Philosophical funny talk on WeChat: If you are a lemon, you shouldn’t always stare at the watermelon

1. The happiest thing for a man is when his wife gives birth to his own child. . . . .

2. In a country where shit defeats beetles, only by selling shit can you be successful.

4. Sometimes I am as optimistic as shit, always thinking that I can shake the world.

5. The four major evils of the new era are Toyota chassis, developers’ real estate, stock market and ex-boyfriend’s hard drive.

6. With a heart full of love, all beauties in the world are lovers.

7. I don’t need a reason to like you, and everything is a reason to dislike you.

8. Only women and heroes have trouble, only wives and jobs are hard to find.

9. As the saying goes: Double happiness comes to your door; but as the saying goes: Happiness never comes in pairs, misfortune never comes alone!

10. The only liar in the world is sincere, because he sincerely lies to you!

11. If I were a princess, I would save a frog, but all I met were toads.

12. If you are a lemon, you should not always stare at the sweetness of watermelon.

13. If fate grabs your throat, scratch its armpits.

14. Is it sad to feel cool when people leave? Not sentimental! What's really sad is: when the person left, he also took away my teacup.

15. People are like grains of sand, burying each other. In the end, they all come out and become a loose sand!

16. Money is like water. If you don’t have a little, you will die of thirst. If you have too much, you will drown.

17. In fact, people’s looks can be divided into two categories: one is naturally beautiful; the other is naturally inspirational.

18. A beautiful woman is like a handicraft placed in a showcase. There are many people who appreciate it, but only one person can buy it.

19. Are you a contact lens wearer? Why should I take you seriously?

20. Yesterday was a discarded check, tomorrow is a deposit that has not yet matured, and only today is the cash you can control. Maybe I am really a pig, a pig that can’t eat but can sleep

1. The world belongs to us and our sons, but ultimately it belongs to those grandsons.

2. If I can open cheats, I really want to express my sincerity

3. Like a child, huddled in a lonely corner. Waiting for you to say: I love you

4. If the sky is no longer blue, will the clouds be different?

5. I can’t let anyone be my whole life, I can’t sink deeper and deeper, I can’t continue like this, I can’t miss you every day

6. You are the one who makes me I want eternal love.

7. You say you don’t love me anymore, but can you really let go?

8. Come to me when you have something to do, come to me when you have nothing to do

9. I have you for a limited time

10. Maybe I am really a pig. A pig that can't eat but can sleep.

11. No matter hypocrisy, no matter what reality, it is still alive. 1. It’s good if you can cry. Crying is a sign of recovery!

12. It’s none of your business that I like you. If you have the ability, you can also like me and give it a try.

13. The reason why women age quickly is because men always say that their wives are yellow-faced! ~~

14. Don’t leave me and run away.

15. Many things are always like this. When you want to look for it, you find that it has disappeared

< p> 16. I only love people who love me, because I don’t know how to love someone who doesn’t love me, and I don’t know where to start.

17. No matter who he is, no matter how he behaves, as long as it is beneficial to us, we should find a way to let him do things for us!

18. I take myself too seriously. It's okay or you don't take me seriously

19. Draw a smiling face that belongs to you and put it into the story that is always finished and slowly settles.

20. Every time I need someone to accompany me, I realize that some people cannot be found, some people should not be found, and some people cannot be found.

If you are money and I am a bankbook, I will definitely take (marry) you - Classic Funny Story

If a drop of water falls from the sky, it is the tears I shed because of missing you; if two drops of water fall from the sky , that’s because I love you and am intoxicated; if countless drops of water fall from the sky, that’s... Stop thinking about it, it’s raining

Don’t panic when you meet a dog on the road, be brave Fighting with it will have at most three outcomes: first, if you win, you are better than a dog; second, if you lose, you are not even as good as a dog; third, if you draw, you are just like a dog.

Do you know why we are destined? We met as early as a thousand years ago. It was autumn, and you ran with me in the wind, leaving tooth marks on my body. This incident has become an eternal legend. . At that time, my name was Lu Dongbin.

Late at night, the Boeing 737 pilot came home and knocked on the door. The wife asked: Who? The pilot said humorously: 737 requested to land! Suddenly a man in the room shouted: Got it, the 777 will take off immediately and make room for you

Without flowers, spring will be lonely. Without passion, the Four Seasons will be mediocre. Without me, you will lose the person who cares about you the most! Without you, Little Rabbit will ask: "Who should I race with?"

