Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Yang's son's comprehensive study

Yang's son's comprehensive study

"The grass is resting, please don't disturb!"

"Green grass, she wants to be quiet!"

"Tap water comes uninvited, and bits and pieces are all money!"

"Come and go in a hurry."

"Novices are on the road, please take care."

"Don't kiss me."

Traffic safety: fasten your seat belt, and do not copy.

Beauty salon: Please don't flirt with the lady who came out of our hospital. She may be your grandmother.

Travel: Please fly to the Arctic for your honeymoon, where the night lasts for 24 hours.

Siemens: Our maintenance personnel all over the world are annoyed.

Printing company: printing everything except banknotes.

Adhesive: It can bond everything except a broken heart.

Tire: Work hard, as long as there is breath.

Car: Its only drawback is that when running at a speed of 100 km, you can still hear every word your mother-in-law nags in the back seat.

Toothbrush: penniless

Stinky Tofu in Wang Zhihe: It has a long history.

Traffic safety: "What are you doing? Drive to 80 years old at a speed of 40 kilometers per hour, or vice versa? "

"You can drive a car at a speed of no more than 30 miles per hour and enjoy the beautiful scenery of the city; More than 60 miles, please visit the court; More than 80 miles, welcome to visit the latest hospital in this city; 100 Li, may you rest in peace.

"Drive slowly, we are already very busy!

-Coffin manufacturer "

"You can drive a car at a speed of no more than 30 miles per hour and enjoy the beautiful scenery of the city; More than 60 miles, please visit the court; More than 80 miles, welcome to visit the latest hospital in this city; 100, please rest in peace. "

1. Environmental protection and civilization every day.

2. Greening the campus and educating people.

3. How beautiful the trees are, they are littered.

It's a pity to step on the green grass.

Only having a heart that loves life can evoke green feelings.

6. The school is my home, cleaning depends on everyone, and the walls have been put on new clothes. Please cherish.

7. You have a beautiful smile, it's good not to go to school, and your health is great.

8. School is a home, and everyone loves it.

9. Throwing garbage once will cast a layer of dust on your mind, and picking up garbage once will add a piece of pure land to your mind.

10. Politeness makes you elegant, helping others makes you happy, and modesty makes you add virtue.

Show your elegance in the corridor and your majestic posture in the playground.

Line up like a wild goose and walk gently like a kitten.

Don't run, don't jump, don't hit, lean to the right.

Cherish the water of life and "live" bit by bit.

Go up and down the stairs, and then go right. I'll let you go easily.

It is better to walk like an elephant than to jump like a monkey; Don't swim around like a snake, be civilized.

Go to the right.

The grass smiles slightly, please walk around.

Attention, everyone here sees your every move. (corridor)

I left quietly, just as I came gently. (Library)

Please take a close shot. (trash can)

Be gentle, don't cry, wipe away your tears.

You are the most beautiful when you smile, the best when you study and the best when you are healthy!

You wave your sleeves and don't take away a cloud. I took a step without leaving any paper.

Feet don't run, grass laughs.

Let Xiao Shu grow up happily with us!

The city belongs to you and the green color belongs to you.

Green plants are our babies, and babies need us to love them.

Do you love life? Please take care of beautiful flowers and plants!

Go easy on me and leave a scar under your feet.

Green grass, how can you stand it!

Don't take anything away except your memory.

Don't leave anything but your smiling face;

The grass is growing, please don't disturb it.

How lovely the little flower is. Please don't hurt it.

For your health and mine, please take good care of the trees.

A flower, a grass and a tree, and look, love and protect.

Thank you for your concern. I will grow up healthily.

The grass smiles slightly, please go around.

Flowers in front of you are like brocade, and grass under your feet is shaded.

Every brick and tile is history, and every grass and tree is always related to love.

The softness of the wind and the shade of the trees; The grass dances because of you.

When you step on it, the flowers shed tears, but when you step on it, the grass makes you worry-love the flowers and plants.

Flowers and trees smile because of your love.

Take off me, I belong to your moment; Keep me, I will become everyone's eternity!

A flower, a world, a grass and a love, everything has spirit!

Green grass, leisurely close my heart.

The tree is green and the earth has a pulse.

Don't take anything away except photos; There was nothing left but footprints.

The earth is my home, greening everyone.

