My husband asked me to claim his four-year-old illegitimate child.

My husband asked me to claim his four-year-old illegitimate child.

The netizen wrote that my husband and I have been married for more than 20 years and our feelings have always been very good. He works elsewhere. Although we live apart, we often contact each other. Either he comes or I leave. I feel that the separation between the two places has not affected our feelings. He has always loved me and been very kind to me, so I can't find out that he gave birth to a boy with another woman.

We have a girl of 16 years old. He often jokes that he wants a boy and wants another boy with me. People will laugh when I say I want a boy at my age. I didn't expect that he really had a boy with another woman outside, and I didn't know until he told me.

Now that the child is 4 years old, he asked me to recognize the child and said that if I did, I would take the child back to school. I thought about forgiving him, thinking that the child was adopted, but he was still lying to me, still with that woman, and the child would not be wanted. He has no regrets at all. I'm afraid I can't bear it at this rate. I asked for divorce, but he refused. His behavior makes me sick. What should I do?

Teacher Li replied that your husband must be very strong to do such a thing. He knows you can't do anything about him, so he dares to be so bold and openly ask you to accept his illegitimate child.

There must be a way to deal with what has happened.

How to treat children, not only you and your husband have the final say, but also your own mother. Whether you want to see it or not, I suggest you meet the child's mother first and listen to her thoughts. Your husband wants you to claim this child and take it back to school. At the same time, he was confused about the woman, and the child didn't take over, indicating that he still needed time to deal with the problems of the child and the two women. The decision you make with your child's mother affects the child's stay and your marriage.

If the mother of the child is willing to give the child away, it means that she doesn't want to marry your husband, and there is no threat to your marriage. You just need to consider whether you are willing to accept this child and her husband. If you don't accept children, you may force your husband to leave, and he won't ignore his precious son who was born in danger. To accept a child, you have to be prepared to face this woman for a long time. The child is the mother's heart, and your husband is the child's father. It's impossible for a mother to deny your husband and children. Even if she is willing to leave, the child will be her eternal pain. She won't forget the child, and the child won't forget her. It is possible for the child to go to her when she is older, and she may come back to find the child. Also, when you see children, you will think of your husband's past. Children will make you never forget your husband's betrayal, and it will hurt to see them. In movies and TV series, I photographed a loving woman who regarded her husband's illegitimate child as her own. It is an art higher than life, and it is to carry forward the great love of the world. In reality, it is difficult for someone to do it.

If the mother doesn't agree to send the child, it means she wants to be with your husband. What you need to face is whether to divorce your husband, not whether to accept the children. Children should always be with your husband.

The advantage of divorce is that you have bad breath and hope to form a happy family again. The downside is that your daughter will lose her father, you will lose her husband, and the man you are looking for may not be as good as him (from your description, if he doesn't have this illegitimate child, he is a good man). If you don't get divorced, the advantage is that your daughter has a father and you have a husband. The disadvantage is that you have to face this unfaithful man, this bastard who humiliated you deeply, and the woman who haunts you like a ghost.

Take the lesser of the two evils. What should I do? Only you can decide that life is yours, and I have no right to help you choose.

I want to emphasize that children are innocent, and children born out of wedlock are no different from those born in wedlock in law. How to decide on the principle of benefiting children's growth, don't take it out on this child.