Does anyone know the lines of Zhao Benshan's sketch "Planning"? Send it to me if you have it. Thank you.

Dong Qing: Please welcome the sketch "Planning" brought to us by Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan.

Song Dandan: Daughter-in-law, we have a guest, just two hard dishes. You're done here. Where is it on?

Niu: All local stations are broadcasting.

Song Dandan: The local channel is good. Don't put it on CCTV. Not reliable. (Laughter). When he came back from CCTV last year, that guy recited words all the way. Why did he have to pay for it? (Laughter).

Niu: Aunt will take a picture of you.

Song Dandan: I won't take a photo with him.

Cattle: Let me take a photo with you.

Song Dandan: Let's take a picture together, or people will think we are divorced again.

Song Dandan: Old man, old black (Zhao Benshan comes out from the right side of the stage and applauds warmly).

Cattle: Hello, audience friends. Now standing behind us are two celebrities, Baiyun and Heitu. Not long ago, a great miracle happened in their family. Their rooster really laid eggs.

(Zhao Benshan runs, Song Dandan follows)

Zhao Benshan: You old woman's mouth is like a cotton trousers waist!

Song Dandan: What's the matter?

Zhao Benshan: So loose!

Zhao Benshan: the rooster lay eggs happened in our house. That doesn't mean telling people I'm pregnant. (Laughter).

Song Dandan: I counted one, two. ...

Zhao Benshan: You've been counting one, two, three all your life.

Song Dandan: I said from the beginning that you should cooperate.

Niu: Come on, let's start recording.

Zhao Benshan: Last time I published a book, I still owed someone 20,000 yuan.

Scalper: (paying) This is the prepaid labor fee.

Song Dandan: If you want to know more, please log on to Baiyun Piaodian blog site com.

Niuqun: Why did Auntie start a blog?

Song Dandan: Now celebrities publish books.

Niu: Did Aunt the rooster lay eggs have any signs before?

Zhao Benshan: No sign.

Song Dandan: There are signs, there are signs, how can there be no signs? To say that chickens do have signs before laying eggs, and the signs are obvious, the most important thing is the change of facial expression.

Zhao Benshan: The chicken laughed first. (Laughter).

Niu: (Laughter) Please describe in detail what happened before the chicken laid eggs.

Zhao Benshan: There were no signs at that time. It was impossible-this chicken was particularly contradictory at that time. A rooster must lay eggs, but this is not his job. What is the rooster thinking? What does the duck think? What does the goose think? What does the little hen who has been with it think? What do people call a rooster when it hatches a chick? Call dad, call mom, or call aunt, call aunt? I can't lay eggs, but I'm scared, so ...

Song Dandan: It has strengthened its faith and laid its own eggs. Let others talk about it.

Niu: Uncle and aunt, where did it lay its eggs?

Song Dandan: I'm asking you, where did it go?

Zhao Benshan: He was under a lot of pressure. Sorry, he just strolled to the henhouse, but he couldn't. I'm in the duck cage again. I can't do it. Then I couldn't hold it any longer, so I found a kennel and laid eggs.

Bull: Dog kennel? How did you find out?

Song Dandan: It was discovered by paparazzi. In the past, the chicken aisle stood tall and majestic; Since the birth of a male egg, the walkway has been changed to this (starting to imitate the rooster walkway). Chicken feet can be scratched vigorously. I didn't understand it at first, but I recovered after studying for a long time. People are practicing their signatures.

Cow: Uncle and aunt, where are the eggs laid by the rooster?

Zhao Benshan: Yes.

Niu: Are there any side effects?

Zhao Benshan: Yes, it tastes just like ordinary food.

Song Dandan: Nonsense. Although it can't be said that it can cure all diseases, the effect is different. Many elderly people are troubled by the sequelae of cerebral hemorrhage. My wife got sequelae of cerebral hemorrhage last year. Before he ate male eggs, the corridor was like this (Zhao Benshan was dragged to perform and Zhao Zhi was in a daze). After eating, that guy, after reading it, it becomes like this (Zhao Benshan falls to the ground).

Niu: What's the matter? What is this?

Song Dandan: No, no. Turn this paragraph upside down. (Urging Zhao Benshan to wait on him)

Niu: We also want to ask my aunt to make an image endorsement for the male egg.

Song Dandan: That's no problem.

Scalper: Then let's sign a contract. This 20 thousand yuan is the labor fee. If you default, you will have to go to double indemnity.

Song Dandan: Oh, no problem. Ten times the compensation will do.

Scalper: This is endorsement. Please ask uncle to bring the chicken.

Song Dandan (watching carefully): Gee, this guy is so talented, just two sentences, quite concise. The rooster that lays eggs, the fighter in the rooster! Oh-

Zhao Benshan came on stage and told Song Dandan that the chicken was gone.

Song: Where did it go?

Zhao: Pointing to the dish basin on the table, my wife stewed it. (Song fainted at that time)

Zhao: Wife, what's the matter with you?

Song: It's over. Our famine is now 40,000!

Zhao: Wife, Xiaoyun, baby, stop crying! I am here. What's going on here?

Niu: Auntie, what's the matter?

Zhao: The chicken is gone!

Niu: Uncle, don't be so joking. Just signed a contract with my aunt, and the endorsement fee is 20 thousand. The contract will come into effect as soon as I sign it. If I can't buy this chicken, I will have to pay 40 thousand pounds.

(Zhao is silly, Song Dandan continues to cry)

Zhao: What are you doing? What about crowing?

Niu: Then tell me where the chicken is.

Zhao: I slept for a while.

Niu: Still taking a nap?

Zhao: This chicken has been jet lagged since it became famous. How much can this chicken be worth?

Niu: Uncle, to tell you the truth, this chicken was originally worthless, but after my hype, it will be worth a lot of money after being fried. Frying, boiling and stewing are all valuable!

Zhao: You mean it is valuable whether you are alive or dead?

Niu: That's right.

Song: Oh, old man, you are so talented.

Zhao: For example, if this famous chicken dies, can this meat be valuable?

Niu: Right.

Zhao Benshan: How much is the meat worth?

Niu: Let's talk about this together. You have no right to eat until you get two thousand.

Zhao: What about the chicken heart?

Bull: Four thousand.

Zhao: Chicken liver?

Niu: Six thousand.

Zhao: Chicken kidney?

Niu: Eight thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Yes, that's enough. You can't hold it, but you can take it. You can take this 20,000 yuan back, or you can eat here, just like I treat you to a 20,000 yuan dinner.

Song (Resurrection): Wife, you are so talented.