English essays must be translated.

① Goldfish Goldfish

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to put them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: blindfold them! = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Fred: Where do you want to keep them? Stan: The bathroom. Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: blindfold them!

(2) Retaliation for cheating the price.

Old farmer Johnson is dying. The family stood by his bed. He whispered to his wife, "When I die, I want you to marry farmer John." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone from now on." Johnson: "But I hope you can." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse trade! = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = He whispered to his wife, "When I die, I want you to marry farmer Jones." The wife said, "No, I can't marry anyone after you die." Johnson: "But I hope you do." Wife: "Why?" Johnson: "Because Jones once cheated me in a horse deal."

I think I am a chicken. I think I am a chicken.

Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I am a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: since I was an egg! = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Patient: I think I am a chicken. Psychiatrist: When did this start? Patient: Since I was an egg.

How do I get the gum out?

The stewardess handed out chewing gum to the passengers, explaining that it was to prevent their ears from bursting. When the plane landed, a passenger rushed to her and said, "I'm going to see my wife soon." How can I get the gum out of my ear? " = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = After the plane landed, a passenger ran up to the stewardess and said, "I'm going to see my wife soon." How can I get the gum out of my ear? "The document is in full swing, and the music is equipped with a mini ipad mobile hard disk to make a Baidu schoolbag.

Where am I? Where am I?

An Englishman lost his way while driving in the country. He saw a farmer working in a nearby field, so he drove over and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am now?" "Yes," said the farmer, looking at him strangely. "You are in your car, sir." = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = So he drove over and asked the farmer. "yes." The farmer looked at him strangely and then said, "You are in your car now, sir."

Why don't you ever call me? Why didn't you call me?

Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband died, but she had a son. He is 2 1 year old and his name is Jeff. He worked in a shop in the village and lived with his mother, but later he got a job in a town and lived there. Its name is Green Sea. It is far from his mother's village, and she is very unhappy about it, but Jeff said, "Mom, there is no good job for me in the country. I can earn a lot of money in Gracia and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry last Sunday. She got on the train and went to her son's home in Gracia. Then she said to him, "Jeff, why didn't you ever call me?" Jeff smiled. "But, Mom," he said, "you don't have a phone." "No," she replied, "I didn't, but you did!" = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Her husband died, but she had a son. He is twenty-one years old, and his name is Jeff. He used to live in a shop in the village with his mother. Later, he got a job in a small town and went to live with ants. Its name is Green Sea. It is far from his mother's village, but she is not happy about it, but Jeff said, "There is no country suitable for me, and my mother doesn't have a good job. I can make a lot of money in Green Sea and send you some every week. " "Last Sunday, Ms. Harris was very angry. She got on the train and went to her son's home in Green Sea. Then she said to him, "Jeff, why didn't you ever call me?" "Jeff smiled." But, mom, "he said," you didn't get the call. "No," she replied, "I didn't, but you did! "

⑦ The same action, the same input and the same result.

Several hunters rented a small plane to take them to the forest and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and pick them up two weeks later. By the end of two weeks, they had shot many animals they wanted to board the plane. But the pilot said, "this plane can only take one bison at most." You must leave others behind. " The hunters protested, "But last year, another pilot in the same plane asked us to take two buffaloes and some other animals on the plane." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little skeptical, but at last he said, "Well, since you did it last year, I think we can do it again this year." Then he put two buffaloes and some other animals in and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in the neighborhood. The three men climbed out and looked around. One hunter said to another hunter, "Where do you think we are now?" The second man surveyed the area and said, "I think we are about a mile to the left of the crash site last year." = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Two weeks later, they photographed many animals. They planned to put them all on a small plane, but the pilot said, "This plane can't carry more than one bison." You must leave all the other prey behind. The hunter said, "but another pilot flew the same plane last year, so let's take two buffaloes and some other animals!" ""Because they protested in this way, the new pilot thought about it. Although he still had some doubts, he finally compromised and said, "All right! If it was done last year, it should be done this year. "So he brought two buffaloes and some other animals. As a result, the plane crashed in a nearby place five minutes after taking off. The three men climbed out of the plane and looked around. One hunter said to another hunter, "Where do you think we are now?" The man looked at it and said, "I think it's about a mile west of where the plane crashed last year!" " "

The boss is at the wedding, sir.

A policeman stopped a driver who was speeding in the street. "But officer," said the man, "I can explain." "Be quiet," snapped the policeman. "I'm going to put you in prison until the director comes back." "But, officer, I ..." "I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail! " A few hours later, the police officer looked at his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the director is attending his daughter's wedding. He will be in a good mood when he comes back. " "Are you sure?" The man in the cell replied. "I am the groom." = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = "Keep quiet," the policeman said suddenly. "I will send you to prison until the Chief Executive comes back. But, police, I, "I said keep quiet, you are going to jail. A few hours later, the policeman looked at the prison and said, "You are lucky because our boss is attending his daughter's wedding." ".He will come back with a happy mood. ""Are you sure? " The man in the cell said. I am the groom.

Who is the laziest?

Father: Well, Tom, I talked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, Dad. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think about it! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how others work? Tom: Our teacher, Dad. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Who is the laziest in your class? Tom: I don't know, Dad. Father: Oh, no, you know! Think about it, when other children are doing their homework and writing, who sits in class and just watches others do their homework? Tom: Our teacher, Dad.

Attending to kill two birds with one bird.

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer Teacher: Please talk about it. Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.