Humorous sentences commonly used in life

Complete works of humorous sentences commonly used in life

In real life or work and study, everyone has been exposed to classic sentences. In tone, sentences can be divided into declarative sentences, interrogative sentences, imperative sentences and exclamatory sentences. What kind of sentences are classic? The following humorous sentences are carefully arranged in my life for reference only. Let's have a look.

The best friend is always a wallet. If we lose weight, we will feel extremely distressed.

2. After becoming mothers, many women suddenly understand what "father loves like a mountain"! Shan usually just stays there doing nothing, standing on tiptoe.

If you are willing to tear my heart off layer by layer, you will go to jail and I will tell you.

Never be fat, otherwise, if you are poor, no one will believe you are a beggar.

Now college students want to find a boyfriend and girlfriend when they are full and have nothing to do. I'm great. I don't have enough to eat.

6. All shall be well that ends well for the rich, and the poor become house slaves.

7. Don't use honey traps on me in the future, or I will play with you.

8. Love is complementary. I am not so angry when I think that my boyfriend is bad because I am too good.

We should keep quiet in class, after all, it is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

10. In this life, the first truth I understand is that people are iron and beds are magnets.

1 1. I'm so afraid of heights that I can't bend my head to change money all my life.

12. I'm really worried about getting wet today. I'm afraid I'm cute.

13. I heard girls say that overlap is cute, and I have completely mastered this skill. I, I, I, I stutter.

14. When you stop to have a rest, don't forget that others are still running, so please trip him!

15. As long as you work very hard, one day you will find that you can never close the gap with the rich.

16. If life deceives you, don't be sad, don't be impatient, as long as you are cheated a few times, the habit will become natural.

17. As long as you are willing to work hard, there is nothing in the world that you can't screw up!

18. I didn't know until I worked hard that there were many things, and it was still a waste of time to stick to it.

19. Be a calm person and eat fatter, heavier and steadier.

20. The handsome one is called uncle, and the ugly one is called old driver!

2 1. Boys work hard now and give your beloved girl more money in the future.

22. Sometimes you don't know what despair is without hard work.

After working hard for so long, anyone with a little talent should show some signs of success.

24. As long as it is a stone, it won't shine anywhere, so don't tangle.

Common humorous sentences in life 2 1. Fortunately, I am a fat man, and I can pinch my stomach when I am sad.

I never talk about people, but I always talk about myths.

3. Don't be lazy with me, I'll be lazy with you.

4, life I am sorry for you, because I have never been good to you.

5, seventeen or eighteen years old, angry, thrown into the water, the water can be boiled.

I know it's not good to waste time, but I really enjoy it.

7. I thought meeting me was your fate, maybe your hurdle.

Since you are a loser, I will use it.

9. Hot and grumpy. Stop it if I don't laugh.

10, one white covers all the ugliness. Are you white or ugly?

1 1, hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

12, you should learn from Tencent, and call me dear as soon as you get online.

13. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

14. Couples come every year, especially this year.

15, you asked me how much I love you. Money can represent my heart.

16, close your left eye and see your lovely shyness.

17, I am so cute that even mosquitoes want to kiss me.

18, live fish will go upstream, and dead fish will drift with the tide.

19. Why does God always doze off when I am unlucky?

20. Pretend to be a city dweller. Now the earth is called a village.

2 1, there are no more tears in my eyes, some are full of tears.

22. Some people can't say anything, but I just want to see him take a bath.

23. I didn't mean to be different. How can I have outstanding taste?

24. I am online and you are offline. Why didn't you die while I was alive?

25. Wear school shoes and take the road of learning hegemony.

26. You are my special concern, but you are not my recent visitor.

27. Poor grades are temporary, but my beauty is always there.

28. It's very hot, isn't it? It will be cold on Qixi Day.

29. Adults are overdue children and the elderly are invalid adults.

30. I have the ability to pick up girls, but unfortunately I am a girl.

3 1, lend me your daughter for one year, and I will pay you back one big and one small next year.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you!

You can't have it both ways, but you can be single and poor.

