What's the funny joke?

A fan happily said to his girlfriend, "Playing football is just like hooking up with people. It takes a lot of effort. If a pair of feet can stick to the football like candy, it will be successful. " The girlfriend said, "Then what? Kick it away! "

Han Han's scarf: If I were a NPC deputy, I would definitely put forward a proposal: Pay Alipay when paying taxes. When the government makes achievements or fulfills its promises, we will confirm the payment, otherwise it will be refunded in full. At that time, government officials would chase our asses and shout, honey, give us a favorable kiss! Dear, choose me to serve the people! Dear, here are the results. Please check them, dear?

A buddy once asked a girl he had long admired, ready to confess to her. They sat for a long time before he got up the courage to say to the girl, "Do you have a boyfriend?" The girl replied shyly, "Not yet." He was ecstatic: "Then can you be my boyfriend?"