Jokes after the final exam

1. Grade five Chinese exam questions: _ _ Meat _ _ The standard answer is: the law of the jungle. A student can't think of an answer. The final answer is: beef is fixed.

2. There is a question and answer in the examination paper of a medical college student: "Four benefits of breastfeeding."

The student quickly wrote down three benefits:

1. No heating is required.

2. Don't be stolen by the cat.

You can drink it at any time.

At the end of the answer, I can't think of it. After thinking for a while, he suddenly had an epiphany and wrote:

This container is beautiful.

As soon as the students return to the classroom, tell them, "Teacher, there are many ants in the toilet!"

The female teacher nodded and suddenly thought of ants.

This word has been taught since the beginning of school. I want to test whether the children remember this word.

Then he asked the children, "What did the ant say?"

As a result, the child looked blank and answered after a while: "Ant ... he ... he didn't speak!" " "

4. A class in a medical college conducted an oral test, and the professor asked a student what the oral dose of a certain medicine was each time.

A minute later, he found that his answer was wrong. It should be 5 mg, so he quickly stood up and said, "Does the professor allow me to correct it?"

The professor looked at his watch and said:

"No, the patient died 30 seconds ago because of an overdose!"

It is said that there was a mid-term exam with five questions to test phrases. We all know it by heart, but we can't remember one question. The topic is this:

John and Mary made up after their quarrel.

After the exam, everyone smiled strangely and said nothing.

A few days later, after correcting the paper, the teacher came in reluctantly and said that there was a question that everyone was wrong, and everyone actually answered love.

The correct answer is up, because make up means' reconciliation' (quarrel)

6. A teacher of philosophy department only took one composition in the midterm exam: "What is courage?"

Just as everyone was thinking hard about how to write, a classmate handed in his paper!

However, he only wrote five words: "This is courage."

The final exam came, and the teacher still only took one question: "This is the topic, please answer."

Everyone still can't write, but this classmate handed in his paper soon.

He wrote: "This is the answer, please give points."

The teacher was very angry. He summoned the classmate:

"I have two questions for you. After answering the first question, you don't have to answer the second one. "

Classmate: "Hmm."

Teacher: "How many hairs do you have?"

Classmate: "123,601."

Teacher (! ? ): "How do you know?"

Classmate: "I don't have to answer this question."

There is a clever student in the third grade class of primary school, but it is difficult for him to settle down and listen to the class.

One day, he said to the teacher, "I know enough." There is no need to continue studying. "

Teacher: "Oh, really? You only read until the third grade. What are you going to do? "

Student: "Teaching the second grade."

Six-year-old Xiao Fang is so cute that she is often proposed by boys in her class.

One day, Xiao Fang came home and said to his mother, "Mommy! Xiao Qiang proposed to me today, proposed to me. "

Mother casually said, "Does he have a regular job?"

Xiao Fang thought for a moment and said, "He is in charge of cleaning the blackboard in our class."

8. In a political class, the teacher said, "What is the three noes policy?"

"I don't know, I don't know, don't ask me."

9. In high school, the whole school should wear school uniforms, and some students who repeat their studies never wear them. The teacher in charge of this field squats at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw that the classmate didn't wear a school uniform and asked him why he didn't wear it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why should I wear mourning clothes?

10. An art teacher is very famous. A newspaper has a big report with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, some students always told me that your teaching is really good, and you even published photos in the newspaper ..." A student: "Looking for you?" From then on, the art teacher refused the student to take art classes.

1 1. He was looking at the comic book of the Saint I bought before, but he didn't know that he had seen N episodes. Suddenly, he said to me: The most powerful weapon among the saints should be "the blood of Athena"!

I said, I think so.

"For sure! Because any object that sticks to Athena's blood casually will get advanced sublimation. For example, the holy garments are made of bronze holy garments glued to Athena's blood. "

I said, "yes, that's what the book says."

The child said, "So ... when Athena came, wouldn't the toilet become a golden god toilet?"

I am dizzy: "I think so ..."

The child continued: "The reason why Poseidon wants to marry Athena is to practice his golden gun, don't you think?"

I'm completely dizzy!

12. A teacher who doesn't teach well is in their class, and a classmate raises his hand:

"Teacher, I want to make a phone call ..."

"What's your name in class?" The teacher said crossly.

"I want to call the police! Someone here is cheating money on the podium! "

The whole class laughed wildly, and the teacher was so angry that he could not speak. .........

13. When the professor was in class, he found someone sleeping.

I was so angry that I asked my classmates to wake him up.

I didn't expect the student to say disdainfully ....

"You let him sleep. Call yourself! "

14. A guy was sleeping in class ... and was found by a very mixed math teacher.

He was angry. He asked A to solve the problem in front of the blackboard. .....

If you can't write, prepare to humiliate A in public.

In fact, Teacher A began to sour him before he went to the blackboard. ..

It's a shame to dare to sleep in class with such poor grades.

Is your head at home ... do you sleep all day? ...