Every flower and grass is life, and a leaf is always related to love.

Give you a fragrance when you come, and leave me alone.

The grass has life, and the first step is more "green".

The grass smiles at you. Please make a detour.

I can't help but bring spring scenery into my home.

I am a bird, flying all the time, not high.

1+ 1 = 2, a tree+a tree = a forest.

Green is the true color of the earth.

The earth is my home, greening everyone.

Protecting trees is protecting yourself.

Fragrance comes from flowers, beauty needs your care.

Green-the source of life.

It's a pity to step on the green carpet, but why not take a few more steps?

Red flowers and green grass are planted all over the garden, and the wind comes when flowers deliver vegetables.

If you want to enjoy flowers, you must enjoy them directly. Don't fold flowers and enjoy branches.

Laugh in the flowers and enjoy its appearance outside the garden.

I bloom for your beautiful heart.

The life of the flowers you take away is short, but the beauty you leave behind is eternal.

I hope you don't open your hands, flowers also have their own tears.

Forests are factories that make oxygen.

Vegetation is green, flowers are smiling, the air is fresh and the environment is good.

Give you a fragrance when you come, and leave me alone.

Plant a tree and a flower, and the world will be better.

The grass is lovely and everyone likes it.

Distance produces beauty, but close contact declines.

Take a detour of three or five steps and leave the grass green.

Flowers and plants also have life, please be merciful.

How can the grass bear it?

Feet don't run, grass laughs.

Let Xiao Shu grow up happily with us!

The grass belongs to you, and so does the green.

Green plants are our babies, and babies need us to love them.

Do you like our campus? Please take care of beautiful flowers and plants!

How beautiful the green grass is, the children's behavior is more beautiful.

Please take good care of flowers and trees, it will give you a green life!

May green be with us!

Don't take anything away except your memory.

Don't leave anything but your smiling face;

We grow up with the little tree!

Don't step on the grass!

The grass is growing, please don't disturb it.

How lovely the little flower is. Please don't hurt it.

For your health and mine, please take good care of the trees.

Go easy on me and leave a scar under your feet.

Don't take away today's green for tomorrow.

Green grass, green flowers in full bloom, butterflies love flowers to protect grass.

Picturesque, we are the people in the picture.

Blue waves cruise, fish play in the lotus leaves; Love lotus doesn't pick lotus, but people like fishing.

Take care of public property and enjoy flowers and people; Cleanliness becomes a habit and cleanliness is safe and healthy.

You can't be happy if you don't spit quickly. If you spit, everyone will be unhappy.

It's rude to spit it out. Don't leave gum fragrant everywhere.

Everyone praised him for his amazing language, and it was annoying to spit.

Spitting encourages the growth of bacteria.

"Phlegm" is appropriate, starting with me.

Make your expectoration as elegant as your speech.

The life of the flowers you take away is short, but the beauty you leave behind is eternal.

Please leave "green" under your feet.

The battery said: I am laid off, give me another job opportunity!

I can put dirty things in my stomach, said the trash can.

The park chair said, I want to know the next person.

Green mountains and green waters, flowers overflowing, you come to watch my heart;

Beautiful scenery is everywhere in your mind. Don't throw rubbish everywhere.

The dustbin said that what you threw away was exactly what I needed.

I'm a cleaner, and you're an emissary of civilization.

Into the embrace of nature, please don't get her beautiful clothes dirty.

Take away good memories and leave a good heart.

Please don't fold the flowers when you are on the road.

Children and teenagers like playing football;

This is not a playground. Protecting the grass is the responsibility.

Motherland, city, home, three flowers in my heart;

The picturesque environment depends on you, me and him.

It's hard for you to raise your knife and throw your arm, and it hurts me.

Cultural relics witness history, and scratches leave no teeth.

I like your affectionate gaze, and hate to express my unforgettable feelings with a knife.

Nothing was left but footprints, and nothing was taken away except the beauty of photos.

Thank you for your love, I will never forget it-said the grass.

This is also my beloved home, which is convenient for me to forget that I am a member of the family.

I like flowers, I like grass and I like green saplings.

Don't pick flowers, step on grass, break branches and sway.

Flowers and trees are friends, and everyone should love them.

Aishan love the water loves forests, birds and human beings to protect the sky, land, flowers and plants and the environment.