You I am from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I am from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your plush hand! Love makes us walk upright

Wife, thank you for the flowers you sent me. I will look forward to your wedding anniversary when it comes. , I’ll give you a bunch too.

If I hold seven apples in my left hand and eight apples in my right hand, then it can be concluded that I have... a pair of big hands.

Those who have a heart are powerless, those who have strength have no money, those who have money are heartless, those who have feelings have no fate, those who have fate have no separation, and those who have separation are getting divorced.

You cannot add water to milk, but you can add milk to water; you cannot smoke when praying, but you can pray when smoking.

Pig is a very useful animal. The pork can be eaten, the bristles can be used as brushes, the pig skin can be used as leather products, and the name can also be used to curse people.

My wife said that I had paranoid tendencies, so she took me to see a psychiatrist. I gave the doctor a dozen suggestions on how to decorate the office, but the stubborn donkey didn't listen at all.

I am very restrained in drinking. Before I drink, I will mark a mark on the cup, and then I will not drink a drop more after the wine in the bottle is level with the mark. What’s more, Many times, I stop drinking before I reach the limit.

I used to have everything: status, money, beauty...but my wife found out... When I was a child, I had to smoke behind my father's back, and when I grew up, I had to smoke while hiding from my son.

I never eat duck tongue. The thing taken out of the duck's mouth is so dirty. I want to eat scrambled eggs.

A bean fell down and became discouraged and depressed. This bean is me. What can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement (Chocolate) Bean".

You and I are both single-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world just to find you. After all the hard work to find you, I found: Oh my god! Our wings are aligned.

If I were a fox and you were a hunter, you would chase me. ? If I were tea leaves and you were boiling water, would you make me a cup? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive (marry) me? If you were money and I was a bankbook, I would definitely take (marry) you. . I want to talk about an ostrich

I want to be quiet, listen to the sound of raindrops falling outside the window, and no longer worry about whether there will be unsolvable mysteries tomorrow! Just lie down quietly and don't worry about those unfulfilled expectations! Be a low-key ostrich, bury myself in the corner of this uneasy world, and let others forget me, just like an exiled soul with no hope of finding its true self!

I want to talk about being an ostrich

1. Today is January 29, 20xx, the second day of the Lunar New Year. My animal year is the Year of the Rooster. Although it is Chinese New Year, I am really unhappy. I may have had a holiday. I feel so tired. Everything could have been fine, but something so embarrassing happened. I want to choose amnesia. I want to be an ostrich, an ostrich that doesn’t have to face anyone. I hope everything can get better.

I want to cry, I really want to cry.

2. If there is a next life: I want to be an ostrich. When hungry, it comes out to look for food. When sleepy, it goes to sleep. When in danger, bury its head deeply. This way, life will be peaceful. It feels a lot better!

3. I have imagined and planned my future countless times, but I never thought it would be like this! Too much expectation and beauty brings endless pain! I don’t dare to think about it, and I can’t think about it. I want to be an ostrich and bury myself!

4. Actually, I want to say that I don’t want to be an ostrich, I want to follow my inner thoughts.

5. I want to be a happy ostrich. Dip your head in the sand and bask in the warm sunshine. In this way, you are melted and melted.

6. A friend asked me why I was missing while playing. I didn’t. I just wanted to be an ostrich who could stick my head in the soil and watch and listen to nothing.

7. I want to be an ostrich completely, but it’s really annoying to have to do some parts over and over again.

8. When I am frustrated, cannot write a manuscript, when my mind goes blank, I hope I can face the difficulties instead of being an ostrich. I take this screenshot every time I don’t want to write a manuscript and look at it to encourage myself. I think I can do it anytime, right?

9. I want to be a little strong guy who can’t afford to fight, but I’m really too tired and don’t want to move. I just want to find a quiet place where I don’t know anyone, so I can hide and be an ostrich quietly

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10. I want to be an ostrich, no matter what, I move forward with my head covered, and then say domineeringly: It doesn’t matter who you are, it has nothing to do with me

11. Feeling that my vitality is greatly weakened I want to block everything and be an ostrich head escaping in the dirt which is shameful but useful.