34. None of you can bully her, only I can!

35. Don't laugh at your cell phone at home, your parents will think you are in love.

36. Because I have a glib mouth and jade teeth, I don't talk easily.

37. Skipping classes is a person's happiness, and attending classes is a group of people's loneliness.

38. Your life is like a clothes hanger, covered with a green hat.

Teacher, can we change the teaching method? Like dreams.

40. Look at your wonderful bones. Being with me is good material.

4 1, the most painful love triangle in the world, I love to eat, and fat loves me.

42. Everyone else has hit the South Wall. I must make a lot of money repairing the South Wall.

43. Insomnia, I picked up a physics book and fell asleep soon.

44. When you smile, I collapse and my heart is pounding.

45. The secret of staying young is to have a restless heart.

46. Be a carefree eater and an idle eater.

47. If you like cheating so much, why don't you go to ballet?

48. When I said I couldn't afford to be hurt, it was the day when your house caught fire.

49. I really envy you for having a handsome and witty me on your friend list.

50. Don't talk to me about feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.

5 1, your name is up to me. Hmm? Call your husband!

52. When I met him, the whole person changed. Neither bullet could penetrate my face.

No matter what happens, don't bow your head, because you have a double chin.

54, you boy, you are really crazy, and your breath is bigger than beriberi.

55. Long time no see, I don't know how ugly you are.

56. To live is to toss and turn, because we will all die for a long time.

57. Believe it or not, I patted you on the wall and couldn't get it off.

As a monster, my wish is to destroy an Altman.

59. Other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies.

60. The night will not be kind to those who sleep late, it will give you dark circles.

I am unhappy because I don't want to work overtime. I am very unhappy because I don't want to work overtime. I am very unhappy because I don't want to work overtime.

The leader won't let you work overtime. The leader will only give you a task on Friday and then tell you to have a good rest at the weekend. No hurry. Just show it to him before work on Monday.

Pour a cup of tea in the morning and remember to have a cup after work at night!

4. In the empty building, one person worked overtime until late at night.

I would rather forgive others myself than let others forgive you. Refuse to work overtime.

6. He will add me.

7. What company to go to and what classes to add.

8. I work overtime when others have a holiday. I promise to have a good rest and fight again next year!

9. In order not to go to work tomorrow, in order to leave tomorrow, it will be dawn!

10. In this weather, the northwest wind blows when you go to work, and you have to wait for the northwest wind when you don't go to work.

1 1. Be tired, because we still have to live, and we can't live without work. Continue to work overtime on weekends.

12. I haven't left work on time for a long time, and I really don't want to work overtime today.

13. I feel that they, especially they, completely regard the process of drawing a plan as a pile of endless work, pushing the work that people really love to the end and urging them. People don't want to work overtime, and people can finish what they should do without working overtime. Why do you accompany them to work overtime?

14. Even if you can't choose a job, you can choose your own work attitude.

15. We don't fight for father, mother, work and money. We just work hard. But refused to work overtime

16. My husband stayed up late and worked overtime until the early hours of the morning in the last two weeks. Sudden hypoglycemia in class today. There is a piece of chocolate brought back from abroad by his classmate in the bag. This fool won't give it to me for a long time. Every time he sees something delicious, interesting and beautiful, he is the first to take it home for me to eat, but he can't even die!

17. I've been working overtime every day recently, and I haven't had a rest on weekends. My heart is really tired.

18. In the early morning of the weekend, the company suddenly asked us to work overtime. Ask what, you'll know when you go. This is not a mental illness! You're dying. Are you in a hurry to be reborn Who has no plans for the weekend!

19. Mom, I have to work overtime too!

20. I've been very tired, busy and disappointed recently. Work is very tired, work is very busy, and I am disappointed with my future work, alas!

2 1. People are happy when they are simple, but they are aging when they are sophisticated. Refuse to work overtime!

There are so many things to do every day, but I don't want to work overtime because there is no overtime pay.

23. I feel like I can't vomit. A little girl came to the company and had a six-day holiday in the Mid-Autumn Festival. She was asked to make up lessons when she came back from vacation. Sorry, I only heard about making up classes, but I didn't know about making up classes. I didn't give enough holidays, so I had to make up lessons without overtime pay, which made the little girl sad and not enthusiastic about her work. I don't think I can play anymore.

