Jokes about aunts

1. What I met on the subway today: There was a girl sitting next to me. She was quite pretty, but from the moment I got on the bus, I noticed that she seemed very nervous and kept the same posture all the time. I felt strange, but I didn't think much about it. Then at a certain station, as soon as the door opened, this woman rushed out of the door with lightning speed. When I reacted, I saw that the seat next to me was stained with blood! This is nothing, what's even more terrible is that an uncle came up later and sat down without even looking at it...

2. There is a week of exams this week, one subject per day, and yesterday I was already blind in one subject , anxious to save character~ It is said that the school suspends classes a week or two before the university final exam for review. At this time, the study rooms are usually full. That day I went to the study room. There were too many people, so I had no choice but to sit in a room with a boy, who was on the side of the road. The weather in Zhengzhou was nearly 40 degrees. I couldn't help it. Unfortunately, my aunt came that day and I always felt uncomfortable down there, so I had to go to the toilet frequently to check. But there was a boy next to me. How could I have the nerve to just take out the wsj? ? After much deliberation, I decided to go with my bag. So he saw me going out with my bag every once in a while, coming back two minutes later, and going out again after a while... I disturbed him every time I went... Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and said, how about we switch? Change your position? I didn’t know if my brain was flooded at the time, so I replied directly: No, if you change to WSJ later, I will have to make way for you... He was silent...

3. I just entered high school. They all require military training and are very cruel. I believe many people have experienced this feeling. We had only stood in military posture for 20 minutes when a little chubby guy couldn't stand it. His face was covered in sweat and he was panting... So he told the instructor to tell him that he couldn't stand it and that he needed to rest. The girl next to him saw that she was so good and asked for leave. After a while, he also told the instructor that I can't do it anymore. The instructor looked at him and said, "You're fine. Hold on." He didn't give up and told the instructor that my legs were broken. He was trembling, and a man in front of him interrupted and said, "My aunt is here, the instructor is here." When the instructor heard this, he got angry and said, "Why don't you just stand in a military position and say something!" The instructor asked the man to go to the side and do 50 ganfuchenbupa palms, and then told the woman that it was okay and continued to stand in a military posture. The woman got anxious one day and yelled, "Instructor, I'm not my aunt. I have dysmenorrhea today." . . . . . . . We were all speechless after hearing this. This woman is so tough

4. The salary is like a aunt: once a month, it will be gone in about a week.

Salary is like a big aunt: it disappears as soon as you get pregnant.

Salary is like an aunt: when you reach retirement age, it will be gone immediately!

Salary is like an aunt: if the time doesn’t come, I will panic!

Salary is like an aunt: it often doesn’t arrive on time!

Salary is like a big aunt: it feels like an increase when you save it, but it hurts when it goes out. . .

Salary is like an aunt: only you know how much it is.

5. There is a man riding a train. Suddenly a piece of paper flew into his face. He took the paper away. He said, "Huo, this paper is pretty powerful. It made me bleed!"

6. Two vampires went to a bar. A ordered a glass of blood and B ordered a glass of water. The waiter was puzzled. looked at him.

Without raising his head, B took out a used sanitary napkin from his pocket: "I'm drinking tea today!"

7. Speaking of Hua Mulan joining the army, one day Something happened during the war. I was secretly changing my pads when a shell suddenly hit me and I fainted. When I woke up and was already lying on the operating table, the doctor asked with concern: Are you okay? Mulan was very puzzled and said: What's wrong? I'm fine. . . "How can you call it okay? Your life was blown away and you're still okay?!" The doctor said, "But it doesn't matter now." Mulan asked: What do you mean? The doctor said proudly: I sewed it up for you.

8. A: Paying wages is like having an aunt come over. Once a month, it will be gone in a few days!

B: Do you want your aunt to come a few more times a month, or not leave once she comes?

9. The girlfriend had an accident and was in urgent need of a blood transfusion. The boyfriend stepped forward without hesitation and asked to donate blood to save his girlfriend’s life. One day, they broke up. The boyfriend angrily accused and asked the girl to return the original blood. The girl was furious. Throwing sanitary napkin in boyfriend's face: Pay in installments!

