Some super funny sentences

1. Xiao Ming was not good at math and was transferred to a church school by his parents. After half a year, I got straight A’s in math. Mom asked: "Is it because the nuns teach well? Is it because the teaching materials are good? Is it because of prayer?..." "None of them," Xiao Ming said, "On the first day I entered school, I saw a person nailed to the plus sign, and I knew ...They are playing for real.”

2. When I was a child, my teacher told me: There is a hardworking person and a lazy person in the human body. They will fight when you hesitate. In elementary school, the diligent guy often defeated the lazy guy. In junior high school, it was a tie. In high school, the lazy guy often won. But when I got to college, I suddenly discovered that they stopped fighting, and the damn hard-working guy was beaten to death.

3. Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who own houses will eventually become married.

4. There is a very tall coconut tree. There are four kinds of animals: orangutan, ape, monkey and King Kong. They climb up the tree to pick bananas. Which one do you think will pick it first? Test the kind of person you are.

5. Every time a day passes, I circle it on the calendar. On Sunday, I realized that my days had been marked by ellipses.

6. Christmas, every Lan child without a child to accompany him can only tighten his collar at the cold windy street and hear the miserable and tragic songs in the wind that really ring out throughout the city. …"single boy!—single boy!—single all the way!—"

7. Who does McDull have a crush on? Answer: Doraemon. Because of "McDull Ring (Thinking of) Jingle Bell"

8. My brother went to play basketball in a certain elementary school and heard a lower-grade girl ask a lower-grade boy: "Do you love me or not?" The boy was helpless. Said: "My mother gave me 3 yuan a day, and you used two and a half yuan to buy snacks. You tell me whether I love you or not.

9. A sculpture was completed in a new building of a university: A girl holds a book in her left hand and holds a dove, a symbol of peace, high in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students, and many of them had the same slogan - reading is useless!

10. North Korea:...Brother, I want to fight South Korea! China: Automatically reply! North Korea: Brother...you have to help me! China: Automatically reply! China: Automatic reply: Yes! ... China: Damn, I just went to the toilet. What are you talking about? Are you crazy? North Korea: Automatic reply: Hello, I'm busy right now. I'll contact you later.

11. Female: I want to find a boyfriend. Male: "We have a good one in our dormitory." Female: Don't you feel bad if I'm with him? Male: Don't worry about me. It has nothing to do with him.

12. I once had an opportunity to put on extra clothes and I didn’t cherish it until I caught a cold. If God gave me another chance, I will add all my clothes without hesitation.

13. Xiao Ming asked his father to tell him a story. Did he want to hear the long one or the short one? Just a fly, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing... Xiao Ming: Dad, please keep it short! Once upon a time, there was a fly, buzz, snap!

14. Yingzi said to Xiaoqiang: "If I kick you during the exam today, you will have to look at me." "When it was time for the exam, Yingzi kicked Xiaoqiang, and Xiaoqiang replied: Meow...

15. Once upon a time, there was a cucumber. She thought she had too many acne on her face, so she sliced ??it up and applied it to her face.

16. Three men went to the woman to propose marriage. Parents: Tell me about their respective situations. A: I have 10 million; B: I have a mansion worth 20 million; the woman’s parents were very satisfied and asked C. , what do you have at home? C: I have nothing but one child. Now the child is in your daughter’s belly. A and B are speechless and gone.

This case tells us a simple truth. The core competitiveness is not about money and houses, but about having your own people in key positions.

17. A child asked a rich man: Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: When I was a child, I had nothing like you. My father gave me an apple, so I sold that apple, used the money I earned to buy two more apples, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child was thoughtful and said: Sir, I seem to understand. Mr. Rich said: You know your sister. Later, my father died and I inherited all his inheritance. "

18. A loyal party member died. God was not willing to accept the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the King of Hell came sweating profusely and said: "You Take that man away quickly, he has almost turned all my little brats into Young Pioneers! God accepted it, and after another month, the King of Hell gloated and asked God: "What happened to the party members?" " God said: "First of all, please call me **..."

19. Of course, galvanized coffins are more durable, but wooden coffins are good for health.

20. Usually Just scold you, you have to wait until I beat you to realize that I am both civil and military.

21. In order to attract business, the hotpot city wrote this sentence on the billboard: "Self-service hotpot, 30 per person." Yuan, children under 1 meter in height are free. "The aunt in the kindergarten was extremely excited after seeing this. She took 30 yuan in her arms and led 50 children in her class to the hot pot city.

