. I have never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8! ! ! (hidden)

42. House prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good men ...

43. If I become emperor, I will make you a prince!

44. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and then they broke up, and it became "It" ...

45. I never became an excellent college student, but I relied on my strong quality!

46. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image!

47. Life is sometimes like being * * * by a eunuch-resistance is pain, and non-resistance is still pain!

48. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!

49. When it rains in the east and rains in the west, my tutor is heartless and affectionate. So I will fight with my classmates in the exam!

5. Hugging is really a strange thing. Obviously, we are so close, but we can't see each other's faces.

---------------. When you meet a beast, enjoy it slowly ... "

If you can' t find a dinosaur, you use a lizard to top

3 Guan Yu' s long beard, which is personable, carrying a dragon crescent moon blade, and the Jianghu people give him the nickname-Dao Lang.

4 men and women are just animals of desire after all! Can it really be combined because of love? Sorry, I don't know. .

5 don't step on the roadside wildflowers.

6 eating and ml are the primary productive forces.

7 menstruation is not only a woman's pain, but also a man's pain.

8. When is the time to embrace each other? Yang is watching the fun.

9 Yesterday, Tie Hua smiled at me, making me count sheep at night, one sheep, two sheep and three sheep ...

1 When I grow up, I will marry Tang Priest as my husband. If I can play, I will play. If I can't, I will eat him.

11 a man may love you or not if he has an impulse, but he definitely doesn't love if he doesn't have an impulse!

12 stands higher and urinates farther.

13 female, sweet, very fat! The woman has a hobby: she hates ants and kills them when she sees them. Ask him the old saying: this little thing loves sweets so much and has such a thin waist!

14 break the wife's life tenure system and implement the aunt's shareholding system. Introduce miss competition system and promote lover contract system.

15 On a crowded bus, a girl suddenly cried, Stop crowding! Stop squeezing! Squeeze out all the milk! She is holding yogurt.

16 I am not in the Jianghu, but there are legends about me in the Jianghu.

17 I am in Jianghu, but there is no legend of me in Jianghu.

18 If I irrigate, call me "Theory of Three Represents" for not learning well.

19 If reply was a virtue, I would have become a saint!

2 Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

21 The meal is in the pot and I am in bed * _ *

22 Love is countless meals, and marriage is a meal.

23 Come on, MM, let's go to become a butterfly ...

24 Take care of the environment, everyone is sick.

25 love-not an idea, love-is made! !

26 If you love her, please perform painless abortion for her!

27 I never write wording, but I write generic words!

28 Effect of contraception: If you don't succeed, you will become a "person".

29 Erection is not everything, but you can't do anything without it!

3 Don't hang yourself from a tree, try to die several times in nearby trees ~

31 Don't sleep in class, just bury yourself drunk on the wine table.

32 looks really creative and lives really bravely!

33 Since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on my head.

34 ugly, but ugly is special, that is, especially ugly!

35 Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them find it.

36 You can lose weight by exercising in bed, don't you know?

37 It is forbidden to urinate and defecate here, and the tools will be confiscated.

38 Only when you read the cramp can you think like a urine collapse!

39 Buddha said, color is emptiness, and emptiness is color! Tonight, I'd like to take a break

4. The reason why many female stars are not popular is because they don't open their legs * _ *

41. It's better to spend money "on the sun"! * _ *

42 explanation is cover-up, and cover-up is making up stories!

43 The essence of classic is fine spot! ! !

44 my god, did you let summer and winter share a room? Give birth to this damn weather!

45 vulnerabilities and patches Qi Fei, blue screen * * * crashes!

46 A beautiful woman who leaves before holding her body often makes a satyr cry. . . . . .

47 practice one breath inside and one fart outside.

48 A man can live, but a sow can climb a tree!

49 The IQ of men cheating is second only to Einstein!

5 Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face. . . . . .

51. Actually, I'm a genius, but I'm jealous of talents!

52 Life can't be like cooking. You don't cook until all the ingredients are ready!

53 What matters in life is not where you stand, but where you are heading!

54 since ancient times, no one has died, so you don't need paper to shit!

55 if you can't tell the tutor clearly, then confuse him!

56 If I have a pair of eyes to cry with, it is worth my suffering for my life.

57 I wish I could COPY the hardware at any time!

58 Life is fun, because life always plays with me!

59 All unforgettable love is the moment when the soul drifts on the bed!

6 days fall, you support it, and I will cushion it!

61 Listen to your words and save me ten books!

62 undressed, I'm an animal; put on clothes, I'm devil wears prada!

63 study hard for China! A pack of Chinese is a lot of money ~ ~

64 My id is fake, so don't believe that I am a liar.

65 My mother always said that our family wouldn't be so poor without a telephone.

66 I like children, and I like the process of making children even more!

67 I lost a penny by the road!

68 It's raining. Don't forget to take an umbrella. If you get wet, gonorrhea will be troublesome. * _ *

69 The art of self-cultivation is actually the art of lying.

7 there is no limit to learning, and turning back is the shore!

71 A momentary impulse is a crisis for future generations!

72 I'm not a casual person, but if you want to be casual, I'll do whatever you want!

73 you have something to do as a secretary, but nothing to do as a secretary!

74 keep pace with the times, and you and I * * * will reach the climax!

75 as long as it's not dirty, we are the mainstream!

76 Only the fakes are real, and everything else is fake!

77 E net is deeply in love, hand in hand with e net. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

78 students, easy. Live, easy. Life is not easy.

79 hooligans are not to be feared, but they are afraid of being educated.

8 What you do when you have sex, the person you have sex with.

81 who was I before I was born, and who was I after I was born?

82 Death teaches people everything, just like the results announced after the exam-although it suddenly dawned, it was too late ~!

83 If you don't go bad in debauchery, you will be abnormal in silence!

84 has gone through youth, and my feet have blisters

85. Businessmen don't know how to hate national subjugation, and prostitutes don't know about extramarital affairs.

86 animals have a little pity, but I don't, so I'm not an animal.

87 All men are born equal, except those who get married.

88 exercise your muscles to prevent being beaten!

89 After watching all the porn in the world, I naturally have no code in my heart ~

9 If the dinosaur was a man, what was that man? <