Plant a green sky with our hands and watch colorful homes with our hearts.

Trees are born in shade, grass is born in flowers, and flowers bloom all the year round. The mountains turned green, the water became clear, the birds sang and greeted the breeze in all directions.

Birds are singing and flowers are everywhere. Life is full of sunshine.

Take care of flowers and trees and protect the environment.

Establish environmental awareness and build a green and civilized home

Protect your home with actions and water the earth with blood.

Protect clear water and blue sky and build a green home.

Living on the earth under the blue sky-make our world better.

Green grass, green seedlings, everyone protects flowers and plants.

Flowers and plants benefit people and everyone protects them.

Flowers and trees check our life, and we should cherish them.

Flowers and trees I love you, you are my good friend.

Flowers and trees are good friends of human beings, please cherish them!

Xiaoshu Xiaoshu, I want to be your guard, and I won't let anyone damage your branches or your body.

I'm thirsty, please help me water it!

I need sunshine and moisture, and I need your care and love more.

Xiaohua, you are so beautiful. You beautify the environment and make us happy. Little tree, little tree, you are so cute. You purify the air and make us healthy.

The grass is green and the feet are kind.

Let's start with protecting natural resources and cherish everything around us.

Take care of flowers and trees. If you don't climb, you won't hurt.

Caring for flowers and trees is everyone's responsibility.

Love flowers and plants and life.

Caring for flowers and trees, I add green to the campus.

Take good care of flowers and trees, with less pollution in clear water and blue sky.

The sky is bluer, the trees are greener, the water is cleaner and the house is better. 、

Plant a tree to prevent birds from leaving their homes.

Protect a river and green water and let the fish return to their hometown.

Every grass and tree needs your care!

Feet don't run, grass laughs.

Let Xiao Shu grow up happily with us!

The city belongs to you and the green color belongs to you.

Green plants are our babies, and babies need us to love them.

Do you love life? Please take care of beautiful flowers and plants!

How beautiful the green grass is, the children's behavior is more beautiful.

Please take good care of flowers and trees, it will give you green life!

May green be with us!

Green grass, how can you stand it!

Don't take anything away except your memory.

Don't leave anything but your smiling face;

We grow up with the little tree!

Don't step on the grass!

The grass is growing, please don't disturb it.

How lovely the little flower is. Please don't hurt it.

For your health and mine, please take good care of the trees.

Go easy on me and leave a scar under your feet.

1. Grass is resting, please don't disturb! 2. The grass smiles at you, please return its love! Please take care of flowers and trees! Be proud of caring for the environment, and flowers will bloom for you! 5. Please show mercy to the grass.

Huang Hong's sketch decorative lines

Gong Hanlin: (on. (Holding a paint bucket) Hey! Dear audience friends, Happy New Year!

Gong: Ouch! I bought a new house in the Year of the Rooster and was busy decorating it. The decoration procedure is the same, every household hits the wall first! (walks to the door) Well, here comes my new house. Please drop in after the renovation. (Put down the paint bucket. Take a look, the door of the new house is beautiful! (Open the door) Oh, look at this door panel, look at this door lock, (hard) look at ... look at ... you ... (show the key) Oh, this security door is so good now that you can't even poke the key of your own house! (Shouting) Huang sledgehammer!

Huang Hong: (top) Hey, I'm coming! The east wind blows and the drums beat, and the decoration cannot be separated from the yellow sledgehammer. Hit this and hit that. I can hit whoever I want. (Shouting) Big Brother!

Gong: Alas.

Huang: Who are you hitting?

Gong: Knock!

Huang: Spike ...? Brother, isn't it a pity that the good door was smashed?

Gong: Oh, you have to change the door after decorating the house anyway.

Huang: Why should we change doors?

Gong: Think about it: I want you to decorate. Should I give you this key?

Huang: Hmm.

Gong: Why don't you bring this key with you every day?

Huang: Then we must come!

Gong: You can walk smoothly in a month or two. When the house is decorated, you can come again when there is no one in our house!

Huang: What do you mean?

Gong: Oh, why don't you understand? To put it bluntly, changing the door is not to prevent thieves, but mainly to prevent you from decorating.

Huang: How can you talk like that? Huh? (brandishing a hammer, threatening) Is the decoration degrading? It won't be decorated either. Do I need a key to enter this door?

