Are there any funny jokes?

A prince is cursed and can only say one word a year. After five years of silence, he came to the princess and said, "I love you, princess."

The princess turned her head and said a word, and the prince fainted.

The princess said, "What?"

The lame and the blind go out in the same car. The blind ride, the lame watch the road. Suddenly, the lame man found a deep ditch in front of him. He shouted: ditch, ditch, ditch! The blind man sang back: oh, oh, oh, oh! They fell into the ditch together.

Someone bought a car with license plate number 00544 (let me try). He was overjoyed and was driving in the city when he was suddenly hit. He was furious, but when he got off the bus and looked closely, he felt speechless. The other car number is: 44944 (just try it)!

A couple took a nursing child to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the child cried, the woman quickly undressed and the waiter stopped her. The woman is furious: Isn't that ok? The waiter said: it is ok to show your chest, but you can't bring your own drinks.

A farmer went to the garage and took out 2000 yuan: buy a Santana. Shop assistant: What? Farmer: Santana 2000 is written at the door. Shop assistant: You go to the Mercedes-Benz 600 opposite.

The dentist examined the patient's mouth: "There is a big hole in your tooth! There is a big hole. " Patient: "There is a hole, but it goes without saying twice." Dentist: "I only said it once." That's an echo. It is an echo. "

Part I: Hahahahaha, Part II: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Transverse criticism: neuropathy

The tortoise and the snake go to the park with only one ticket. The tortoise was entangled in his neck by a snake. When entering the park, the eagle who cut the ticket said, stop. The tortoise and the snake panicked, and the eagle said, Look at your tortoise. You're still wearing a tie

Several people went to the restaurant to eat, and the waiter was new.

After everyone was seated, the host said "tea, miss" and the waiter checked the number from the beginning.

The host asked, "Miss, what are you?"

The waiter said, "This is a dog's".

Then I went to tortoise soup and tortoise.

The host said, "Miss, you can give points."

Miss, I looked at turtle soup and that bastard, and I was embarrassed.

The host said, "What's the matter?"

The waiter said, "There are seven of you and six assholes. How do you divide them? "

After waiting for a while, everyone was drinking turtle soup. The host said, "Miss, you can divide the turtle meat."

The waiter said, "The tortoise drinks soup."

The scariest diary

Old bear was about to write a diary when he found that the diary had been used up. He wanted to go out and buy another book, but it was already twelve o'clock at night. But he rode his bike and looked for it in the dark street. After searching for a long time, I finally found a bookstore and went before closing. He likes a diary very much, so he asks his boss how much it costs.

The boss said in a low voice, "This is imported, and the price should be set in 70 yuan ..."

The old bear said, "It's so expensive, but I have to pay 50 yuan."

The boss said, "It doesn't matter, even if you are at 50 yuan."

The old bear said happily, "Thank you, boss."

The boss said in a very low and gloomy voice, "When you buy it back, don't open the last page, or something terrible will happen." Don't blame me for not reminding you! "

The old bear said, "Well, I see."

Old bear bought his diary home. He opened the package and put it on the table in front of the room window. At this time, he wants to take a bath and then come out to write a diary. ...

After taking a shower, Lao Xiong found that the window in front of the desk was actually open, and the wind blew the diary page by page ... When the last page was blown, Lao Xiong stepped forward to stop it, but it was too late, and the last page was blown away by the wind.

A terrible thing happened ... I saw the old bear let out a scream because he saw the last page, which read:

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Pricing: 3 yuan