24. I am tired. I am too lazy to eat.

25. I silently felt sorry for myself for three seconds. Others are on holiday. I still feel that my leg is not my own for four days in a row.

26. What will happen if the company doesn't work overtime?

27. I don't want to work overtime at night or on Saturday and weekend.

28. Endure a stomachache when working overtime. I have no medicine with me today. I failed ~

29. Some things are not knots, but scars. Refuse to work overtime!

30. Take my aunt to work overtime on Saturday, hold a meeting later, then take the students to a concert, and finally fly to Hongqiao high-speed railway station. Yes, I am a busy little superman.

3 1. The weekend is so good, but I am working overtime endlessly, overtime, overtime, overtime! I almost blew Ed up just now, trying to throw a pile of materials in his face. Overtime and not overtime are not good for personal growth, but will only waste your patience and enthusiasm. This is the most irritating.

4 1. Don't forget to add clothes when it's cold. Be careful not to catch a cold and take care of yourself, because cold medicine is expensive.

I didn't reply to your message because I was cold, but because my hands were cold.

I hope someone will not be ashamed to warm your hand when it is cold. May a bright person live in your heart.

Don't tell me it's cold, take care of yourself and put on more clothes, or take care of me or buy me clothes with money.

The coldest is not winter, but winter festivals.

6. The weather is very cold. Besides the bed, the place I want to go most is your arms.

7. The weather is very cold. If you can't give me a hug, buy me a coat.

8. Who was cold that winter? It makes people have a sore nose, a headache and feet like two pieces of ice.

9. At midnight, it was extremely cold. In the pale moonlight, the sand dunes look like a silver tomb, and there is no movement.

10, take care of yourself when it is cold. I can't borrow your coat or give you a hug.

1 1, I'm not cold, I'm cold.

12, it is cold. When you wake up from sleep at night, don't forget to open the quilt for your roommate.

13, be good to yourself, if no one holds your hand this winter.

14, there is a kind of cold, not that you feel cold, but that your mother thinks you are cold.

15, it's cold, please put on more clothes. Life lies in exercise. Don't sleep all the time. You should do more exercise. There will be a contest to pick sesame seeds and throw watermelons next year.

16, the pure winter has passed quietly, the changeable weather is always, and the unchanging mood is always!

17, I'm afraid of cold, whether it's the weather or people's hearts.

18, a little truth is worth a thousand taels of gold, a little warmth can offset the frost in Wan Li, a greeting brings warmth and sweetness, and a short message brings all my thoughts: Happy every day! Happy winter!

19, the wet and cold weather is so cold, I want to go to a warm place.

I remember it was a cold winter. If you don't want to go to class in the morning, just ask my roommate to help me ask for leave, just find a reason. Soon, the news of my heatstroke spread all over the campus.

2 1, before dawn, I felt particularly cold, so I hurried back to the dormitory and took a dress to put on.

22. The weather is as cold as a joke and life is like nonsense.

23, cold is a word, I only say it once, I know you will use snot instead.

It's so cold that even farting can be used to dry hands.

25. The person who can let me take out my mobile phone and chat with you on this day is definitely my true love.

26, two or three years, in a hurry and winter.

27. In winter, it molests me and always freezes.

28, winter is coming, it is getting cold, and your warmth and coldness are in my heart. Autumn leaves are everywhere, geese are returning home, think of me and put on more clothes.

I once threatened that I would rather freeze to death than become a dog. It was not until I was frozen into a dog today that I realized that the beautiful promise was because I was too young.

30. There is a yearning for autumn water, and there is a cold feeling that I forgot to wear long pants.

3 1, no matter how far apart we are, the heart that cares for you will never change.