10. Several little boys pooled together more than ten yuan to buy toys.

“What can I buy with more than ten yuan?” one of them asked.

“I think we can go buy sanitary napkins,” answered another.

"What are the benefits of sanitary napkins?" Everyone asked him together.

“I’m not sure, but TV said that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball and skate, and be happy without worries.”

11. Physical education class in high school , a girl asked her physical education teacher for leave, saying that her aunt was here. The teacher let him go without saying anything.

A boy saw this and asked for leave. The teacher asked what he was doing. The boy replied that he was feeling the same as the girl.

Then he was slapped in the mouth by the teacher -_-

12. A man picked up Aladdin’s magic lamp. He wiped the lamp wall excitedly. Aladdin He flew out and said to him, "Dear Master, I can fulfill your three wishes." The man thought for a while and said, "I want to spend endless money," so he became the richest man in the world. He thought for a while and said, "I want a healthy body forever," so he became young and strong. Finally, he Said "I want to lie between the legs of a beautiful woman every day", so he turned into a sanitary napkin...

13. The mosquito and the mantis boasted.

The mosquito said: Look at those two bags on that person's chest.

Mantis said: Oh, forget it, I'll scratch her and she will bleed every month

14 , there was an explorer who was hiking through the desert with no water to drink. When he was about to die of thirst, a fairy came down to earth and handed him a cup of red liquid. The explorer drank it all in one gulp, still not satisfied, and asked: What else is there? The fairy replied helplessly: Next month.

15. The flies that live on human feces in the smelly toilet all day are very envious of the mosquitoes that live an elegant life by sucking human blood. One day, the fly died unexpectedly and met the King of Hell. In the Hall of the King of Hell, the King of Hell asked the fly what he wanted to be in the next life. The fly, which had always been looking forward to the life of a mosquito, suddenly couldn't remember what "mosquito" meant, so he described it: "Please, Your Majesty, turn me into a person with two wings, who can suck people by sucking people." Blood life thing!" As it wished, it became the now famous: double-winged sanitary napkin.

16. I am an actor and I love my job.

It was such a thin piece that I almost forgot it existed.

You can wash it after use and dry it in the sun; it can be used as a mask after drying it

If you like, you can use it to make black tea bags

17. On the other side of the mountain and on the other side of the sea

There is a group of aunts~~

They are unruly and willful~

They are naughty and sensitive~

They live freely there

The little red darkroom!

They come and go freely and never regularly~~

Oh~~~Dear aunt~

Oh~~~Dear aunt~

p>

Their underwear was stained by the rushing water of the sea

!

They come as soon as they like, they are evil and sinister~~

18. There is a classmate in junior high school

My aunt just came here in the first year of junior high school

While wiping the blackboard

Two boys asked: xxx, why is there a puddle of soy sauce on your butt~

19. One day, condoms and sanitary napkins were chatting together about contraception. The condom said to the sanitary napkin: Sister, don’t go to work. Once you go to work, I will have no business for seven days.

After listening to the sanitary napkin, he said to the condom: Just be satisfied, if you

leak, I will be out of work for ten months!

20. A teacher once described a devilish student like this: like an aunt, she is disgusting when she comes, but worried when she does not come

21. Signed by a netizen : There are always a few days every month when people are slanderous

Original slogan: Dove sanitary napkins, in fact, you can also choose sweetness.

Dove sanitary napkins, milky fragrance, silky feeling

22. You can’t afford to hurt girls who only like to use the seven-dimensional space. They are angels with broken wings in the previous life; if If men treat them badly, they will make him become their sanitary napkin in the next life

23. A couple.

Male: Let’s go out to eat today.

Female: No.

Male: Why?

Female: My aunt is here...

Male: Damn, this is an economic crisis, how dare your aunt come to help you? !

24. Why do men have so much pleasure every month? Women only have pain once a month! !

25. I went to a friend’s house and asked him for tissues

He responded for a long time

Bring me a pack of sanitary napkins and said that luckily my ex-girlfriend stayed here.

Hope to adopt, thank you