The three most difficult stages of marriage. The ending of extramarital affairs is destined to be tragic.

In the period of love, the love between lovers can withstand the test. But after getting married, many people cannot hold back when faced with various temptations from the outside world. So what are the three most difficult stages in marriage? What are the outcomes for people who have had extramarital affairs?

The three most difficult stages of marriage

Anyone’s marriage is difficult It is not impeccable. The reason why there are so many examples of "growing old together" is because couples are actively maintaining their marriages and protecting their feelings and families. Nowadays, many couples do not try their best to maintain their marriages, which leads to extramarital affairs, cheating and other situations. The fundamental reason is not that the third party is powerful, but that the marriage has exposed gaps, allowing them a place to get in.

Therefore, couples should close the gaps in their marriage so as to resist the invasion of third parties. First of all, we must understand at what stage the marriage will "expose", and then we can solve it in a targeted manner.

The first stage: the dull period after the peak

From an institutional point of view, marriage is a bit like an "iron rice bowl", especially after the initial stage from love to marriage, the other party After the relationship reaches a certain level, it will inevitably enter a relatively dull period without too many ups and downs. The man's instinct of liking the new and hating the old is ready to kick in, even though the other person may not intend to separate or divorce.

In fact, more extramarital affairs occur between two people who have just met each other. The resurgence of old lovers is more likely to happen only when at least one party's marriage is on the rocks. There is a very interesting phenomenon. Some people were as bohemian as Tolstoy in their early years, but at a certain time, especially in their later years, they will live as pure as the Puritans. Some people experience innocence before marriage, but as the climax of marriage passes, they become The resistance to the outside world becomes very poor.

The second stage: the man’s period of frustration

When a man is frustrated, what he needs most is to get affirmation from a woman, rely on the warmth of a woman to relax himself, and then rebuild his own life. Confidence, if this man lacks a partner who can be compatible with him, then at this time he very much hopes that another woman will "take advantage of the situation", or even find a random woman that he usually disdains to get close to. If a woman who has always been attracted to him takes the initiative to comfort him, then something will easily happen.

When a man is vulnerable, he is like a child, while women are born to be good mothers. A man's emotional sublimation is sometimes completed when he is most vulnerable.

The third stage: sudden wealth

This kind of person is often not a playboy or naturally lustful, but at least money makes his male instinct expand instantly. Their early life is likely to be gloomier than that of ordinary people, and their disappointments in love are also very brooding for them. They use their own money to continuously create romantic encounters, just out of a compensatory mentality. The number of romantic encounters is often used as a criterion for their "sense of accomplishment." At least words like love are probably just a joke to them.

It seems that it is time to mobilize the whole people to discuss what social responsibilities the rich should bear.

The fourth stage: breakthrough in opposite-sex relationships

There is already a mutual affection, or one or even both parties have feelings for each other, but they just maintain the relationship as ordinary colleagues or friends, a chance encounter , creating conditions for both parties: they suddenly entered the state accidentally, and the two of them broke through the boundaries in a daze...

When opportunities come, women will always appear hesitant, but men often Will seize the opportunity to take the initiative. Opportunistic men sometimes do give women an unexpected surprise, but more often than not they don't want to take any responsibility for their impulses. Therefore, as long as you get married, you should not have too close contact with anyone of the opposite sex, let alone be ambiguous!

The fifth stage: the disharmony period in marriage

This is the reason for many extramarital affairs The culprit.

Regardless of couples' daily life or sexual affairs, as long as there is disharmony, one party must be eager to seek more freshness and excitement, and extramarital affairs are the best way.

Therefore, as long as there is a slight disharmony in the marriage, the couple must seize the time to make up for it and actively find happiness and passion. Only in this way can they ensure that the relationship between the two people continues to stay on the normal track, and extramarital affairs will also Seamless stitching.

Extramarital affairs are a "lose-lose" game

Love is a sincere thing, but some people abandon it and invest in extramarital affairs without hesitation. Why is extramarital affair so attractive? Some people think it is very exciting, some people think it is something they "need", and some people regard extramarital affair as a "win-win" game where everyone wants what they want. In fact, extramarital affairs are ugly and obscene. There is no way to win or win, and neither party can even benefit. It is a complete "lose-lose" game.