22. Whose bodyguard is more loyal between Chinese leaders and American leaders? , the American leader ordered his bodyguard to jump from the 10th floor. The bodyguard knelt down and said, "Don't do this, I still have my family." ". So the US president relented. The Chinese leader ordered the bodyguard to jump down, and the Chinese bodyguard jumped without saying a word. The US president was so frightened that he quickly grabbed him. The Chinese bodyguard said: "Don't do this, I still have my family.

23. Beggar: Sister-in-law, I haven’t eaten for two days, can you give me some cake? Sister-in-law: Cake? I only have rice here. Beggar: Forget it if it’s normal, but today is my birthday!

24. A woman asked a man, "Am I good-looking?" The man said: You are like Mona Lisa's sister now. The woman said: Really, who is her sister? ? The man said: Zintamasha.

25. It is said that a sandstorm has reached Taiwan. Many old people took to the streets, opened their hands, looked up at the sky at 45 degrees, with tears streaming down their faces, took a deep breath, and said excitedly: It has been 60 years, it has been 60 years, and I finally smell the earthy smell of my hometown. Some funny jokes

Excerpts of some latest funny jokes

1. Grandstanding can gain or lose favor.

2. The two great tragedies in life: one is despair, the other is complacency.

3. Let us use the cold war to keep warm tonight!

4. The greatest sorrow of a person is that he is unwilling to be himself.

5. Sad people like to drink wine and lonely people like to sing old songs.

6. Push yourself and push others.

7. The handsome old man.

8. I feel thirsty when I walk to a place where water is scarce; I feel dizzy when I sit and watch the clouds rise.

9. Alas! Say what you should say and what you shouldn’t say in a low voice.

10. Zi once said: Don’t regard my tolerance of you as your shameless capital!

11. I am embarrassed to catch you, how can you still be embarrassed to steal? ?

12. Look at you! Looking at the back, thousands of troops and horses turn their heads to scare away millions of lions.

13. Anyway, my destiny is always different from their calculation. I don’t know whether they didn’t calculate it correctly or I lived it wrong.

14. Rabbits don’t eat grass around their nests, and the quality is not good, so why bother looking for it around you?

15. People are parallel imports but their hearts are licensed products.

16. No matter how well-dressed you are, you will be knocked down by a brick.

17. I will work hard to realize my dreams to make up for the bragging I did when I was a child.

18. A true warrior dares to face a beautiful girl and faces the bleak single life.

19. As a typical failure, you are too successful.

20. At your age and appearance, you have already fallen below the issue price.

Appreciate some of the latest funny jokes

1. If you like it, roll it if you don’t like it.

2. Never mention it not because of forgetting but because of remembering.

3. The smile with a 30-degree angle on your mouth cannot be found on Baidu.

4. I want the world to know that I am very low-key.

5. The largest church in the world cannot contain your sins.

6. It’s not that the road is uneven but that you’re not good enough.

7. Read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, earn thousands of dollars, and become a heartthrob!

8. Adults are expired children and old people are expired adults.

9. One mistake and you become a famous person for the ages.

10. Why is Nausea’s mother crying so sadly while holding Nausea? Because she is so disgusted

11. The night gave me a black mouse, but I used it to play games until dawn

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12. Whenever the charge horn sounds, I quickly hide in the trench because: I am an undercover!

