Stories will be humorous jokes.

Humor can reduce tension and create a relaxed atmosphere. I collected some humorous stories for you. Let's have a look.

A good story will be a humorous joke.

1) The person in charge of the bathing beach implicitly said to the beauty who wears three points:? We don't allow two-piece swimsuits here. ? The beauty replied:? Ok, which one do you think is more suitable for me to remove?

2) A repairman came to repair the TV set, and there was only one very sexy woman at home. The maintenance man kept looking at the woman while repairing the TV. After the repair, the woman said to the repairman: I have an embarrassing request. Can you promise me? ? The maintenance man vaguely felt something and repeatedly said. what's up . The woman continues: The thing is, my husband is very weak, and there are some things I can't refer to him. You see, you are a man and I am a woman? In fact, as soon as you came in, I noticed your strong body. The population is about to flow out, and can't wait to say, then let's start! ? ......

3) A man went to visit his best friend, and only his best friend's beautiful young wife was at home. He lured her to sleep with him with lust and fear in exchange for his willingness to give her RMB. She thought about it, thought it was a good deal and the money was easy, so she really slept with him. After dark, her husband came back from work and asked if Fadi had come today. Why did you ask him? She answered guiltily. ? Did he give you yuan? What? Yuan? She was in a panic. ? Hmm! ? The husband said: I lent him 1000 yuan last month and promised to pay me back today. ?

4) A newly-married soldier wrote a letter to his wife: If you are free this weekend, please come. I need someone to accompany me. I'm short of money. Please bring RMB when you come over. If you can't come, please send me yuan. ?

5) In the evening, my husband went to the bar to be chic. My wife is upset at home, it's almost two in the morning, and my husband hasn't come back yet! Wife sends a text message:? Hurry back and hand in your homework! ? I won't explain what you mean by handing in your homework. But there was still no response for a long time, and my wife couldn't help calling and found that the phone was turned off! My wife is so angry! At this moment, suddenly a strange number sent a message: I got your homework!

6) A man who left work early came home and found his wife in bed with a strange man. He said angrily and loudly. You bastard, I'll make you pay for this. ? The strange man replied:? Nonsense, I paid when I came in, so I won't breach the contract! ?

7) At a national toll station, a truck driver complained to the female toll collector: It's too tiring to climb two mountains to reach you. The female toll collector said: It will be even if it goes down a little. The driver said: Is there any grass next? Female toll collector: @ # $! @#$! @#

8) When a man saw a beautiful female nurse, he dreamed and said: Miss, can you lift your skirt? I can give you money. ? Miss, lift the skirt a little and get it. ? Miss, would you please raise it a little higher? Miss, raise a little more and get it again. ? Can you lift it up a little? , the man said. The lady replied:? Don't you just want to see where women give birth? You always give me yuan, and I'll show you enough. ? ......

9) Mother and daughter take a taxi through the city center. The daughter caught a glimpse of some enchanting women standing on the street corner and asked her mother: What are they doing? They are waiting for their husbands to have dinner together after work. ? Mom replied. ? Oh, my god ? The taxi driver couldn't help interrupting. Madam, you should tell the truth. They are prostitutes, waiting for their clients to come! Can prostitutes have children? The daughter asked her mother curiously. ? Of course it will. Mom replied grumpily,? Who else will be a taxi driver?

10) There is a man and his girlfriend driving a sports car. The woman rises and says to the man:? If you drive to 150, I'll take off my clothes. ? Man:? What's wrong with that! ? After that, she slammed on the accelerator and drove to 180. The woman really took off her clothes. Just then, an accident happened and the car overturned. The man was stuck in the car and couldn't get out, so he told his girlfriend to go for help. Woman:? But I'm naked! ! ? Man:? Then I'll lend you a shoe and you cover the key parts. ? So his girlfriend ran to the community for help according to her shoes. She went to the gas station and told the younger brother of the gas station out of breath: Rush? Quick? Help me? Boyfriend, him? Card? It's stuck in there and can't get out! ! ? ......

1 1) A person died and went to hell. It was very hot. But he saw a beautiful woman in hell with a bottle of good wine beside her. He turned to the kid and said that hell is so beautiful, with wine and beautiful women. ? Children:? You only know one thing, but you don't know the other. There is a hole in the bottom of this bottle of wine. You can't drink it, but that beautiful woman doesn't. ?