Gong: (in fear) You, you, you just ...

Huang: (slamming the door) Do you still use the key? Aren't you coming in? Tell me about it.

(Huang enters the door. Gong picked up the paint bucket and followed. )

Gong: (scared) I'm sorry. ...

Huang: The key to not talking like this is!

Gong: Oh, no, no,no. Tell you what: Take this off and I'll give it to you.

Huang: Sorry, the last thing we need in rural areas is security doors.

Gong: Why?

Huang: Every family has a dog. I'm not bragging to you. My good dog is equal to your five security guards. ...

Gong: Huh? !

Huang: The baton in his hand.

Gong: Alas, you startled me!

(Huang and Gong enter the room. Gong puts down the paint bucket)

Gong: Look at our new house.

Huang: It's quite spacious.

Gong: Ouch! Not in the past. I used to live in a house with a square meter in Siping. Air leaks in winter and rain leaks in summer. Three people live in the same bed, and the children always squeeze into the middle. I want to make out with my wife at night, and the conditions are not allowed at all. (shyly) Hehehe!

Huang: (laughs) Of course. If you read this article, you will know that you once lived in a very narrow place.

Gong: (angrily) Hi! You mean my figure was cut off?

Huang: It matters! Your family is like raising livestock in our countryside!

Gong: Huh?

Huang: The shed is not long, and the small circle is not fat. Now that the house is big, all the children are taller than their parents.

Gong: Nonsense!

Huang: What nonsense?

Gong: Height has nothing to do with the height of the house.

Huang: How can he be all right?

Gong: Then let me ask you!

Huang: You said.

Gong: Is Yao Minggao?

Huang: High.

Gong: Does it have anything to do with their house?

Huang: It says on the Internet that the house of basketball superstar Yao Ming has no roof; Pan Changjiang's house is like a water tank. Look what you did to the child.

Gong: (laughs) Ha ha ha! You are so humorous! (Lift the lid of the paint bucket)

Huang: I think you are more interesting.

Gong: What's wrong?

Huang: You said you had to buy a bucket of paint yourself?

Gong: Of course! Decoration is to carry forward the spirit of "four fears".

Huang: "Four not afraid"?

Gong: I am not afraid of trouble, hard work, rework and anger. In order to prevent the contractor from cheating you, I will take a taxi to buy a small screw, which is cheap!

Huang: How much is a screw?

Gong: (seriously) A dime!

Huang: What about the taxi fare?

Gong: Seventy-seven!

Huang: (to the audience) This head was kicked by our rural donkey! I tell you, according to what you said, there are "four basic results".

Gong: What?

Huang: That is, the family is basically destroyed, the body is basically hurt, life is basically chaotic, and the husband and wife are basically stiff.

Gong: Oh, I feel the same way! (shaking hands)

Huang: Yes!

Gong: My wife has been quarreling with me every day since I started decorating. During the day, quarrel with your coolies; Quarrel with your husband at night!

Huang: Then you have to make it clear to your sister-in-law that you can treat your husband as a coolie during the day and never treat us as husbands at night!

Gong: I see ... (Let go. You used me, didn't you?

Huang: We don't work overtime at night.

Gong: What a nuisance! (walks to a wall) Come and have a look. I'm going to install a 56-inch rear projection in this place, which is a little close.

Huang: It's a little close.

Gong: First of all, smash this wall ... (mark it)!

Huang: Big Brother, no problem! This is the wall! (Approaching the wall) Stop it ... (Looking behind the wall) Dude, you can't smash this wall.

Gong: Why?

Huang: Behind this is the toilet!

Gong: Why can't the toilet be smashed?

Huang: Think about it. The TV is in the front and the toilet is in the back. If you need convenience, won't it be broadcast live?

(Huang and Gong go to the middle)

Gong: Why don't you know anything about romance?

Huang: Why don't I understand romance?

Gong: Do you think this toilet is for convenience?

Huang: I don't understand what else this toilet can do.

Gong: You can take a bath. You can take a bath. Think about it (sitting on a paint bucket according to Huangshi). If you sit here and watch TV (twist your yellow head to the wall), my wife will sit there and take a shower. ...

Huang: Then I'm not in the mood to watch TV. I ...

