Funny jokes about blind date self-introduction

Self-introduction is just a few short sentences, but it is necessary to tell many aspects of a person and let others remember. So, it's not as simple as it looks. Below I will bring you a funny joke about blind date self-introduction for your reference!

Excerpts from funny jokes about self-introduction of blind date 1. The second brother is over 30, and his girlfriend has talked for more than a dozen times. Either others don't like him or he looks down on others. Mom is in a hurry, but my brother always says? Fate has not arrived, fate has not arrived! ? . Second brother went on a blind date again yesterday. When he got home at night, the whole family scrambled to ask him how he felt. Second brother smiled. You can't guess, that girl and I are really predestined! ? Hearing this, my mother said happily, Great! Please, what's the fate? Second brother:? That girl was my first blind date eight years ago. ?

2. Eat with a blind date. In order to respect the girl, ask her to order. She only ordered one: a large plate of hairtail. So I started eating. After eating, the girl smiled disdainfully, paid the money and left. The next day, I called the middleman. The middleman relayed the girl's words: boys eat hairtail at sixes and sevens and their tongues are not flexible. Forget it. ?

Colleagues told me that now blind date women no longer directly ask the man if he has a house or a car, but ask:? How much is the parking fee in your community for a month? I was shocked to hear that. This question is too TM artistic, I have to accept it!

4. I went on a blind date today, and the wretched man opposite has been whispering. After a long time, I finally heard clearly: turning off the lights is the same, is it the same?

5. Ahua told Xiaoli happily: After being introduced, I went on blind date 10 times in a row and finally met someone. ? Xiaoli is curious: Is it predestined? What did you say?/Sorry? Jane is shy: he is my first blind date. ?

6. I like blind date, because my mother won't tell me when she buys new clothes on blind date!

7. Let's talk about family first. When dating, the man asked:? You, do you have a brother? Woman:? No? The man remembered that he would talk about diet next and asked:? Do you usually like eggplant? (Any kind of food) Woman's answer: Don't like it? Then we can talk about philosophy. The man asked: If you have a brother, do you think he will like eggplant?

8. A colleague's sister, 22 years old, went on a blind date the day before yesterday. The atmosphere was awkward, and she was looking for a topic. The man said, what's your favorite dish? My sister thought for a moment and said shyly, I think I cook boiled water well! ?

9. A certain gentleman has a super bull number:15815815858. Leave your number after the blind date and say:1581581585438. There was no news at all. I asked the introducer and replied: I don't stutter.

10. On a blind date, the young man saw the girl with a book in her hand and said, you like reading books on steelmaking! I like it too. The girl shook her head inexplicably, and the boy asked: How do you think steel was tempered?

The funny jokes about self-introduction of blind date recommend that blind date is bitter and tiring, and it doesn't match for a long time.

Smoke and sugar, or yellow.

Parents followed, family followed, and they frowned.

Some say it's not good, some say it's good, and it's not the end yet.

When it comes to family and age, it is impossible to farm at home.

I was annoyed, smiling, and shocked to see each other.

Picking tall and thin is like buying pork in the market.

Look at the five senses, look at the appearance, and react slowly.

First of all, smiling, words and deeds are very important.

Sweet mouth, quick eyes. You can only say good things, not bad things.

Let a man smoke when he sees him, and grab candy when he sees a woman.

Chatting and chatting, it cost two thousand yuan to go out to play.

Buy clothes, buy gifts, buy this and buy that.

Asking for a deposit and dowry is really too high.

It's not over after the engagement, and we need to know each other for another six months.

When it comes to clarity, when it comes to darkness, a mistake is blown.

Pick a day, choose a time, and decide when to get married.

Getting married is really more difficult than fighting.

Woman: Do you have a house and a car? If not, then don't say it.

Man: I have a house and a car, but are you a virgin?

Woman:?

Man: Even if I don't have a house or a car, I will have one in the future, but if you are not a virgin now, will you?

W: I was.

M: If I used to have a house and a car, and now my career is frustrated, will you accompany me to tide over the difficulties and make a comeback?

Woman: You don't have a house or a car now. Only people with brains will marry you!

Man: So you were a virgin and had sex with me?

Woman:?

If you love me, you should love my people, not my movies.

If you love me too, you should love my people, not my car and house.

Woman:?

W: So are you a virgin?

M: No.

W: Then what right do you have to ask me to be a virgin?

Man: Do you have a house and a car?

Woman: No.

Man: Then why do you ask me to have a house and a car?

Woman: Men and women are different. You are a man. You must provide a house and a car!

M: Yes, there are differences between men and women. Even if I am not a virgin, you must be a virgin.