The jokes about rabbits in Best Rookie

In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests.

Let's see who finds the rabbit first.

Before the first forest was discovered by American police. They first spent half a day meeting to make a battle plan and strictly divide the work, and then

Special forces were quickly sent to the forest for a carpet search, but the meeting was postponed, the rabbit ran away and the task failed.

!

Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest for the leaders to use.

The loudspeaker shouted "Rabbit, Rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened. Fly.

The tiger went into the forest and searched again. There was no result and the mission failed!

Finally, there are only four policemen in China. First, they played mahjong all day. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. It didn't take five minutes.

Hearing the screams of the animals in the forest, the police in China were smoking, talking and laughing and dragging behind.

Seeing a black and blue bear, the bear was dying and said, "Stop fighting, I'm a rabbit ..."

On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home.

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you use carrots as fucking bait again, I'll kill you!

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

The little white rabbit was walking in the forest. When he met the wolf, he came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers.

Say, I told you not to wear a hat. The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and handed it to Xiao.

The white rabbit has two big mouths and says, "I want you to wear a hat."

Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." The same day

The tiger found his partner, the wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. This is very difficult for me. " Wipe while talking

Wipe the dust off the table: "Do you think this is ok?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat!

She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. while

Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones.

. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The Wolf nodded frequently.

Clap your hands and applaud, and the reverence for the tiger once again rushes to a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were given to the tiger outside the window.

The little white rabbit mowing the grass heard it. I hate this in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, pass."

Come on, find me a piece of meat. "Tu Tu said," So, do you want to be fat or thin? "Listen, Wolf,

Heart sank, it is a joy, the heart says it's good to have a plan B, he added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman.

"Tu Tu asked," So, do you like plump or slim? " The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand again.

I gave Tutu two big ear posts. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

A little black rabbit came to the grocery store and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was annoyed: "Why are there carrot buyers again?" Nono. "

The next day, the little black rabbit came to the grocery store again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was angry: "I said no, if you ask me again, I will knock your teeth out with my hand." "

On the third day, the little black rabbit runway grocery store asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

Without saying anything, the boss bit the little black rabbit's tooth.

The fourth day, the little black rabbit came and asked, "Boss, do you have ... carrot juice?"

[2]

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "Giraffe, Giraffe, why did you do something to hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, threw the marijuana behind her and ran with the white rabbit in the forest.

Later, they met an elephant who was about to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "Elephant, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the white rabbit, threw the cocaine behind him and ran in the forest with the white rabbit and giraffe.

Later, they met a lion who was going to fight heroin. The white rabbit said to the lion, "Lion, lion, why did you do something that hurt yourself?"

Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "

The lion looked at the syringe and the white rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed over to beat the white rabbit hard.

The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the white rabbit?"

It is so kind, cares about our health and makes us close to nature. "

The lion said angrily, "This bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy."

[3]

A white rabbit raped the wolf when he was not looking.

It's over. The white rabbit ran away and the wolf caught up with it.

The white rabbit ran away desperately until it came to a corner. When it saw a pile of cement, it plunged into it, got out and turned into a gray rabbit. It picked up a newspaper next to it and pretended to read it.

The wolf followed him, saw the rabbit and asked, "Did you see a white rabbit running past?"

The rabbit asked, "Did the white rabbit rape the wolf?"

The wolf was shocked: "I am X! Shameful things have been in the newspapers so soon. "

[4]

Walking in the forest, the ant suddenly met an elephant. The ant burrowed into the soil and stretched out a leg.

The rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing?

The ant whispered to the rabbit:

Shh ... don't make a sound, watch me trip. ...

[5]

Walking in the forest, the blind bear accidentally kicked over a jar.

An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes.

The blind bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true.

The white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true.

The blind bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again.

The blind bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches!

The white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...

[6]

The Central Intelligence Agency, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and LAPD all claim to be the best law enforcement agencies. For this reason, the president of the United States decided to let them have a try. So he put a rabbit in the forest to see how they could get it back.

The CIA sent a large number of investigators into the Woods to ask every tree. After several months of investigation, the conclusion is that the so-called rabbit does not exist.

The FBI sent people to surround the forest and ordered the rabbit to come out and surrender, but the rabbit didn't come out, so they set fire to the forest and burned all the animals in it, and refused to apologize, because it was all the rabbit's fault.

It's LAPD's turn Several policemen went into the forest, and a few minutes later, they dragged out a raccoon. Cried the raccoon; "Okay, okay, I admit that I am a rabbit. .......

[7]

Two rabbits were put in a cell. Once, they managed to escape from the cell yard. But when you get out of the door, you have to climb over the wall of 100 to reach the expressway. They climbed 60 walls together. The male rabbit asked the female rabbit, "Wife, are you tired?" Mother rabbit replied that she was not tired. The male rabbit said he was very tired, so we continued to turn. Turning to the 99th wall, the male rabbit asked the female rabbit again, "Wife, are you tired?" Mother rabbit replied, "I'm tired!" " Let's go back! "So they turned it back.