Joke science popularization

Guide: I finally sit at the same table with someone I like in high school. As a result, on the first day, he drew the 38th parallel with me, saying that all the excesses should be his. A little sad, think he is too naive. I fell asleep in class and crossed the line with my elbow. He said with a serious face, "You crossed the line. You have to belong to me."

Ten jokes

1, in the evening, I snuggled up to my husband's chest and said to him coquetry: I want to hear a story, you tell me a story of heart abuse ... and then he said: Break up. ...

A few days ago, if you are the one, there was a young man selling vegetables at four or five in the morning, with this as the background. A female guest asked: won't it feel left out to eat vegetables at four or five in the morning after marriage? At that time, Mr. Huang said something that moved me very much: shouldn't a wife get up with her husband?

3. I remember when I was in primary school, my friends and I surfed the Internet in the black Internet bar. The gangsters in the Internet cafe charged each of us the protection fee of 5 yuan. I only have 50 pounds, so I have to give it to them. They also went to the bar and broke 50 and gave me 45.

4, the college entrance examination, I will report after military training. My roommate teased me, and everyone got a tattoo of a dragon, tiger and leopard, and then smoked a cigarette. One of the roommates took out a piece of tin foil with trembling, sprinkled some milk powder, baked it with a lighter below, and politely sent it to him: "Dude, the whole mouth?" Then, then I scared the urine.

I found that I was smart when I was a child. Every exam is a blank sheet of paper. Anyway, the blank paper teacher can't mark √×, so I scored 0 directly, and then I tried to curl my hair and found a classmate with 90 points to copy the paper, with a 9 in front. It's done. When I was a child, I got good grades in school, and my mother praised me.

6. My wife doesn't reverse the car. She usually drives downstairs, and then I park it in the parking space. Today, when I came back from a business trip, I saw my car parked in the parking space, thinking that my wife's driving skills had made great progress, so I should praise her when I entered the door. Who knows that as soon as he entered the door, his son ran over and said, "Dad, you can come back. My grandparents and I have been helping my mother push the car for a week. "

7. I will leave Huaian soon. Recalling living in Huai 'an for so many years, I really can't bear to part with it, and I still have so many good friends. But I have no choice but to make a living. A lot has happened recently, and I have suffered a lot. Now I figured it out. Friends in the circle, when you saw this message, I was on my way. Don't worry about me. I will take care of myself. I want one. South Korea is going to change its president. I want to try. .

8. On the way home from school in elementary school, I suddenly saw my dad's car passing by. I thought I didn't have to go at last, so I shouted desperately: Dad, Dad ... The whole street knew that I was calling Dad, and the car stopped after chasing for more than 100 meters. It turned out that an old man rolled down the window. In order to hide his embarrassment, he continued to run and call for dad …

9. When I was a child, I once went out to play with my brother. When I got home, my brother was all dirty. My mother scolded me when she saw it, and then pointed at me and said to my brother, "I'm also going out to play." Look at my brother! How can you be old and not successful! " Then my brother came up without hesitation and dragged my coat down. ...

10, there has always been one thing unknown, I hope our friends can learn from it. Watching a costume drama, two armies are at war, and one side is shooting arrows, but why only shoot the enemy, not our own people? And why the general can't die with one arrow, but the soldiers can die with one arrow.

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happy time

I have a dream of driving since I was a child, and today it has finally come true!