There is no reciprocal affection in extramarital affairs

The two parties in an extramarital affair pay unequal amounts of affection to each other. There is always more for one party and less for the other. If the emotional gap between the two parties is not big, then the extramarital affair will continue; if Party A is neither salty nor indifferent, and Party B is truly affectionate, emotionally passionate, and even falls in love with the other party, and the emotional investment of both parties is extremely wrong, then the extramarital affair will be very serious. If it is difficult to sustain, there will be divisions and even tragedies.

The beauty of extramarital affairs is all delusion

Party A stays at the level of "extramarital sex" most of the time, and pays relatively little true love; while Party B is serious about it, " "Extramarital Affair" has been upgraded to "Extramarital Love". Love means total devotion, uncontrollable love, and sincere hope of staying with the other person forever. Party B then feels like three autumns apart after not seeing each other for one day, dreaming of being with Party A and dreaming of getting married.

It is futile to seek repayment through extramarital affairs

Party A in an "extramarital affair" is particularly fond of Party B and is particularly satisfied with it, so he will be particularly willing to give, not only emotions, but also money. On the one hand, money is a way to please and repay Party B, and Party A has no choice but to pay; on the other hand, it is also to make Party B excited, repay the favor, and rely on himself; in the end, it is still out of selfish motives, nothing more than wanting Party B to Always follow yourself. This situation is common when the age gap between the two parties is large, the economic income gap is large, one party is married and the other is unmarried? For example, an extramarital affair between a married man and an unmarried young woman, or an extramarital affair between a married middle-aged woman and an unmarried boy. Sometimes, It also appears among married men and women of the same age.

Profit-seeking extramarital affairs lead to revenge

This kind of extramarital affair with money as the link is not strong and will change over time; besides, human nature is not stable , people's hearts are changeable, and their minds will also change. For example, Party B is tired of it; Party B wants to talk about marriage; Party B's appetite gradually grows, and he hates Party A's lack of money and becomes stingy; Party B has a new love; Party B has found a bigger money or a bigger official. ...These may lead to the breakdown of the relationship between the two parties. Party A paid emotionally and money, but in the end got nothing. It was all in vain. He lost his wife and lost his troops. It was unavoidable that he was ashamed and angry. It is easy to imagine that he would take extreme revenge when he was excited.

The cost of extramarital affairs is very heavy

"Paper cannot contain fire", "There is no wall in the world that is not ventilated", "If you don't want others to know, you have to do nothing yourself", these The old adage comes from experience. Even the most advanced and secretive cheaters will inevitably stumble. If an extramarital affair is exposed, if one party is exposed, or exposed at the same time, the respective spouses will definitely take action. Some are civilized, some are rough, some are bloody. They may get divorced and the wife and children are separated; There will be a price to pay, big or small, and no one involved can escape unscathed.

"Extramarital affairs" can also have wonderful results, but the probability of achieving a happy ending is simply the jackpot of welfare, very few. Because "sexuality is the first of all evils", the word "sexuality" has a knife in front of it. Many absurd things in ancient and modern times are caused by "sexuality" between men and women; ancient warning books are colorless and unwritten.

In a word, people who can control their own desires and control their lower body can save a lot of trouble and disaster in their life.

What to do if both parties want to save the marriage

If both parties want to save the marriage, the correct approach is as follows——

1. Don’t get entangled on this matter. No matter what the other person says, you must convince yourself to believe him or her. It is best to get marriage counseling, which not only gives the other party but also gives you a chance to deal with the problem.

2. Don’t attack the third party, because if you belittle the person he likes, you are belittling him. If you belittle him, he won't feel guilty.

3. Don’t publicize it everywhere, and don’t cry to relatives, friends, or leaders at work. This is the privacy of the couple. Otherwise, the cheating party will have no choice but to get divorced.

4. Take care of yourself and turn your attention to other things.

5. Express your attitude appropriately. Don't keep a straight face, let alone cry. You can tell the cheating party that you have been hurt, but don't pursue his or her past mistakes. Let the other party feel the warmth of home.