12) a: since my girlfriend went on a business trip, my waist is not sore, my legs are not soft, and I don't even doze off at work every day? B: ever since his girlfriend came on a business trip, my back aches and my legs ache, and I doze off at work every day?

13) As soon as a person enters the clinic, he says to the doctor eagerly. Doctor! Please help me! I can't stand the pain! ? The doctor couldn't help but be surprised. Oh, my God! How did you fix your nose? Swelling like one? Male treasure? Hey! ? The patients are ashamed to say: Hey! How many servings do I have to eat to do it? Viagra? ! ? Doctor: Wow! How could this happen! ? Tell you what! Let you? Friends? Please come out and let me see #? The man did it, the doctor said with great certainty after reading it. I tell you, you will eat more at first, so it is not the right place! ?

A selection of humorous jokes at the story meeting

1) With regard to the disciplinary decision on Brother Sheng's farting, it was decided through research that Comrade Sheng would be punished as follows: 1. After farting, stay alone until the fart smell disappears; Second, take off your pants before farting, and then fart; Don't tell me before farting, eat a catty of peas after farting. That's it! Housing Committee

2) A man kissed a strawberry around his girlfriend's neck and was seen by his seven-year-old niece, who said: Aunt, what happened to your neck? Awkward answer:? Bitten by a dog. ? The niece said in surprise, huh? Then if you get an injection, you will get rabies. ? Anonymous calmly replied:? Yes, I did. I just did it last night! ? Do you know anything about seconds?

3) There are two young couples who haven't been married long. Although there is no car under the ass for the time being, it has become an essential habit for couples to soak in the jar of the automobile age after dinner every day. Follow, irrigate, do nursing, pat bricks? Automobile knowledge is rising every day? It's getting late. Wash and sleep. After the couple went to bed, they began to get warm. Wife stroking her husband: Why is the paint of domestic cars so rough? Husband stroking his wife: You are also a joint venture car, only metallic paint. The wife couldn't wait and touched her husband's ass. Wife: Why aren't you on the road? Don't worry, it's a cold start. It is necessary to preheat the car after ignition. Wife: Didn't you read that post just now? Experts say that it is not good to preheat the car in place after ignition! Husband: That's not comprehensive. Who should step on the gas in a cold car like you? Develop every time you start? Hot car? The habit of. Sticking to the original hot car for a few minutes, after full lubrication, is of great benefit to the service life of the car. ......

4) One day, a boy had just finished foreskin surgery, and a female nurse was preparing to take out stitches and change medicine for him. The patient said to the sister of the female nurse, slow down, slow down, it hurts a little. Sister nurse said humorously: Do you enjoy this process? How else can you tell me to slow down? I couldn't help laughing when I saw the patient's embarrassed face.

5) At three o'clock in the morning, the doctor's phone rang. ? Hello? The other end of the phone was very flustered: doctor, our baby just swallowed a condom. ? The doctor said: take him to the hospital, and we will meet in the hospital in ten minutes. ? He got dressed and was about to go out when the phone rang again. He picked up the phone. ? Hello? A very calm voice came from the other end of the phone: it's okay, doctor. We found another one. Don't bother. ? Girls and boys love each other and their feelings are getting stronger and stronger, but they never cross the line. The girl had no choice at first, so she gave the boy a delicate condom as a hint. Unexpectedly, the guy broke up the next day. The girl was heartbroken and regretted it. At this time, the young man was complaining to his buddy: This woman is so talented that she wants to break up without telling me directly. Sending a broken balloon implies that I was blown, md, and it was blown.

6) I have a good relationship with a girl in college. Every time I send her back to the dormitory, she always gives me a hug when I go upstairs, because graduation will definitely separate the two places, and we have not said anything. In the first year of graduation, the whole class got together and we hugged each other intimately. I said: after working for a year, you haven't changed at all, and you are still so beautiful! ? She smiled for a while and said, you have changed a lot, and now hugs won't poke me! ?