32. I like big soft scarves. You can stick your whole face in it when it's cold.

33. Every second of time is flowing, and every miss represents every blessing I want to give you: happiness.

34. From September 9th, the north wind roared and the chill was pressing. This is another extremely cold winter.

35. A lonely man is widowed, and a girl says she is cold, which is actually a kind of hooliganism.

36. With the chilly wind, the yellow leaves fell into the arms of Mother Earth.

37. The freshly boiled water froze as soon as it landed.

38, the most rogue in winter, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

39. The cold winter is coming. After a heavy snow, the whole Dongfanghong has become a world of powder makeup and jade. The willow trees are covered with silver bars, and the lawn is covered with silver wires.

40, the most rogue in winter, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

4 1, don't ask me why I didn't do well in the exam, because the weather was too cold and I was unconscious.

42. Snowflakes roared and hit the face like needles, cold and biting.

43. Others laugh at me for wearing thick clothes, and I laugh at others for being frozen into dogs.

Humorous sentences commonly used in life 5 1. Cold is a word, I will only say it once, and I know you will use snot instead.

2. The page of youth will eventually turn over, but no matter how the years pass, as long as we have parents, we can still regard ourselves as children. The weather is getting colder. Go home and see your parents. Don't forget to be filial while there is still time.

3. Leaves are no exception. The cold air paralyzed them, but they had everything except the winter wind. A gust of wind blew and the leaves became active. Some leaves can't stand the sting of the cold wind, fall from the tree and sleep forever.

4. Information is like candy, a long time, very sweet! If you eat too much candy, you will be very tired! I'm afraid you are bored, so I only give you one occasionally, because I want to leave the sweetest one to you: Baby, it's cold, take care of yourself!

5. The weather is cold, the heart is hot, and clothes are added to prevent cold and evil; Foggy, deep feelings, gloves and scarves protect the body. Time is in a hurry, people are busy, what if there is more money and less money? The wind is unintentional and the heart is restless. I wish you happiness and good luck!

6. It is cold, the sound of falling flowers is known by the wind, the feeling of missing is known by the heart, the cold temperature is known by the winter, and my blessing is known by you. No flowery words, just want to send you warm wishes in the cold winter!

7. The autumn wind is strong, the autumn leaves are yellow, and the autumn rain is cool; When the autumnal equinox arrives, autumn water rises and autumn geese explode in the south; Love and blind date, friends know each other, warm care is sent today! Dear greetings, don't forget to add clothes when it's cold!

8. From September 9th, the north wind roared, the chill was pressing, and it was an extremely cold winter.

9. That winter, it was so cold that people had a nose ache and a headache, and their feet were like two pieces of ice.

10. Give you a dime, don't underestimate it; Can't buy roses and coffee, clothes and quilts; But it contains warmth, which is my sincere blessing. It's cold, take care of yourself.

1 1. The distance has widened, but the latitude and longitude have been constantly pulled, and sincere feelings are irreplaceable; Although the sky is far away, it is connected with the mountain. I deeply miss the distance, the years are not old, and the close friendship lasts forever. It's cold, I wish you a warm and wonderful life!

12. Blessing is a velvet dress, warm; Missing is an intimate cotton-padded jacket, warm; A friend is a big stove, hot; The weather turns cold, friends warm you with thoughts, warm you with blessings, and wish you Dongan!

13. When winter comes, my love will not go away with the migratory birds moving south! In the cold winter, I send sincere wishes with my fiery heart: friends, it's cold, don't forget to add clothes!

14. Late autumn, busy with health, wonderful tea; Dry mouth, drink oolong tea, moisten throat treasure; Depression, scented tea, boring running; Love fire, green tea, good heat; Anti-cold, black tea is beautiful and warms the body and mind. Tips to send, I wish you well!

15. The temperature has dropped, but what can't be lowered is the heat. The weather is cold, but what can't be cold is tacit understanding. The wind is very strong, but what can't be blown away is memories. It's winter, and all I can think about is you. In this cold day, SMS send warm, be sure to eat warm, wear warm, sleep warm, and everything is warm.

Humorous sentences commonly used in life 6 1. There are two kinds of creatures in the world who can lie on the glass, one is the gecko and the other is the class teacher.

2, don't cry there every time you are sad, crying can't solve the problem-you have to die.

