The funniest joke

There are six rich men, namely a Japanese, a Russian, a French, a Norwegian, a German and an American.

They went to the mall together. Being rich, they have little left to buy. Only the weird stuff can attract their attention. Just as the mall was promoting the new art toilet, the six rich men stopped to watch.

After watching for a while, one of them suggested: "Such a novel toilet is indeed very unusual. How about buying one and trying it?" Because they are all rich people, no one is far behind, and everyone plans to buy it. One goes back.

The Japanese love cleanliness, so they bought a "super hygienic toilet"; the Russians like textured things, so they bought a "granite toilet"; the French value art, so they bought a "painted toilet" "Toilet"; Norwegians favor wood products, so they bought a "pure wooden toilet"; Germans advocate high technology, so they bought a "computer-controlled toilet"; Americans value freedom and relaxation, so they bought a "music toilet" .

Six people happily transported the toilet home.

A month later, six people got together again during a business meeting. During the chat, the topic unknowingly turned to the toilet they purchased last time.

The Japanese were indignant and spoke first: "I have returned the damn super hygienic toilet. The instructions say that the toilet will be automatically disinfected after each use and a plastic film will be put on the toilet seat. , sprayed with the words "It has been disinfected, please feel free to use". But now the procedure is completely messed up, and before I can stand up, it starts spraying plastic film on my butt!"

The Russian then complained: "I have already returned the damn granite toilet. These people polished the granite too smooth. As soon as I sat on it, it immediately slipped off and fell several times. It was inconvenient, but my butt was bruised. ”

The French were not to be outdone and cursed: “I also returned the damn painted toilet. The printing quality of the painted toilet is too bad. It keeps fading. Now all the paintings on the toilet seat are gone.” It’s up my butt!”

The Norwegian was also furious: “I’m returning the damn wooden toilet! What’s the quality? I don’t know if it was inspected when it left the factory, and it was strictly managed according to ISO9000. It’s so convenient, it’s full of wood scum!”

The Germans couldn’t bear it anymore: “The damn computer controls the toilet, I want to return it too! I don’t know what operating system it uses, it keeps crashing. , I was halfway through the process, when it started to call: 'Now the toilet computer has crashed, please put on your pants and stand up, close the toilet seat, close the toilet seat, then open the toilet seat, open the toilet seat, and then Take off your pants and sit down again, and the toilet computer will restart. Thank you! Technical support phone number is 12345678.

'snort! ”

Finally it was the American’s turn. He said angrily: “Damn musical toilet, I can’t do it without returning it!” Originally, it stored 3,000 songs and could be played randomly when convenient. However, nine times out of ten, it played the same song - the American national anthem, causing me to immediately pull up my pants and stand up to salute as soon as I sat down! ”

The second story is to die from eating instant noodles

My brother doesn’t like the food my mother cooks, but he likes to eat instant noodles. One day my mother didn’t cook, and I My brother wanted to eat instant noodles again, and my mother scolded him: "Why don't you go out to buy a bento without mom cooking? Eating instant noodles is not nutritious!!" My brother said, "I just like to eat it, so what!" "Oh! Ah... Mom told you, instant noodles are really not a good thing. There is a young lady in your father's company who saved the money and sent it home, so she eats instant noodles in the morning and instant noodles at noon. Noodles, instant noodles at night. She ate instant noodles every day, but she died three months later!" Brother (shocked): "Really?" "How could mom lie to you?" "Really, then. How did she die?" "...Well,...there was a car accident while buying instant noodles..."

The third story was a car accident

When I was in high school, a thrilling scene happened at the fruit and vegetable market in front of the Huazhong Bridge.... Since the fruit and vegetable market was the breakout point for many buses, and it was the time after get off work and school, the bus we took was so crowded that the people standing on the bus were so crowded. The people at the door, including their faces, were clinging to the car door like a gecko. After the driver and others had all boarded, he started to set off. Since he had to get on the bridge, he kept stepping on the accelerator to accelerate until he found an old woman passing in front of him. It was too late to hit the brakes on the road! I saw the old woman lying on the road in front of the car, motionless. A pile of intestines flowed out from beside her, and blood began to ooze... Some people started to scream. Yelling... Some were speechless after seeing it, while the driver looked pale and did not dare to get down from his seat. When the driver in the car was in a daze, a strange thing happened... Suddenly , the old woman stood up shakily, took out a torn plastic bag, and began to pick up the intestines, muttering in her mouth: "Yao Shou... How can I eat the intestines I just bought... ."

The fourth story bento

tells you a ghost story, and it is terrifying! On a quiet moonlit night, a traveler traveling through the mountains unfortunately lost his way. Just when he was hungry, cold, and exhausted, he finally found a thatched house far ahead. He happily ran forward, knocked on the door, and shouted: "Is anyone there?" An old lady came out to answer the door. After the traveler explained his purpose, the old lady kindly gave the traveler a box of lunch and promised that the traveler would stay at her house temporarily that night. Early the next morning, the traveler As soon as the traveler woke up, he was surprised to find that there was no thatched hut around him, and he was sleeping on the ground. Not to mention there was an old lady. However, the traveler was not afraid, and was still very grateful to the old lady in his heart, thinking that she was the incarnation of Bodhisattva. , came to save the people in distress. So he bowed on the spot and left with gratitude. After a long journey, he finally returned to the village. After returning, he told everyone about this story. After a long time, someone finally said He said: "The grandma you are talking about, she passed away three years ago. When the traveler heard this, he secretly screamed something bad, suddenly felt a sharp pain in his body, and shouted: "It's not good... I,...I...I ate...an expired bento!"

The seventh story: Ghost in the barracks

This story is about me in Kinmen. Bing's brother came back from vacation and told me... He said that there was a Bing brother in their company who had graduated from college. One night he was standing guard and he hurried back to the company to tell him that he was a ghost. , everyone asked him what the ghost looked like. He vowed: "I saw a Pikachu walking past me...