7) Son, you really gave your father a long face. You can't take the exam, can you Why write couplets on the test paper? The first part: It is too difficult for my son to write the questions. Bottom line: Sun Tzu's invigilation is too strict. Horizontal criticism: I won't. Your head teacher invited me to the office. I smiled when I saw the test paper. The teacher stared at me!

8) "Old baby, I asked my husband:? You call me baby now, and when we have children, you call me baby, so what do you call me? Husband replied:? Old baby. ? Wind and rain! My husband told me about his experience of marrying me: wind, come on; Rain, come on; Let the storm come more violently! So, here comes my wife. ? There is rice. I'm sorry that my husband never likes rice. He ate steamed bread at night and said, with jiaozi, I will definitely not eat steamed bread; With steamed stuffed buns, I will never eat oil cakes again; I definitely don't eat steamed bread if there are oil cakes; With steamed bread, I will never eat rice again; Do you have rice? I am sad. ? Prince toad's husband drinks, and I'm angry: one more drink and we'll get divorced! Toads with three legs are hard to find, and men with two legs are all over the street! ~? Husband:? I am your legendary toad prince. Is it hard to find a three-legged toad? Congratulations! You found it. ? ......"

9) Xiaoli, a colleague and clerk, fell asleep at her desk at noon. A few male colleagues are watching the football league on their mobile phones. Everyone shouted:? Shoot! Shoot! ! ? Xiaoli woke up from her sleep and shouted: Don't shoot there. Everyone was fooled. . .

10) I was watching TV on the sofa. My wife sat on my lap wrapped in a bath towel and said charmingly, Uncle, you want a little girl, don't you? I deliberately sat still:? No, no, uncle, I have no money with me today! ? Wife:? What money is not money, just make the little girl happy, and make up an iou afterwards! ? I am dizzy ~ ~ ~ I still owe money for this matter! I lifted my wife's chin in one hand and jokingly said, Girl, come and sing me a song! ? My wife patted my hand: My guest, please show some respect. I only sell myself, little girl, not art! ? Shocked ~ ~ ~ this hit the gun! Reading in bed after a bath, my wife came out of the bathroom. A hungry tiger pounced on me and said coldly, hey, little brother looks good, little girl, I want to try it today! ? I fought to the death. When my wife saw that I was disobedient, she turned her head and said softly: Grandpa, you just followed that little girl, right? I said:? Give me a reason first! ? My wife's eyes are dripping: The little girl just got out of prison and hasn't eaten meat for years! ? My mother ~ ~ ~ ~ This reason is very sufficient, and there is no reason for disobedience! ......

Living alone in a hotel. When he took the elevator upstairs, the elevator stopped at the first floor and a naked beauty came in. He was stunned and kept looking at it. Beauty:? What is there to see? I haven't seen it, have I, smallville? ? He replied:? Yes, it's nothing. My wife has a set of pajamas just like yours. ?

12) ? You are finally online! ? what's up We have delivered the inflatable doll you bought yesterday, but we are out of the Fan Bingbing version you asked for online, so I sent you the Xifeng version, but you can rest assured of the quality. I will give you another price. The goods have been delivered by express, dear. Remember to give a good review! ?

Classic stories are humorous jokes.

1) Before his son got married, his father was embarrassed to teach him, saying that you would be above and she would be below. On their wedding night, the bride saw that the new bed had been replaced with a bunk bed.

2) Keane asked his girlfriend:? Am I the first man to have sex with you? Yes, you are the first. Other men are straightforward and never procrastinate. ?

3) When I went to the Canton Fair with a colleague, I was often harassed by the lady's phone at the hotel. By chance, we found the room number of the lady who called us (probably the one who booked a room in a hotel and then harassed it with an extension), so we naturally knew the extension number of the lady (many hotels use the room number). So one afternoon we were harassed again: Do you need a young lady? After refusing, we were filled with indignation, so our colleague dialed the phone back. It was the lady who answered the phone just now, and our colleague lowered his voice solemnly. Can I help you, sir? . It is estimated that the young lady has never encountered such a situation. After a pause for a few seconds, she said angrily, Yes, I want your head! ? ......

