What jokes have you heard that make you laugh your head off?

The kitchen knife at home is broken, so my wife and I went to the mall to buy knives. The car stopped at the side of the road. I asked my wife to wait in the car in order not to let the traffic police post a ticket. After buying it, I found a traffic policeman nearby, so I rushed into the car with a knife and shouted: The police are coming! Let's go. I found nothing moving. I got on the wrong bus when I saw that the driver's seat was a stranger! The driver turned pale and looked at me motionless. I immediately explained and apologized. Just as I got off the bus and closed the door, the car jumped out like a bullet with the loud noise of tire skidding and white smoke.