Tell 10 funny jokes

1. A male deer walked faster and faster, and finally became a road (deer)! ! Two tomatoes cross the road and a car flies by. One of them couldn't escape being squashed, and the other tomato pointed to the squashed tomato and laughed: "Ha ha ha! Ketchup ... "3. There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, it was hit by a car. It shouted, "Gung!" " From then on it became a cucumber! ! One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" 5. Why did Xiao Ming fall? Please think twice … because the floor is slippery! 6. Glass and coffee cups cross the road together. Suddenly someone shouted, "Here comes the bus!" As a result, the glass was hit by a car and the coffee cup was fine. Why? Because coffee cups have ears! 7. A mental patient asked B, "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. But there are more characters. " Then the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" " "8. On the roadside, a blind beggar was begging in the street wearing sunglasses. A drunk came up and felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred dollars. After walking for a while, the drunk turned around and happened to see the blind man with his back to the sun to distinguish the authenticity of a hundred-dollar bill. The drunk came over and took the money back and said, "You don't want to live, how dare you lie to me! ""The blind beggar said with a look of injustice, "Brother, I'm really sorry. I'm looking for a friend. He was blind and went to the toilet. Actually, I'm dumb. ""oh, that's right! " So the drunk dropped the money and staggered away ... www. xiaohua286.cn9. A blonde flew to new york. Her ticket is economy class, but she just sits in first class. The captain asked the stewardess to explain to her that she could only travel in second class. The blonde held her head high and said proudly, "I insist on flying first class!" " Because I am a blonde! "The stewardess reluctantly went back and told the captain that she couldn't handle it. The captain sent another man to persuade the blonde. As a result, the man came back depressed. The captain sent five people in a row, but they didn't let the blonde sit in the back of economy class. Then the captain decided to come by himself. Then the captain only said a word to the blonde, and the blonde obediently returned to the regular class. The captain said, "First class doesn't fly to new york. "10. One day, there was a soft candy walking in the street. As he walked, he suddenly said, "Oh dear! My legs are so soft! "1 1. Shennong tasted a hundred herbs. What was the last thing he said before he died? He said, "this ... this ... this is poisonous ..." 12. Three women died and went to heaven. The angel said to them, "you can't step on rabbits when you get to heaven, or you will be severely punished." "When the three of them arrived in heaven, they found rabbits everywhere, and there was no place to stand. One of the women accidentally stepped on a rabbit, and the angel brought it to an ugly man and locked them together. Two days later, another woman accidentally stepped on one, and the angel took her to an old and ugly man and locked them together. The third woman was careful not to step on a rabbit for two months. On this day, the angel brought a very handsome man to her and locked them together. The woman was puzzled and asked the man what was going on. The man said, "I don't know why, I just stepped on a rabbit." 13. A wise king devoted his life to building and defending his country. Finally, he was old and weak and bedridden. One day, he felt that he was going to die, so he quickly called ministers and important officials from all over the country. After receiving the order, the officials rushed to the palace. The king raised his hand with difficulty and said, "Listen to me ..." Then he died. Www.zhuoyuejoyo.cn 14。 At the beginning of the new semester, every boy has to go on stage to introduce himself. When a handsome guy introduced himself, the host asked, "Have you ever been mistaken for a girl?" "Of course," the boy disagreed. "When I was a child, my teacher always treated me like a girl, until one day I shaved all my hair in a rage." "The teachers must be very surprised?" "well! But what surprised me most was not the teacher, but the boy who had been carrying my schoolbag very diligently for a year. 15. A cold joke about China football: Yesterday, Xie Yalong, vice chairman of China Football Association, came to Leipzig, Germany to meet with FIFA President Blatter to discuss the application of China Football Association to join the Antarctic. After the Australian Football Association joined the Asian Football Association, the China Football Association began to think deeply about its prospects for qualifying for the World Cup. After several schemes were overturned, Shen Xiangfu, head coach of Guoan Club, finally accepted the wonderful idea of "going directly to the top 32 without qualifying". Based on the overall strength of soccer in China and the soccer environment in Antarctica, the conclusion of this idea is that since there are only penguins and icebergs in Antarctica, penguins will not participate in the World Cup (if they participate, the chances of China's men's soccer qualifying will continue to be greatly reduced), so that China can win without fighting. On the same day, FIFA President Blatter accepted the request of the China Football Association to include the China Football Association in the Antarctic, but the condition was that only 1/2 places were given, that is, a play-off match was held with the first place in South America. Knowing this result, Xie Yalong took responsibility and resigned.