Ask for some English humorous jokes (translated into Chinese, preferably happened around us)

A man and his wife met some problems at home. They were silent to each other. The next week, the man realized that he needed his wife to wake him up at 5 a.m. in order to catch an early business flight to Chicago. He didn't want to be the first to break the silence, and finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me up at 5 am."

The next morning, the man woke up and found that it was 9 o'clock in the morning and he had missed the flight. Angry, he was about to see why his wife didn't wake him up, when he noticed a piece of paper beside the bed, which said, "It's 5 am, wake up!" "

Q: Why are mushrooms invited to the party?

Because they are very interesting

Q: What is the name of the hair salon next to the cemetery?

A: "Curl up and dye."

It was at the end of the school year that a kindergarten teacher received gifts from the students. The florist's son handed her a present. She shook it, raised her head and said, "I bet I know what it is." Some flowers. " "Yes," said the boy, "but how do you know?" "Oh, just a shot in the dark," she said. The next student is the daughter of the candy store owner. The teacher held her gift above her head, shook it and said, "I bet I can guess what it is." A box of candy. " "Yes, but how do you know?" The girl asked. "Oh, just a shot in the dark," said the teacher. The next gift is from the son of the hotel owner. The teacher held the parcel above his head, but it was leaking. She dabbed a drop of leakage with her finger and then put it on her tongue. "Is it wine?" She asked. "No," the boy replied with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process and dropped a big drop of liquid on her tongue. "Is it champagne?" She asked. "No," the boy replied more excitedly. The teacher took another sip before announcing, "I give up. What is it?" The boy replied cheerfully, "It's a puppy!" "

One morning, a mother tried to wake her son. "Wake up now! It's time for school. " "I don't want to go to school," the son replied. His mother said, "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school." "okay. First, all the children hate me. Second, all the teachers hate me. " "Not good enough," mother replied. "Very well," said the son. "Then give me two good reasons why I should go to school." "First, you are 50 years old. Second, you are the principal of the school. "

A young student took the final exam, with only right/wrong questions. The student sat down in the hall, stared at the test paper for five minutes, took out a coin from his pocket, started throwing coins and marked the answer sheet. Heads represent truth and tails represent falsehood. The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class were waiting anxiously. Suddenly, in the last few minutes, the young student began to throw coins desperately and was sweating profusely. The person in charge was frightened and approached the student and asked what had happened. "Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I think I should check my answers again."