A joke between a son and a mother

The conversation between parents and children is very funny.

1, "Son, what are you drawing?" "I am drawing a portrait of God." "But no one knows what God is like!" "Don't you know when I drew it?"

2. "Dad, I'm back from school!" "Come back? Is the environment of the new school good? " "Isn't that great?" "Really?" "yes! There is a game hall, two KFC and four comic books around. "

3. "Son, tomorrow is the anniversary of your grandfather's death. Let's go to his grave together. " "Buy grandpa a KFC as a sacrifice." "His father didn't like that before he died." "But, but I love it!"

4. "Son, what will happen to you if I die tonight?" "I will be heartbroken to death!" "Hey hey, why?" "Because you promised me to eat KFC at the weekend, it's ruined!"

5. Dad: I wish I could go back in time. Son: Why? Dad: Then I can earn more money. Son: I don't want time to go back, otherwise, what I said before will be in vain!

6. Dad: The mid-term exam is over. You won't let me down again, will you? Son: Don't worry, I will never let you down. I promise you will be desperate after reading it! A Liang is infatuated with Hong Kong, saying that everything in Hong Kong is fine, even the moon in Hong Kong is round. A Liang's father said, "Everything is fine in Hongkong. How about Hong Kong's feet? "

7. Xiao Xin's mother wanted to wean Xiao Xin, so she said to Xiao Xin, "Honey, you have grown up and become a little man. If you breastfeed, other children will laugh at you. " Xiao Xin said, "Then why does father still eat mother's milk? Dad is not afraid of being laughed at? "

8. Mom and Dad want their children to sleep in a room by themselves, so they say, "When the children are older, sleep by themselves, and don't let adults sleep with them." The child said, "Dad, you are so old, how can you let your mother sleep with you?"

9. The prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. The third shot. Then the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's leg and said, Brother, strangle me! That's fucking scary!

10, one family has a daughter, and at the same time, two families come to ask for relatives. The owner is ugly, but the family is rich; Xi Jialang is good-looking, but poor. Parents ask their daughters which one they want to marry. Female shyness: it is best to eat east and live west.

1 1. Dagang was admitted to the hospital because of liver problems. During lunch break, all the patients in the ward are resting, and only Dagang smokes there. When the nurse who visited the ward came to this ward, she came over and said softly, "Little baby."

12, there is a place engraved with the word "tianxiagong", and the word "Wei" is traditional, just like the word "chicken" in mahjong tiles. All the children read "The rooster is going to heaven". Adults smiled and asked, "What does the rooster do the next day?" Answer: "Looking for hens!"

13, a country woman called the operator in the city for the first time and said, give me my husband, I want to talk to him. Operator: What's your husband's phone number? The woman cursed: I have so many husbands there, are there any?

14, the mother asked her 6-year-old son: Our family is going to raise a rabbit. We should choose one person to feed the rabbit delicious food, one person to clean the room and one person to play with the rabbit. what are you going to do？ The son replied without hesitation: Be a rabbit!

15, a little man was caught stealing a coat and sent to court. The judge looked angry and said, why are you here again? Didn't you stand here for stealing a coat three years ago? The thief said unjustly, sir, think about it. How long can an old coat last?

16, dad has a polygraph. He asked Xiao Ming: How was your math performance today? Xiao Ming replied: A! The polygraph rang. No, it is B. The machine is ringing again! Dad said angrily, I got an A before! The polygraph turned over.

17, to be honest, what is your relationship with Turkey? Why did she say that she would take off her clothes and wait for your enthusiasm to spend a romantic night with you? I wanted to give you an oven as a Christmas present, but now it seems unnecessary.

18, the couple rode a tandem bicycle for an outing. After climbing the big slope, my husband gasped: I'm exhausted! Wife wipes a sweat: Yes, it's too steep! If I hadn't been stepping on the brakes, I would have slipped!

19 one day, a certain gentleman met a friend, so he went forward to say hello and chatted. He asked his friend, "I heard that your brother is on the Chinese national football team?" Hearing this, my friend shouted, "There's your brother!"

20. "Son, did you post my letter?" "Yes!" "Did you buy stamps and post them as I told you?" "I'm not that stupid. I stuffed it into the mailbox when no one was around, saving money on stamps! "

2 1, Xiao Ming often hugs girls' faces in kindergarten. The teacher criticized Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said aggrieved, "Why can my father kiss my mother, and my mother can kiss me, but I can't kiss my child?"

22. Wife: Did you see the man sitting next to you? He has been drinking since I refused his proposal five years ago? Shouldn't you cherish me more? Husband: I really don't understand; Has he celebrated for so long?

23. A Dai said: My wife said that if one day she won the lottery and didn't give me money, she would immediately divorce and go abroad. She doesn't know that I bought the same number with her for five years, and then I'll see if she can laugh.