Gong: (pushing Huang away) (angrily) I'm sitting here watching!

Huang: What should I do?

Gong: smash the wall!

Huang: Broken wall! Brother, (warming up) I'm on the sledgehammer!

Gong: Hurry up! (Huang is about to hit) Stop!

Huang: (emergency stop) eldest brother, you say.

Gong: I haven't talked about salary yet.

Huang: Oh, the price of that hammer varies from hammer to hammer. Forty small hammers and eighty big hammers.

Gong: (surprised) This has doubled?

Huang: Big Brother, the sledgehammer is equivalent to a big shot. The appearance fee for this weight must be high.

Gong: Hehe, eighty is eighty!

Huang: Thank you, Big Brother, you are eighty! Thank you, big brother! (walks to the wall) Shit!

Gong: smash!

Huang: (shouting while smashing) Eight! Ten! Eight! Tongtenuto

Gong: (eagerly) Stop!

Huang: (Emergency stop. Oh, big brother! When swinging a hammer, it is most taboo to shout stop, which is easy to highlight the lumbar disc!

Gong: (with concern) I'm sorry, I just want to ask, is it 80 a day or 80 a hammer?

Huang: (impatiently) Eighty a day! A hammer is eighty yuan. Isn't that a one-time deal?

Gong: Then why did you hit the hammer and shout?

Huang: Isn't it very energetic for me to shout like this?

Gong: But I have no idea at all!

Huang: What if you don't even give the deposit and I don't ask you to forget?

Gong: OK, OK, OK!

Huang: There is something wrong with this man!

Gong: Be narrow-minded!

Huang: I can't even shout! (ready to smash the wall) I shouted! (Shouting while smashing) Eight! Ten! Eight! Ten ... (broken wall) big brother, it's done!

Gong: OK!

Huang: Brother, the water pipe is cracked.

Gong: Oh, great. Get me a fountain.

Huang: Brother, I'm afraid not.

Gong: Why?

Huang: (wiping his face) Fall into the sewer!

Gong: Ouch! (Mark another place on the wall) Not that way, hit this way.

Huang: Here? (Shouting while smashing) Eight! Ten! Eight! Ten ... (broken wall) big brother, it's done!

Gong: (Approaching) Hey, this road is good! Nothing! (Reaching across the wall) Ouch! Electricity (shock) ...

Huang: (carrying a paint bucket) What?

Gong: smash ...

Huang: (putting down the paint bucket and picking up the sledgehammer) What?

Gong: Hit me!

Huang: Big Brother, smash! (smashing at Gong)

Gong: Ouch! Hit one side with a bang. Hit, hit, hit. ...

Huang: (approaching Gong) Brother, are you all right?

Gong: (weakly) I want to make it clear to you ... why don't I give money for breaking the wall? ...

Huang: (shaking hands) Brother, this hammer is from me. Big reward for the Spring Festival, one for free!

Gong: Thank you ... Oh, it's too dangerous ... (Stand up and walk to the middle wall. Mark on the wall)

Huang: That's true. You have to have a decoration plan. Otherwise, we'll all be out of breath and really hit the accelerator. (stands up and approaches Gong) Brother, what are you drawing?

Gong: Figure. According to this picture, give me one ...

Huang: (interrupting) No, big brother, the load-bearing wall fell when it hit the beam.

Gong: Don't smash it too thoroughly. Break half and leave half. Take out a closet.

Huang: It takes skill to handle this matter.

Gong: Oh?

Huang: (putting down the sledgehammer) Don't make a move with the sledgehammer. (takes out the sledgehammer) First of all, this sledgehammer can dig seams. (taking out the hammer nail) and then the sledgehammer is done.

Gong: A small hammer is good, but a small hammer is cheap! (yellow knocks on the wall. Gong smashed it and shouted) 44440 ...

(Huang gradually stops. Gong gradually stopped. )

Huang: What are you shouting?

Gong: Didn't you say that sledgehammer is eighty and sledgehammer is forty?

Huang: Add this forty to make it 120. Do you know that?/You know what?

Gong: How about another discount, 60%?

Huang: No! (Packing) Are you asking for profit after being scolded by you?

Gong: (Persuading) Eighty ... Eighty. ...

