Jokes about employment

joke 1: the painful experience of classmate Xiao Liu's google interview

examiner 1: what did the teacher say about you when you graduated?

Xiao Liu: Advantages-Internet expert, one of the best in school, Disadvantages: a little honest, not suitable for being a civil servant.

examiner 1: so, how did you know about the position we applied for today?

Liu: I searched it on Baidu.

examiner 1: get out ~!

examiner 2: so fucking honest ...

joke 2: the chairman of a big company recruits a female secretary and gives three test questions.

Question 1: What are the similarities and differences between bicycles and women?

second question: what are the similarities and differences between a hot water kettle and a woman?

question 3: what are the similarities and differences between refrigerators and women?

After reading the questions for 1 mm, the answers are as follows:

1. Bicycles are similar to women in that they can be ridden by people.

The difference is that bicycles can only be ridden after being pumped up, while women ride first and then pumped up.

2. A hot water kettle is similar to a woman in that water can be poured in.

The difference is that a hot water kettle can only be poured in after the plug is pulled out, and a woman can only pour in after the plug is plugged.

3. The refrigerator is similar to a woman in that you can put a piece of meat in it.

The difference is that the meat in the refrigerator is soft and hard to take out, while the meat in a woman is hard and soft to take out.

As a result, this mm was admitted ...

Joke 3: The disaster caused by jokes

Tell a joke! A famous entrepreneur personally presided over the interview.

I handed in my resume in trepidation. The entrepreneur didn't ask anything else but said, "Tell a joke!"

I talked for a long time and finally came up with a joke about parrots: "A man went to a pet store to buy parrots, and the shopkeeper said to him,' We have three parrots, the blue one can speak four languages, and the red one can speak six languages for 3, yuan, and the yellow one can't talk for 5, yuan. How did this happen?' The man cried,' It can do nothing!' Well,' explained the shopkeeper,' we don't know, but the other two call it CEO.' "

After I finished speaking, I turned blue, knowing in my heart that it was over again!

joke 4: courage

manager: "to be competent for this job, you must have superhuman courage, can you?"

The job seeker slapped the manager heavily and said loudly, "What do you think?"

manager: "do you know anything about our company?"

job seekers; "Don't I know as soon as I get to work in the company?"

manager: "what's your specialty?"

candidate: "My arms are good."

manager: "what on earth can you do?"

candidate: "to be honest, I know nothing."

manager: "then what are you doing here?"

candidate: "just to sit in your position."

manager: "last name?"

candidate: "My surname is not Si, but I believe Wu."

manager: "gender?"

Job seeker: "As I said, my surname is Wu, not turtle."

manager: "I asked you, are you a man or a woman?"

candidate: "I didn't expect that you not only have a bad ear, but also have a problem with your eyes."

The manager patted the job seeker on the shoulder: "That's how I came in! ! ！”