Complete works of Sohu jokes

Complete works of Sohu jokes:

1, I think I'm a little paranoid. So good at getting fat and stunned, but I have no idea how to work hard to get rich.

2. A taxi driver said that day, since installing WeChat? Didi? He can earn 1000 yuan a month. However, due to frequent use of WeChat, the extra 1 0,000 yuan is not enough for the room rate.

The scariest thing in the world is that my father is, my son is, my friend is, my daughter-in-law is Song Qinglian, my son-in-law is, my father-in-law is Song, and my neighbor is.

4. I heard that people who are good-looking usually have low IQ. I think they are speaking ill of me!

5, these two days are really depressing, and I have to be woken up several times a night. . . It seems that we need to buy a humidifier. . .

6. Korean dramas ruined women in China, while Japanese dramas ruined men in China.

7. Do you want your first birthday? Grasp the week? I have a pencil in one hand and a pen in the other, which makes my parents very happy. It was not until many years later that they understood the meaning of "Bi Er"?

8. Orange warning for outdoor activities: Due to the influence of excessive drinking last night, your body will have local discomfort today, mainly dizziness, pain and weakness of limbs. It is best to stay indoors to avoid accidents. It will gradually improve in the next two days, suitable for outdoor activities!

9. The reason why I set boss key is that I am afraid of BOSSKEY!

10, the power of liquor is enormous, and the average person drinks a bottle:

Dizziness for 6 hours

Courage+

Vision -40%

Listening -50%

Physical resistance +30%

Physical output +40%

Attack speed -50%

Language output -40%

Strength +20%

Agility -40%

Memory -80%

Intelligence -50%

Straight-line walking ability -80%

True +70%

Great adventure +60%

The big move ability directly abandons people, and the adverse reaction is to start bragging 100%!

Complete works of Sohu jokes II:

1, you are stupid because you are too smart!

2. If I had money, I would say what if I were here?

3. Today, I found a VIP card of a matchmaking agency, which reads: You can enjoy a 30% discount on blind date with this card for more than eight times.

Now even borrowing money has become a good moral character, which shows that the risk of borrowing money is high and there are many shameless people.

Actors in China should go abroad. Is there gold abroad? Bear? This prize suits them very well; The actresses in China should stay. Does China have a gold medal? Chicken? This award is specially designed for them.

6. Maturity is for strangers, stupidity is for friends, and naivety is for people you like.

7. Girls like to be alone and want to watch a Korean drama with male gods. Boys like a person and want to watch a Japanese drama with the goddess.

8. Don't stay in bed unless you can make money in bed-Mr. Cang.

9, I admit that women are like clothes, but my income. . . Just wear underwear. . .

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