4) At the school meeting, the subject director made a final summary: In short, I hope that no matter where you are, you should remember that you are a student in our school, and you must never smoke while walking, wear shorts in the classroom, or even talk about indecent topics in your own room. ? Also, female students, if there are some pig brothers and boys pestering you, ignore him. You have to ask yourselves, is it worth ruining your reputation for an hour of happiness? Well, what's the problem? Just when the whole audience was silent, suddenly a gentle voice said, excuse me? What can I do to keep him going for an hour? It is said that when Wukong borrowed a banana fan from Princess Iron Fan, it happened to be the time when Niu Wangmo came back from work. Niu Wangmo heard the following conversation at home: Wukong:? Sister-in-law, I am in you! ? Princess Iron Fan:? Ah! Don't! ! ! Ah! ! ! It hurts! ! ! Do not move. Oh, please come out quickly! ! ! Ah. . . ? Wukong:? Okay, I'm coming out! Please open your mouth! ! ! ? Princess Iron Fan:? Huh? Hearing this, Niu Yi left the divorce papers at home and left sadly.

5) A man went to the business hall to renew the fee. Man:? I pay the broadband fee for half a year. ? Waitress:? It is best to hand it in once a year. ? Man:? But I only brought money for half a year! ? The waitress patiently explained: You'd better have sex for one year at a time, which is more cost-effective. ? Man:? I told you, only six months. Let's go ? Waitress:? It is not a man to be so stingy. ? The man was furious:? Then tell me, how long does it take to make love once to be a man! ? Mm of a forum with close relationship with me was in a bad mood, so she took me out to have dinner with her. Halfway through the meal, she ordered a bottle of beer and asked me, can you have a drink with me? I feel terrible today! ? I hesitated? Well, I'm sorry, I can't drink it, okay? Oh, I'm not good at drinking either, and I get drunk after drinking one bottle. When I get drunk, I have sex with my relatives, huh? After that, he gave me a sad look. I thought for a moment, then turned and shouted, waiter, four more beers! ! ?

A couple got married in the church. When it was time to exchange rings, the nervous groom forgot about it. The priest raised his finger anxiously, made a snapping gesture and winked at the groom. I saw the groom blushing and stammered. Reverend, isn't that the wedding night tonight?

7) A lonely man walks into a bar and has nothing to say with his boss. Running for president again, the boss quickly stopped and said, stop it. No one can talk about politics in my bar. It is so boring. ? The man changed the subject and said, I heard that Paul II was interrupted again: Don't talk about religion, it's boring. ? Let's talk about football. Recently, psg teams in Paris have suffered many defeats and battles. Don't mention it. How many people fight with me for talking about football? The man couldn't bear it, held his breath and asked, shall we talk about sex? ......

8) When taking the elevator, the man was surprised to find a naked woman in the elevator. The woman gave him a white look and scolded, What are you looking at? What's there to see! ? Oh! I just want to say that my wife has a leather coat like this. ?

9) Young women always go their own way, even if they feed their children in public, they will never wriggle. On one occasion, he and his husband took their children to a restaurant for dinner. The children were crying with hunger, and the young woman lifted her skirt to feed them. The waiter came up to her and politely asked her not to breastfeed in public. The young woman was furious and said, do you think breastfeeding is obscene? Don't! ? The waiter politely pointed to the notice on the wall and said, but it is forbidden to eat food that is not served in this restaurant. ?

10) "The husband came home and found that his wife was having an affair with his best friend, so he shot them and was convicted of murder. The next day, the news made the front page, and the neighbors were talking about it. A neighbor who lives above the couple expressed his opinion. He said: It's a good thing it happened on Friday, otherwise the situation would be worse. ? The neighbors said disapprovingly, what could be worse than these two dead and one prisoner? Because if her husband comes back on Thursday, I will die! Wouldn't it be worse? The neighbor upstairs said. "

1 1) A girl went to buy eggs with a cat in her arms, and put down the cat at the booth to pick eggs. The male stall owner praised the cat: Your boobs are so big! The woman was angry and didn't speak. The stall owner said, Your boobs are so white! The girl is furious: If you talk nonsense again, I will crush your eggs!

12) blind date, there is a mm sitting opposite in the teahouse. After understanding the work, education, family and hobbies of both sides, the conversation got into trouble and began to talk about some social topics. Me: What do you think of the housing market? Mm (paused, then lowered his head and was silent for a while): Or? It's best not to be too frequent.