3. Doing more exercise is good for your health; Making more money is good for life;

4. You talk to him about civilization, and he gives you barbarism; You reason with him, and he plays rascal with you.

5. Women in the new era went to the hall, climbed over the fence, fought for mistresses, beat hooligans, but couldn't get out of the kitchen.

6. In the past, people and things in this world only liked or disliked, liked or disliked. Later, when I grew up, I looked sophisticated and paid attention to whether I liked it or not. Slowly, they are afraid to ask themselves if they like it, and then forget the joy in their hearts.

7, people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

8. Being in a daze, doing well is called profound. If you can't do it well, you are likely to fall asleep.

9. You play with others in front of me, and I watch quietly like a stranger.

10, for men, women are sheep and career is grass. If the grass is well planted, it is good for the sheep, but if the grass is not well planted, it is only a matter of time before the sheep eat the grass planted by others.

1 1, three points are doomed, seven points depend on hard work, and ninety points are at the teacher's place.

12, the teacher said not to eat or drink before the physical examination, and the last row came out silently. Can the teacher swallow saliva? ...

13. There was an activity in a shopping mall yesterday. I heard there was a song by BiBi Zhou, so I went there. I didn't know there was a man named Zhou Bi until I got there.

14, a fitness card is like putting money into a merit box, make a wish!

15, eating life is like a train. To sum up, just eat, eat, eat.

16, I used to be young and energetic, but now my youth is gone, and I am so energetic.

17, good friends don't need too many, two are enough. Someone is willing to lend you money. He asks you for a debt, and the other party is willing to kill him. If anyone bullies me, I will carve his name on the wood and light two white candles. ...

18, life is a slap in the face and then a slap in the face, waking people from their dreams. ......

19, we spent the first four years of our lives learning to speak standing up, and then we were asked to sit down and shut up on 14.

20. Nowadays, girls are getting lazy. In the past, they used makeup to deceive others. Now they are too lazy to put on makeup. They directly deceive people with beauty cameras, and even deceive themselves.

2 1. Every time I see a couple, I will sing the song "Happy Break-up, I wish you happiness".

22. Work is like soaking white fungus. It seems that the leader has only been lost, and it is getting endless.

23. Watching more jokes is good for your mood.

24. There are only two kinds of people who can't sleep: one is holding a mobile phone in his hand, and the other is having a theater in his head.

25. Never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you will never know who the fool is.

26. A cleaner mind is conducive to spiritual thinking; Letting go of feelings is good for the mood;

27. A few days ago, I made a blind date and sent the girl home after dinner. As a result, a car flew past the girl and unconsciously tripped herself. After that, I got close, but the girl never contacted me again. I took the initiative to call and ask why. The girl said: touching porcelain is a high-risk job. She doesn't want to be a widow.

28. A man's promise is like the teeth of an 80-year-old woman, which is rarely true.

29. Modern women have three obedience and four obedience: three obedience, never gentleness, never thoughtfulness and never reason; Fourth, say no, fight no, scold no, and provoke no.

30. I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.

3 1. University is a place with strong academic atmosphere. When there is no class, we collapse on the bed like Zhang Haidi, and when there is class, we collapse on the chair like Hawking.

32. When children don't bother you, they may have grown up and left you; When your parents don't bother you, they may be dead; When your lover doesn't bother you, he may have bothered others; When friends don't bother you, there may already be a gap!

33. What do you think is the most hurtful sentence for fat people? How many months? Can you cross your legs? Did someone give you socks? ...

34. When I was particularly sleepy, my moral standards didn't wake up. Teachers should be careful.

35. There are no fat people in the world. There are many thin people, and there will be fat people!

36, three feet of freezing is not a cold day, and three layers of the lower abdomen are not a cold day.

37. driving without a license, a Shandong female driver, was investigated. Pol.ice found that the violation was more than 30 times, the vehicle was overdue, and the traffic accident sign posted on the window was not her own.

38. The female driver claimed that her driver's license, which cost 1.8 million yuan, could not be driving without a license, and asked Pol.ice to take a beautiful photo of herself when taking photos.

