Looking for extremely funny jokes and riddles on the Internet

1. A snail was walking on the road, and a turtle came from behind and ran over him. Later, the snail was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. When Snail regained consciousness, police officers asked him about the situation at that time. The snail replied: "I don't remember, everything happened too fast..."

2. My son has never studied hard since he was a child, and he only knows a little about everything. The day before yesterday, I took my son out shopping. On the food street in front of his home, his son discovered a snail. He picked it up and looked at it, and found that it was dead. After walking for a while, my son found another one. He picked it up and looked at it, and found that it was still dead. Going forward, there are more and more dead snails. My son felt something was wrong, so he ran over to me and asked me, "Dad, look, why are there so many dead snails here?" I took a closer look and almost fainted from anger. I yelled at my son: "What the hell are snails? These are leftover snail shells that others have eaten. Don't pick up things!"

3. There was a child who was very naughty. When he was 8 years old, one summer At night, he was alone at home. Suddenly he heard someone knocking on the door. He opened the door and saw that it was a snail. Suddenly the snail spoke: "Can you give me a bite to eat? I'm so hungry!" The little boy He kicked him away~~ One summer night 10 years later, the child heard the knock on the door again. He opened the door and saw that it was still a snail! ! Suddenly the snail said: "Why are you kicking me!?~~~"

4. In other words, when the butterfly faced the love expressed by the snail and the bee, the butterfly weighed it for a long time and gave up its first love, the bee, and finally chose the snail. . Bee was puzzled and asked: You! ? Why did you break your oath? Why did you choose a stupid and ugly snail instead of flying together with me? ! Butterfly replied calmly: Because the snail has a home, and you are still living in a dormitory.

5. One day, a turtle saw a snail on the roadside and said to the snail, "Come up here and I will take you for a while!" The snail climbed onto the turtle's back and walked away for a while. Yes, the turtle saw another snail and was very anxious, so he said, "Come up too, I will take you!", so the snail also climbed up. When the snail saw the snail, he said: "Hello!". At this time, the snail said: "You must sit still, this damn turtle is too fast!"

6. There was a sports meeting in the forest, with ducks walking, rabbits hurdling, and frogs jumping triple jumps. At the end, the snail crawled hard toward the finish line, cursing as it crawled: It was obviously a marathon, but you lied to me about a hundred meters!

7. The snail's mother said to the little snail, "My child, you are not young anymore. I will take you to the next village for a blind date tomorrow." The little snail asked in confusion, "Mom, Mom, I'm only 12 years old and haven't reached the legal age for marriage yet." Mother Snail said, you will be old enough when we get there.

8. To choose a king in the underwater kingdom, one must weigh 100 kilograms. The turtle wanted to participate in the election, but it only had 99 kilograms, so it asked the snail for help. The snail said: "I can help you, but when you become the king , I must be the prime minister." The turtle agreed. During the election, the snail was discovered, "What are you doing!?" The snail quibbled: "Don't get me wrong, I'm telling the turtle a story!"

9. On a Christmas Eve, Tom's parents still At work, little Tom is alone at home. Suddenly there was a rapid knock on the door. Little Tom was very surprised. Who is coming so late? He ran to the door and opened it, but there was no one outside. Little Tom was even more surprised, who was it? mischief? Hate! When he was about to close the door, he saw the snail on the ground. At this time, the snail said: "Please give me a bag of biscuits!" Tom was very angry. You bothered me and you want me to give you biscuits? Thinking of this, he kicked the snail into the garden and closed the door. Eight years later, it was another Christmas Eve, but Tom's parents were still working, and Tom was alone at home. This is when Tom remembered the snail from the past. Suddenly there was a rapid knock on the door. Tom ran to open the door, but there was no one. He looked down and saw the snail. He was about to say: "Do you want some cookies? I'll get them for you!" The snail spoke first: " Why did you kick me?"