Huang: (holding up the sledgehammer) I don't have the patience, so I'll hit the sledgehammer. (Shouting while smashing) Eight! Ten! Eight! Ten ... (broken wall) big brother, it's done!

Gong: (approaching Huang) OK!

(Lin [plays a middle-aged woman]. Take the broom. Come out of the hole in the wall. )

Gong and Huang: (in horror) Wow! !

L: Why? What are you doing? What are you doing?

Gong: Nothing, madam. I just want to expand my space.

Lin: What do you do in our home to expand your space?

Huang: Brother, isn't that your house?

Lin: That's my house!

Huang: That's too much.

Gong: Sister-in-law, I didn't mean to cross the line. I just want to dig a closet.

Lin: Did you turn out the closet? Our closet has just been finished, and I am cleaning the dust. Well, here comes the sledgehammer! Fortunately, I'm in a hurry, or my face will be ruined, you know? (crying)

Yellow: (enlarge yellow. (whispering) Oh, big brother, this disfigurement is equal to plastic surgery!

L: What did you say? what did you say ? (Huang and Gong approach Lin) Let me tell you, is it easy to buy a house? One wall, one column, let you smash the house! (spit)

Huang: (wiping his face) Dude, it's worse than a sewer pipe!

Gong: Sister-in-law, don't be angry! You see, as the saying goes: with this wall, we are two; Tear down this wall ...

Lin: (Interrupting) Two!

Huang: Yes! Families can't have an affair!

L: What did you say? what did you say ?

Huang: You can't connect privately.

Lin: All right, cut the crap. What do you suggest?

Gong: I'll build a wall for you right away.

Lin: Bricklaying!

Huang: If it can be demolished, it can be demolished, and if it can be built, it can be built. If you can break, you can stand. (takes out bricklaying tools) I can also be a bricklayer. ...

Lin: (interrupting) Wait a minute ... I'll go first. (Walking into the hole in the wall. Go down. )

Huang: Sister-in-law, come and have a look! I'm going to build a brick. Take the front door ...

Gong: (Interrupting. Wang Dachui! I think you are a living sledgehammer!

Huang: I didn't know she had written half of it. I'm trying to finish the whole wall!

Gong: You build me a wall!

Huang: It's ok to build a wall. Where are the bricks?

Gong: (rhetorical question) Where are the bricks?

Huang: I smashed her house.

Gong: Move!

Huang: big ... brother, I dare not ... I'm afraid of disfigurement when I look at her! (spit)

Gong: (wiping his face) What should I do? Look at this wall. ...

(Noise from the other wall)

Huang: Big Brother, there is movement next door. (Gong and Huang approach the wall. (on the wall) Did you hear that? The procedure is the same. Pick the seam with a small hammer first, and then fix it with a big hammer. (come to their senses. Shout) Done! (The two quickly leave the wall)

The wall collapsed. [Decoration workers] in the forest)

Gong: What are you doing?

Lin: Oh, I'm sorry, big brother! I want to dig a closet and get to the border! Under the forest. Two people chase. )

Huang: (Gong, Huang, stand still. ) Big Brother, we have bricks! Brick!

Gong: What about this wall?

Huang: Do you care so much? Let's rob Peter to pay Paul first! (Wall building)

Gong: (anxiously) Oh, why am I so unlucky! This hammering from east to west has turned my good room into honeycomb briquette!

(Lin [decoration owner]. )

Lin: Hey, hey, hey! Who smashed it? Who smashed it? Who smashed it?

Huang: I ... I broke it.

Lin: Who told you to smash it?

Gong: (angrily) I let him hit it! How's it going?

Huang: (magnifying Gong) Don't be too horizontal. This may be property. ...

Gong: What's so great about real estate? I have paid the decoration deposit. (into the forest) I tell you, I can smash it if I want, because this is my home!

Lin: What floor do you live on?

Gong: The ninth floor.

Lin: (angrily) What floor is this?

Gong: Ninth floor!

Huang: That's right, Big Brother. (Lalin walks to the door) Look at that sign. Look, there is a sign hanging at the door, which says "Nine floors".

Lin: What do you know? I tell you, it was yesterday that the house across the hall hit the wall and knocked out this nail. Not the ninth floor, the sixth floor! You smashed my house!

Huang: Brother, I smashed someone's house. ...

Gong: Looking for a property. Find a property ...