Collect some jokes about three questions

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs. Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read. ”

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: we played who could lean out of the window, and he won.

He won

Tom: Johnny, how is your little brother?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He was injured.

Tom: That's too bad. What happened?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? "

" She is the one who sells the candy. "

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "

"She is a candy seller."

The name was not copied

The teacher asked a student, "Did you copy someone else's test paper?"

"yes. I copied some, but not all. " The student replied.

"So, which places are not copied?"

"hmm ... I copied my name."

lesson

teacher: "if you make a mistake, you should learn a lesson."

student: "I know that."

teacher: "then why do you keep teaching?"

student: "I did it to learn more lessons."

crooked saying

Facing more and more students wearing glasses in the class, the teacher said earnestly, "Students, the eyes are the windows of the soul. You should not let them be covered by glass and lose their original light."

As soon as the voice fell, a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, since it is a window, how can it be cold without glass?"

Examination and Sweating

In the final examination field of medical college, a student racked his brains and couldn't come up with an answer.

I saw one of the questions: "How to make a patient sweat a lot?"

The student finally had to write: "In our college, I just need to send him to take the medical exam."

During a thunderstorm

Teacher: "Have you noticed? Lightning always precedes thunder. "

student: "this is the simplest thing. Don't people's eyes all grow in front of their ears? "

oral test

in class, the teacher asked the students to judge right and wrong on the spot.

teacher: "Xiao Lin, please judge."

Xiao Lin: "I think the answer should be' wrong'."

teacher: "why?"

Xiao Lin: "Because Xiaoyan said' correct' earlier, but you didn't ask her to sit down."

Lack of cooperation

Borg is the main force of the college basketball team, but his exam results are always not very good.

The math professor said to Borg, "You are such a good player, why can't you pass the exam?"

Borg said, "Some people cooperate when playing basketball, but no one cooperates during the exam."

It's hard to find a rice beam

I asked my students, "I told my father that in the circus I watched the day before yesterday, there was a program in which a man put his head in the mouth of a lion. My father shook his head and said,' This bowl of rice is really not easy to eat.'

I know you all know these words, but do you understand what this sentence means?

the students said in unison, "that is to say, the lion is thinking: the head is too hard, I'm afraid it's not easy to eat."

Invalid every other day

After being punished by the teacher, a group of students who violated the school rules wrote repentance books. Two days later, this group of students was taken to the teaching room again. The teacher said, "Didn't you write a repentance book?"

The student said, "Please read the reverse side of the book of repentance." Only then did the teacher find out that there were four words on the reverse side: "It will be invalid every other day"

History exam

College history exam is an oral exam. The professor asked three questions, which the history student couldn't answer. In order to give him a chance to pass the exam, the professor finally asked him:

"Who discovered America?"

"..."

The professor shouted angrily:

"Christopher Columbus!"

The student started to walk out, and the professor stopped him in surprise:

"Hey, why are you leaving?"

"I'm sorry, didn't you call the next candidate?"

"Don't trample"

Being a substitute teacher for the first time makes me feel excited and nervous. When I entered the classroom, I found that the blackboard said, "Welcome to the new teacher! Please don't trample, thank you! " I was surprised and asked why I wrote "Don't trample". The whole class replied with one voice: "We are the flowers of the motherland!"

Rare animals

In class, the teacher asked, "Students, who can name a rare animal in South Africa?"

"polar bear!" Xiao Na replied without thinking, < P > The teacher kindly said to Xiaoji, "You can't find polar bears in South Africa."

"I know!" Xiao Na said, "Because of this, polar bears are rare animals in South Africa."

Pull weeds

Teacher Zhang organized the students to pull weeds on the playground, and most of them pulled weeds seriously. But Xiao Ming stood there like Woodenhead, with his head down and motionless. Teacher Zhang was surprised and asked, "Xiao Ming, why don't you pull up the grass?"

Xiao Ming looked up and said, "Teacher Zhang, didn't you say that everyone should take care of everything in the school?"

reasons for going abroad

a school decided to send a classmate from Class Two to study in the United States. The head teacher asked everyone to consider who is the most suitable to send.

A student stood up happily and said, "Teacher, it is most appropriate for me to go. I want to sleep in class during the day, but I can't sleep at night. Because it happens to be night in China during the day. "

I don't know

Teacher: "Claude, you copied Maud's answer in the exam yesterday, didn't you?"

Claude: "Yes, but how did you find out?"

teacher: "Maud's answer to question 1 is' I don't know', and your answer is' I don't know'."

pros and cons

"Before you judge something, you must first listen to the pros and cons

." After that, the teacher then asked, "Who can give me an example?" A student immediately got up and replied, "when buying records!" "

Push the fattest one down

Students' Union will hold a prize-winning questionnaire. The title of the contest is: five celebrities ride in a balloon, and five

people represent the highest level in their respective fields: one is a writer, one is a chemist,

one is a physicist, one is a medical scientist and one is a meteorologist. The balloon was suddenly caught in a storm, and two of them had to be pushed down to ensure the safety of the balloon. The question is, which two people were pushed down by

?

before long, I received many answers, most of which were borrowed from others, and analyzed

the merits and demerits of each person in an eloquent way, and then came up with my own views.

But in the end, the jury gave the first prize to a third-grade student. His answer

was:

"Push the fattest two!"

What bothers someone

"Yiri is the most naughty child in the class," the head teacher complained to the female teacher. "The most annoying thing

is that this child never misses class."

Wrong guess

Teacher: "Why don't you always wash your face? Look, even your breakfast today? ***? Structure? br> On the face. "

Student: "What do you think I ate in the morning?"

teacher: "jam bread."

student: "you are wrong, that was eaten yesterday morning."

Students' Questions

Naughty Brown is often absent-minded in class and always speechless in front of the teacher's questions, so he is called "Mr. I don't know" by his classmates.

On one occasion, Brown wanted to get back at his teacher, so he asked, "I saw something without legs, and slipped across the kitchen floor. What do you think it is, teacher?"

the teacher thought about it and finally said "I don't know".

brown explained solemnly, "that's water."

count to 1 before saying

a winter day. After class, Mr. Ivan stood with his back against the classroom fireplace and said to the students,

"Think before you speak, and count to at least 5 before you speak, and count to 1 if it is important."

the students scrambled to count, and finally broke out in unison: "99, 1

The teacher's clothes are on fire.