12. The reality is too cruel. I want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand.

13. This carnival is very charming, especially interesting. Many rock music bands look great. I believe it will be very crazy in such a rock world. I want to stick my head in the sand. , be a quiet ostrich, there are too many emotions involved in rock and roll, I like rock and roll

14. I want to be an ostrich, bury my head in the sand, pretend not to know anything, pretend Nothing happened. If you can find me, I hope you can hug me and give me a lot of love and security. I will thrive, become warmer and more mature, and become the best in the world, yours. Little girl

15. Sometimes the Japanese server will be stuck on mute. I have to click in again before there will be sound. I refreshed the book at noon and there was no sound. I didn’t care. I just clicked in and then the office was silent. There was a huge hearty laughter of Heizhen. I want to be an ostrich...

16. Never mention those unpleasant topics to me, I want to be an ostrich< /p>

17. I have never felt so tired, so powerless. I think I am really old and it’s time to be an ostrich...

18. The secular world is so powerful. , so powerful that I can’t think of changing them and wait for you to grow up. At this moment, I just want to be an ostrich with my head stuck in the soft sand. I don’t know the world and don’t have to face and solve what is going to happen next. Even if it's a lunatic waiting for a sedative, that's fine. If possible, I would like to write a resignation letter with only a title and go wandering happily.

19. Escape does not solve the problem, but I want to be an ostrich.

20. What you don’t get is always in turmoil, and those who are favored are confident. I really don’t want to think about the future. I just want to live in the present and always be an ostrich. But you have even broken the shell that I have been hiding in now.

21. I want to go far away again. I used to feel brave and strong, but in my heart I just want to be an ostrich. I want to see Meili and go to high altitudes. Where you feel the difficulty of breathing, go and see your old self, the brave girl you once were.

22. I envy those excellent rock singers for their ability to stick to China. I want to stick to Chinese music and stick my head in the sand. I want to be a quiet ostrich and a professional. Music, you must not miss this music feast. Zheng Jun also came to the scene to bring us music. I really like music. I hope it can be held well.

It must be great to hold a rock concert in the vast Gobi Desert

23. In fact, many troubles are caused by comparison. I want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand when I encounter difficulties. Can't see or hear. My biggest wish now is that my son can pass the high school entrance examination. If he fails, I will not go home to celebrate the New Year this year, so as not to be angry with a bunch of irrelevant people when I come back every year.

24. I want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the beach. Regardless

Twenty-five, I have been unwilling to face some facts for a year. I like to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand. I feel that if I don’t face it, it will be gone. In fact, it has always been It's all here, I think I should see it clearly, life is already so painful, it doesn't matter how much more it is, anyway, I can tolerate it, so let's face it, face the fact that you don't love me.

26. Maybe when life reaches a certain point, you will change unknowingly. I want to be an ostrich in the desert. Whenever I hear something that makes me unhappy, I bury my head in the desert, pretend that I can't hear or see, and immerse myself in the beautiful world of my own fantasy.

27. They have been creating seriously. I want to stick my head in the sand and become a quiet ostrich in the Gobi Desert, singing wildly. I feel very excited just thinking about it. Just watch it and it will be great immediately. Rock music also belongs to my generation of youth. I really like listening to the songs of Buyi Band. I like that they have always loved rock music and have been supporting them on their way.

28. Sometimes, I push myself so hard that I don’t know how to express myself! Sometimes, you take yourself too seriously! Faced with everything, why bother forcing yourself to be like this? But you never understand! When facing reality, I wanted to be an ostrich, but I was forced to become a hedgehog! Who doesn’t want to be softer? You are really tired, aren’t you? My dear Miss Li, stop and be kind to yourself

29. I want to be an ostrich and bury myself. I don’t want to know anything or anything. Don't want to face it.

Thirty. There is helplessness in life, but every time the sun lights up the sky, you have to face reality. I want to be an ostrich and take time to avoid those mortal past

< p> 31. I must be sick. Every few days I feel so sad that I want to cry. Even though I am not happy, I still have to do things like smile at others. I hate this kind of thing. I want to be an ostrich.

32. I think I want to make it clear that asking for trouble and being an ostrich avoiding problems are not solutions to problems.