The mode of marriage is free love or blind date, but the ultimate goal of the two is the same.

We young people usually like the love mode without parental intervention and think that we are free, such as free love. In the vast sea of people, I hope to meet the other half, communicate with each other and fall in love again. However, when we have no conditions to create free love or miss free opportunities, we can only seek another way: blind date.

Blind date, as its name implies, is a network of relationships paved through the introduction of relatives and friends, and it is a love mode introduced by people familiar with parents. This model is somewhat contradictory to most young men and women. The reason is that the introducer has been replaced by parents, and parents and relatives have a strong personal will when introducing the object, and always hope that their children will act according to their standards. On the contrary, free love is the result of children's choice according to their own mate selection criteria.

But they also have some similarities: free love is introduced by your classmates and friends, and blind date is also introduced by others, but the introducer is replaced by someone he is not familiar with but his parents are familiar with.

Secondly, about free love and blind date, the two are more and more consistent. The construction of marriage mostly depends on the network of relatives and friends, and parents are relatively cautious about introducing it. Parents will only allow their children to go if their family, looks, personality and other aspects match.

Blind date is often more certain than free love, and emotional expression is more direct, but it is rarely the final decision. Blind date is more like matchmaking. There is still a long period of emotional cultivation after men and women get to know each other. More importantly, it depends on whether both men and women are willing to do it.

Free love is often the result of the free development of young men and women, but it is also tested by parents. Being led in for the first time was a real test. Parents' observation, scrutiny and silence, as well as the nervousness and formality of both men and women, often bring a subtle atmosphere to the scene. Young men and women's every move, dress, talk and manners will be observed in all aspects, and parents' gentle feelings for their children have generally become complex critical eyes.

Let's start with my cousin's love history.

On the fourth day of Lunar New Year's Eve this year, the sun appeared, sweeping away the cold of the previous day. These encouraging signs are very important for a bride-to-be who is about to get married and her family. This day is my cousin's engagement day.

My cousin and I grew up playing together, only a few months older than her. Later, because I went to other provinces to study, our contact time became less and less. My cousin in my memory is still a little girl with a ponytail behind her. I didn't expect that she is now a big girl with burning charm. When there is a lot of confusion, my little cousin is already an adult. In fact, my cousin's road to love is not smooth sailing. In the words of the older generation, there are many good things, so she has experienced a lot of right and wrong, and now she has good things.

My cousin's family is in a county-level city in the middle of the province, and her family's economy is fairly solid. Her first love was in college. She went to college in the provincial capital city and met a boy. The two talked for four years until their cousin graduated from college, and their feelings have been very good.

Originally, love in college was unknown and low-key. After observing and speculating about my cousin for a long time, I was caught by menstruation and was known by my family. Then, my uncle asked my cousin to take her boyfriend home, saying it was a dinner party, but it was actually an observation.

The boy attended the family dinner, talking and laughing, being polite and behaving appropriately. This has won the satisfaction of menstruation.

The main dissatisfaction comes from my uncle, who has only one daughter and the baby is tight. Although the man is from the provincial capital, he is too far from home. Secondly, the man's family is superior, but his parents are not harmonious and almost on the verge of divorce. My uncle thinks that the man's family is too complicated, and he is afraid that the docile daughter will suffer when she gets married and can't cope. So I often discourage my cousin from breaking up with that boy as soon as possible, but after all, the relationship between my cousin and that boy has gone through many years. Where is the break? My cousin doesn't listen, but also meets boys or talks on the phone from time to time. The boy asked to go to his cousin's house again, but his uncle firmly refused. In this way, my cousin struggled in the middle and was in a dilemma. Half a year later, due to family pressure, my cousin chose to break up with that boy.

Not long after, my cousin listened to the arrangement of the family to go on a blind date. The blind date is a local person, and all aspects of family conditions are very popular with uncles and aunts. Maybe it's because I haven't got over my last relationship. My cousin didn't respond to the man. The blind date man was very satisfied with his cousin and pursued it hard, but he was finally rejected by his cousin.

The boy who finally appeared at my cousin's wedding was met by my cousin at the driving school. The two met and fell in love for less than two months. Cousin and that boy get along very happily. The boy's height of 1.8 meters makes her very happy. Two months later, my cousin went to the man's house and was welcomed by the man's house. The uncle here is also very satisfied with the boy. The boy's family is local and works in a local company. The man's parents are the management of a company in this city, and his family is well-off. When I went to my uncle's house for dinner, I already saw the boy sitting at the banquet, and his manners were elegant. His jokes made the family laugh.

It can be seen that whether it is free love or blind date, success must go through two levels: children and parents.

It can be seen that whether we young people choose free love or finally succumb to blind date, whether we succeed or not, we will eventually experience the intervention and control of our parents. My cousin's story illustrates this point well.

For children, it is more emotional, pay attention to the compatibility of two people, right? It is concrete interaction and getting along with each other, as well as mutual growth. For parents, it is more from hardware conditions, such as family conditions, education, looks and so on. Who carries more weight, parents or children? I think there are the following aspects:

First, personality differences. Whoever is tough and stubborn can usually get compromise from the other side. Second, according to their achievements in society. If the parents' family economy is superior, they will have more say. If parents' social achievements are average, children with higher education level may take the initiative. Third, the strength of feelings between young men and women. The stronger the relationship between men and women, the smaller the gap between parents' standards and alienation.

Does this mean that parents and children stand in opposition to each other? In fact, the standards of the two usually overlap and penetrate each other. Parents' standards will have a far-reaching impact on their children's views on marriage and love, especially for older men and women. The clearer the purpose of marriage, the more prominent the impact.

About free love and blind date, the ultimate goal is the same: nothing more than men and women stepping into the palace of marriage and the grave of love. However, whether it is free love or blind date, in the process of combining with each other, one problem can't be avoided: the door is right.

Both men and women grow up on the emotional and spiritual levels, but in terms of material life, their economic bases are very different, which will make two lovers fall from heaven to the abyss at once. Modern society, considering the final marriage problem, will mention this. We can't say whether this is right or wrong, but the emotion under the door will be a shackle.

It limits the scope of men and women's feelings and can only live in one corner. It makes the feelings of men and women finally return to the economic level, and makes both men and women face the test of reality. Then, marriage and love are like a market of equivalent exchange, and men and women are like commodities, and they are equivalent by shopping around. Only when both sides have balanced capital can emotions be allowed.

It's cruel to say so, but this is the reality. Therefore, the love and marriage of young men and women always swing and interweave on the emotional and economic basis. Or obedience, or resistance, or cooperation, or deviation, staged a variety of love-hate stories.

In any case, as long as we are willing to get married, it makes no difference which way we choose to get married. We will also face the test of each other and our parents, and we will also face the troubles at home. How to solve them will test the courage and wisdom of our younger generation. Unless you don't want to get married, you don't have any trouble in this area.