13. If I couldn't beat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago.

14. My heart is so broken that it looks like dumpling stuffing.

15. Playing the piano to a cow is not a skill, but talking to a cow is the real skill.

16. The road is long and long, so it is better for us to fight it.

17. I don’t want to laugh at taking anesthesia.

18. Respect others. This virtue is often seen during banquets.

19. When you do it right, no one will remember; when you do it wrong, even your breathing is wrong.

20. My future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare.

A selection of the latest funny jokes

1. Most women like a man because she can’t understand him.

2. The stock market is fiercer than the tiger house market, and the stock market is fiercer than the stock market.

3. From a distance, it’s a beautiful sight, but up close, you want to call the police.

4. The most hurtful words always come from the gentlest lips.

5. You are the landlord of my land.

6. If you are a person of iron and steel, don’t pretend to be depressed for a day!

7. Face is given by others but lost by yourself.

8. Honey my eyelashes are drowning

9. In dreams anything is possible.

10. God will definitely forgive me because that is His profession. Some funny things

1. I heard that since you got a mental illness, you have become more energetic.

2. Since I used Anxiety as a ringtone, even 10086 has ignored me.

3. I can’t hug you if I hold a brick in one hand. How can I protect you if I put down the brick?

4. I won’t tell you that I ate cake cakes, and I want to become rich. So handsome

5. Spit is for counting money, not for reasoning.

6. I was bored and sang to the computer in fear. After I finished singing, the computer suddenly crashed.

7. My mother only gave birth to me, so you can figure out who I am.

8. When I am in a bad mood, I take the bus and sit behind someone with long hair to cut her hair.

9. It doesn’t mean that equality between men and women is now implemented. Why can’t I go to the women’s restroom?

10. Just wait and see, if you dare to eat outside secretly, I will dare to drink secretly outside.

11. Go, go, go~ don’t waste the word youth, you are already in the beginning of autumn.

12. I can’t tell whether I am too strong or I am simply heartless.

13. I don’t know Baidu, so don’t ask me so many reasons.

14. When I was a child, my family was poor. I couldn't afford a bicycle, so I had to take a taxi to school every day.

15. Next time I want to die, no one will stop me. Whoever stops me, I will pull anyone to die with me.

16. In life, first be laughed at by others, and then laugh at others. Then I will smile like a child

17. If one day, I cannot get married, please bury me in If You Are the One.

18. The most frustrating time in the exam was when I saw a question. I vaguely remembered that the teacher had said it, but I clearly remembered that I didn’t listen.

19. I feel that this is the most difficult thing in my life. The bright smile is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen

20. When happiness knocks on the door, I am afraid that I will not be at home, so I have always been at home.

21. It is said: Women are as fickle as the weather, and men are like weather broadcasters - unreliable.

22. Watch the time not to get up, but to see how long you can sleep.

23. The one who is handsome and has a rook is chess. Those who have money and houses are banks

24. I always feel that others are full after eating a few bites, but I am full and can still eat a few more bites...

25. I have passed by a person countless times. My clothes were all torn and there were no sparks.

26. It’s not that I don’t want to be a lady, but the world has forced me to become a shrew!

27. During the evening self-study exam, I took out my mobile phone to search for the answer. Suddenly, the teacher turned off the light, and I... lighted up.

28. I want to say that I am so miserable that the end of the world is my birthday.

29. Wukong, don’t become so cruel. Leave it to your master and let him hit her to death on horseback.

30. Why do people live? Just for those pictures of the great Mao Zedong.

31. Just wait, one day I will let you be the mother of my future son!

32. Painting is like life. A good painting is worthless, and a bad painting is worthless.

33. What I give is never equal to what I take back, but I am still waiting for someone.

34. Female donor, my poor monk’s cultivation is still shallow, and I can’t heal your wounds even though I’m separated from you. I’m sorry.

35. Why do you look like this? Are you dissatisfied with this world?

36. If handsomeness can be used as food, my appearance can feed you for two lifetimes.

37. Every time QQ issued a "cough cough" sound, I thought it was a handsome guy adding me as a friend, but I didn't expect that I was kicked out by the group leader.

38. If you are fat, remember not to wear a red scarf. Otherwise you will be like QQ.

39. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself: "If you eat too much, you will die." But it turns out that I am really not afraid of death.

40. If love lasts for a long time, it will not be about pork and pork. Some domineering and funny sentences

1. It is difficult to be a woman these days. If you are more open-minded, people will say you are coquettish; if you are more traditional, people will say you are pretending.

2. I treat you as a treasure, but you don’t know how high the sky is. I pushed you down from the top and smashed you to pieces. What can you do to me?

3. I am just used to having you, not that I am indispensable without you!

4. Don’t smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.

5. The only liar in the world is sincere, because he sincerely deceives you.

6. Xiaosan, thank you for taking away a man who was not worthy of my love. Xiaosi, thank you for avenging me.

7. Just forget it. Do you think I am a document that can be deleted? It’s really not possible to force uninstall on 360!

8. I don’t even want a basin for the water that was thrown out. Funny sentences

9. My mother praised me for being virtuous and knowing nothing in my spare time.

10. Life rounds us in order to make us roll further.

11. Sister, I can’t play chess, calligraphy and painting, but I’m tired of doing laundry and cooking.

12. Because you are sorry, I decided to have nothing to do with you!

13. Tear off the mask and slap your face!

14. My world doesn’t need too many people to understand it. If you understand it, then that’s okay!

15. Those who understand me do not need my explanation, and those who do not understand me do not deserve my explanation.

16. Your mother is born in the Year of the Rooster, because only stupid chickens lay stupid eggs. Some very domineering and funny sentences

17. How many sentences I love you eventually turned into I loved you, this is a bitch! ! !

18. Only when you care can you think wildly. If you don’t care, you won’t even think.

19. You are not so handsome that you are not obvious, but you are so ugly that you stand out.

20. As far as your thoughts go, roll away for me; as fast as the speed of light, roll away for me.