24. It is said that "the cooked duck flew away", so how can we keep the duck from flying away? I don't know. What about you? That is to give it a wing, because "it is difficult to fly with wings." "Dude, how was the date?" "It can only be said that it is half the battle." "What do you mean, half the battle?" "It's very simple. You see, I went on this date, but she didn't. "

25. The reporter asked the high jump champion, "Do you know who jumps highest?" The high jump champion replied, "My wife!" The reporter asked again: "Why?" A: "When I didn't give her a bonus, she jumped higher than me!" " "

On 26th, A Dai took the elevator to the building and stood beside the elevator control panel, but he didn't press the button. Someone asked: Why not press the elevator? A Dai replied awkwardly: The button on the 62nd floor is too high, so I am embarrassed to jump down and press it.

27. Dad told Xiaoming that chickens lay eggs, ducks lay duck eggs and geese lay goose eggs. Xiao Ming looked at his father and said, I see, then this bastard should be an asshole!

28. In the zoology exam, there is a question about naming birds according to their legs. A classmate will not hand in his papers in advance. The invigilator asked what his name was. Students roll up their trouser legs and stretch their legs and say, please judge according to your legs!

29. The couple took a taxi to go through the divorce formalities. The wife asked: How much is it to the Civil Affairs Bureau? The driver said: Ten dollars! The husband then asked, shall we go together? The driver said, still ten dollars! The wife said to her husband, you are worthless!

30. It is said that people who cross-cut apples on Christmas Eve and get the five-pointed star composed of apple seeds can realize their wishes, so you bought a lot of apples and collected a lot of seeds, and finally got what you wanted and became a recognized idiot.

3 1. A young man is riding a bike in the street. In order to show off his riding skills, he didn't hold the handlebar with both hands. A passerby saw it and reminded him: good palm (good head)! The young man waved his hand and responded loudly: comrades have worked hard!

32360 said I would supervise you. Qq said to play, don't be evil! 360 says I supervise you, I will deduct it. What did qq say? Seriously, well, with or without you, I can't avoid you!

33. The three-year-old son asked his father: Why are you the father and I am the son? Dad replied: Because I am taller than you! The son nodded: "Then I will grow taller than you in the future. You have to call me dad!" "

34. A man ran to the temple to scold the Buddha. After he finished cursing, the Buddha said to him, "If you give a gift to others and others don't accept it, whose gift is it?" "It's mine." "Well, I won't take anything you just said."

Feifei: You don't love me as much as before. Now you don't ask why when you see me crying. A Ju: I'm sorry, because my financial ability is not as good as it used to be. I have to go to big shopping malls every time I ask questions. I can't ask.

36. Feifei: "A Ju, where is Qianlie County?" Ah Zhu was surprised: "Why do you ask this?" Feifei: "I told you, don't tell anyone. Someone next door said that Qianlie County sent salt, I want to see it! " "

37. A Ju stood in front of the shredder, at a loss. Ask the secretary: How to use this thing? Secretary: Simple. He took a thick stack of reports from his hand and stuffed them into the shredder. A Ju: Thank you, so where did the copy come from?

A Ju asked his girlfriend: What do you think of our future? My girlfriend wrote "Wan" in Aju's hand. A few days later, my girlfriend called and asked why Aju didn't look for her. Zhu said, didn't you say we were finished? Girlfriend nu way: I wrote I love you!

39. 18, the polar bear resolutely left the North Pole. Relatives and friends stayed, but the polar bear decided to leave. Relatives and friends repeatedly asked, and the polar bear roared: "It's so cold!"

40. The leaves are green and the grass grows tall. In this season, I want to discuss with you. Prices are soaring and money is not enough. Why do many people eat feed and eat more leaves and grass? The reply is ok, but I still want to eat more feed if I don't reply!

4 1, the wife pointed to the magazine and said to her husband: this article says: in the shopping mall, women look at the goods and men look at the prices. That's right! The husband waved his hand: Yes! What I look at most when I wait for you in the mall is the watch!

42. I always feel that time is especially good for you, and youth is always around you, but I don't know why everyone says you are in your thirties. The next time someone says that, you will say: you are only in your thirties, and I haven't had enough!

43, finally know the reason why you are single so far, Valentine's Day, you don't send chocolate; You don't send roses for your girlfriend's birthday; When you are tired, you don't give her a shoulder to lean on; When you are sad, you don't give her toilet paper and let her wipe her tears. You, you, let me not talk about you! Hey hey.

44. A pair of sisters were walking when they saw a magic lamp and an elf appeared: I promised you a wish. Sister: No matter what my sister wishes, I want her three times! My sister's wish is: I hope to weigh 45 kilograms!

45. The slug wants to marry the snail. The snail said, I have a runny nose because of the cold. I don't want to buy a house Stop daydreaming! The slug said, what if you have a house? You have never been a house slave in your life, let alone a humble abode!