Daily joke: Your girlfriend is really beautiful.

? Fearing that Tang Priest would meet a monster, Guanyin Bodhisattva sent Tang Priest a GPS to let her know the location of the monster in advance, so that she could make a detour in advance.

The GPS is ringing: 800 meters ahead is Baigujing Cave, please go around. 1500m ahead is lion camel ridge, please go around. ...

2000 meters ahead is the country of girls, please. ...

The Tang Priest turned off the GPS and said, Amitabha, I want to face the dilemma bravely! The girl country does not take detours!

2. From Goddess to Wife

How much essence have you absorbed from naivety to maturity? How many cucumbers have you warmed from dry to slippery? How many obas have you served from Hanting to Home Inn? How many splashes did you make from the goddess to the wife? How many times have you experienced from girl to woman? From autumn and winter to spring and summer, how many stockings have you worn, from school uniforms to wedding dresses, how many beds have you shaken, and how many frictions have you experienced, from pink to black and purple.

Your girlfriend is really beautiful.

In the office, a man with slender fingers is as white as jade, and a beautiful woman sits opposite him, giving birth to a pair of good claws. One day, the woman looked at the man's hand with bitterness and said, your girlfriend is really beautiful. The man was stunned first, then looked at the woman's hands and said loudly: Your boyfriend is also mighty and magnificent!

4. Be a narcissist

I don't dislike narcissism. On the contrary, I think it is much healthier for people to like themselves properly than to feel inferior and give up. You have to admit that those "little bitches" around you who boast, like to show off and don't know how to blush always integrate into life with a passion that ordinary people can't reach. Narcissism is the beginning of romantic life.

5. Wife, can you raise your legs a little?

Husband: Honey, can you raise your legs a little? Wife: No! Husband: Be good, and it will be all right soon. Wife: I don't want to move. Husband: Wife, please, I dragged the whole room. There's only room under your feet. I have to eat!

6. Took out a hundred dollars and gave it to his wife.

A friend of mine got divorced today. I asked him why. He said he was drunk and had sex with his wife last night. With that, he skillfully took out 100 yuan and gave it to his wife. I told you this wouldn't be a divorce. He said that his wife skillfully looked at the truth and gave him another fifty. . .

7. I dare not go downstairs.

When I went to work in the morning, my neighbor Mr. Wang asked me to charge his phone bill in the canteen downstairs. I asked him: Why don't you go yourself? He said: The son in the downstairs canteen looks more and more like me, and I dare not go downstairs!

8. Beauty goes to see a doctor

A beautiful woman went to see a doctor! Doctor: What's the matter? Beauty: My throat hurts! Doctor: Have you had your period? The beauty replied shyly: hmm!

9. That's enough for you.

Passing a snack bar in Shaanxi, the clerk said the Chinese hamburger was delicious. I looked at the squid stand not far away and said no. I want to eat that. The clerk said it was not delicious! The business of the whole street is bad! Just then, another shop assistant came in with a few strings of big squid and shouted, Come on, buy your favorite! It turned out that the clerk looked at me awkwardly and took a miserable bite of squid, saying that they were all neighbors, and we couldn't watch them starve to death!

10, analyze some connotative idioms.

Good understanding clothes, people who can't be scared easily and can't look around. Treating holes with stems has a long history, extensive and profound, and we will talk about the debate later. Li Wanji's yin is wet, and Li Wanji's yin is wet, which is an everlasting love. A thousand miles a day, a pillar of the sky, unfathomable, unable to tear. You can't simply build a sister and learn from each other's strengths, nor can you.