39. I always feel that a bed that is made too neatly will mean a little peace in my old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

40. If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so, and don't always let others move around to help you tell me you're sorry.

4 1, if you are not good to your wife, don't blame others for being good to your wife.

42. In fact, the rainbow is a white cloud!

43. Don't say that the wolf hasn't eaten mutton for five years. Cats and mice haven't eaten mice since 1940.

44. Fart is the unyielding soul of the food you eat.

45. When a large group of beautiful birds fly over your city, you should not only look up and sigh at the beauty of life, but also think that these birds are taking a shit while flying!

46. The three things I fear most in my life are: first, fear of death; second, fear of illness; third, fear of life and death.

47. My mother told me not to be an irresponsible person, so I have always been an idiot.

48. I counted my fingers and found that I was missing in your life.

49, selfie is risky ~

50. Giving more to couples is good for the family; Couples are more sticky and good for love;

5 1, heartless, can live a hundred years, have a clear conscience, not tired.

52. A young couple moved in and became neighbors with Aunt Wang. A few days later, Aunt Wang said to her husband, "The man who lives opposite us goes out to kiss his wife in the morning and at home at night. Won't it? " Aunt Wang's husband said awkwardly, "I don't know his wife very well."

53. I don't know music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

54. Actually, making an Internet product is very simple. You just need to imagine an internet user as a person with a very big temper, a very low IQ, a very impatient person, a very stingy person who won't pay a penny! Friend, is that right?

55. Whether others are willing to contribute to you is his mentality. You can't ask for feedback just because you have done something. That's greed.

56. Pretend to be hardworking and strong in front of parents, mature and kind in front of younger generations, mix well in front of peers, be sexy and free and easy in front of ambiguity, and be polite and modest in front of strangers.

57. Poverty is a thin curtain. I am here, and the first class is there.

I can resist anything but money and beautiful women.

59. The potential of a person depends on how long he overslept in the morning.

60. Why try to make money? Because I am afraid to shake hands with others. They are wearing Cartier and you are wearing a rubber band.

6 1. I went out to meet clients in the morning, and when I came back, I met a girl at the gate of the company to apply for a job in our company. We chatted at the door, and after chatting for a while, we felt very congenial, so we left each other WeChat and chatted for a while, saying that it was going to rain, and I didn't bring my umbrella. I said with an umbrella, then you should go quickly! It will rain heavily later. ......

62. The pressure of salary comes from: "former colleagues, old classmates, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-boyfriends of current girlfriends, children of parents and friends. "

63. When I was a child, I wanted to watch TV, but I could only watch news broadcast and Flying Tigers with my parents. Finally, I am the owner of my own house, so I can only take my children to see Pleasant Goat and Logger Vick!

64. I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning.

65. Today's love is like two people drinking. I'll drink. Help yourself.

66. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.

It is not difficult for me to trust you. Let me look at you first!

68. After breaking up, I shook my head smartly and threw away my wig. ...

69. I think it's good to make a phone call. Everything I say is valuable.

70. Drinking less alcohol is good for the liver; Smoking less is good for the lungs;

7 1, the past love has been formatted; Love now, this page cannot be displayed or temporarily unavailable; Future love, memory is seriously insufficient, please close some programs and try again.

72. People just live in mutual troubles, solve things in troubles, resolve troubles in things, and deepen feelings in troubles and troubles. ......

73. The wife is a periodical. If you choose her, you have to pay. Ernai is a novel, and it is very tiring to read it from beginning to end; Xiaomi is a prose poem, which is meaningful and long; Miss is a cartoon, which is readable by everyone and cheap!

74. If you are afraid of gaining weight, you are a pig, because people are afraid of being famous and strong.

75. "When I started buying lottery tickets."

76. Our childhood probably ended when I got to know The Journey to the West and his author.

77. Why have I never seen a ribbon float when I eat Dove? Why can't I see a big piece of beef when I eat Master Kong?

78. Last Singles Day, four bachelors ate hot pot together. I swear: "I will leave you next year!" " "As a result, I did it, and now I am the only one left.

79. It's not that I don't want to be a lady, it's life that makes me a bitch.

;