Funny Valentine’s Day quotes

If I have the chance to meet you, life will be as sweet as honey. If I marry you in this life, I will never doubt my love. You hold up behind me and are busy at home all day long. Everything is tidied up and everything is organized. Valentine's Day is approaching. May you take care of yourself and be happy and beautiful. Below is a collection of funny classic Valentine’s Day quotes that I have collected. Welcome to read them! Funny Valentine’s Day Classic Quotations 1

1. Valentine’s Day, like the Spring Festival, is both heavy with fireworks.

2. So what about Valentine’s Day, I can still celebrate it without a lover.

3. No doubt, he is the poor man in your dreams.

4. May all lovers in the world be long-lost brothers and sisters!

5. There is true love in the world, and giving points is also love.

6. As soon as you go out, thousands of birds will fly away, and thousands of people will be wiped out!

7. Those who have lovers celebrate Valentine’s Day, and those who have enemies celebrate Di Renjie.

8. What do you mean I look down on you? I have never looked at you at all.

9. When you see Sister Feng, do you still find Sister Furong annoying?

10. The only advantage of Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to work overtime at night!

11. Who will accompany me on Valentine’s Day? It seems like it’s just me and Shadow...

12. It’s nothing to wear couple’s clothes. From now on, driving a couple’s car will be domineering!

13. How can you leave me one of these evil chastities?

14. Bajie, don’t think that you are a night pig standing under the street lamp.

15. In ancient times, one sword conquered the world, but now one humble person leads the world.

16. A mouse takes a knife and looks for a cat all over the street. Who knows how lonely the brothel is?

17. Everyone says I am ugly, but in fact I am just not obviously beautiful.

18. Should you spend Valentine’s Day with your lover or with your wife?

19. You are loved by everyone, flowers bloom when you see you, and the lid of the coffin is opened when you see you.

20. Go to your class and see how you celebrate Valentine’s Day! destroy.

21. Wear perfume when you have money, and apply toilet water when you have no money.

22. Is there anyone who breaks up on Valentine’s Day? I am the one.

23. You are my Youlemei, but the trash can is your destination.

24. As a post-90s generation, you have a heart of a post-80s generation and a face of a post-70s generation.

25. Love is a joke. It makes others laugh to death and hurts yourself.

26. I want to be a snail in my next life, so that I don’t have to buy a house.

27. The bankruptcy of Durex is not a tragedy, but the collapse of Durex is a tragedy.

28. For Valentine’s Day, if anyone has a daughter, I can borrow one, and they will have one older and one younger next year!

29. Unexpectedly, today is Singles’ Day for lovers!

30. The roses along the way have never felt that this festival is so far away from me.

31. My wallet is like an onion. It makes me burst into tears every time I open it.

32. Regardless of phone calls or text messages. I'm all looking forward to that sentence of "I love you".

33. I feel like you are like two pigs, because one pig cannot describe you as stupid.

34. I hope you can walk on your own in the future, while I will take the car.

35. Chinese Valentine’s Day is not scary. What’s scary is that the person you like is spending Chinese Valentine’s Day with someone else.

36. Anyone who introduces his girlfriend before Valentine’s Day will have his wings broken in his previous life.

37. Every day is Valentine’s Day when you love the right person, and Tomb-Sweeping Day when you love the wrong person!

38. I wonder which girl my future husband is dating now?

39. Teacher, I have a winter vacation for my homework, and I have feelings. Can I not hand it in?

40. Someone asked me if I am still alone on Chinese Valentine’s Day? Will I turn into a dog?

41. I once thought I was a flower on the cliff, but later I realized that I was just a dregs in the sea of ??people.

42. February 14th is here. Those with lovers celebrate Valentine’s Day, and those with strict wives observe strict housekeeping.

43. We wisely withdrew from the Valentine’s Day film market competition and decisively went to see it tomorrow, haha!

44. By the way, I have never received any roses except QQ emoticons. Is this sad?

45. The most painful thing in the world is that you have to spend Valentine’s Day alone even though you are not single.

46. On Valentine’s Day, I played Lianliankan at home, eliminating one pair, one pair, and one pair after another.

47. If you want to make a successful confession today, you must meet two conditions: one is to say it, and the other is to take it off.

48. Are there so many people who start planning long before Chinese Valentine’s Day to play computer games at home during Chinese Valentine’s Day?

49. I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, as long as you say to me, “I’ll cover all your Valentine’s Day from now on.”

50. Yeah. At this time. How many virgins have disappeared? Who can estimate.

51. I asked my wife to spend Valentine’s Day... She said she wanted to spend it with her classmates... Does she not want me anymore?

52. I want to give a negative review to my future partner’s mother. The delivery was too slow and I haven’t received it yet.

On the day of 53 and 520, I received many text messages about booking a room, and later I found out that the phone belonged to my wife.

54. Valentine’s Day is coming. Friends, I welcome you to ask me to be a light bulb and take care of the food. I will shut up when I should shut up and tell jokes when the atmosphere is awkward.

55. God is unfair! I am a boy, I have no partner, someone who is not as good as me, but I am surrounded by beautiful women, ugh.

56. Dear everyone, please hurry up and sign in on Valentine's Day. If you don't sign in quickly, you will be deemed to be having sex.

57. The blessing I am most afraid of receiving now is "Happy Valentine's Day". I want to ask, who should I go with?

58. I want to hire two children on Chinese Valentine's Day. When I meet a boy, I will call him dad. When I meet a girl, I will call her mom. If I can break up a pair, I will call them mom.

59. When you see a couple, go up and give the wife a slap in the face and say, "You betrayed me." After the slap, she runs away.

60. This is reality, just go to bed and don’t wait to express your feelings. We didn’t even have it on April Fool’s Day, so we still expect 520?

61. Yuelao, can you stop using inferior red threads to help me get married? They break every now and then. What the hell?

62. For many people, whether they are in heat during the Spring Festival or on Valentine's Day is a question worth thinking about.

63. I don’t want to confess anything at 520. If I want to confess, it should be at 521. Not only is it homophonic, but it’s also a prime number!

64. Halfway through, there are unfinished stories to be continued. It's like sleeping soundly but being woken up by a splash of urine. Quite unpleasant.

65. Blessings to lovers all over the world, girls will not come to their aunties on March 13th ~ This is the most poisonous one so far, please forward it quietly!

66. Obviously, on today’s Valentine’s Day, people who want to express their love will say: “I like you, do you like me?”

67. Dreaming about your boyfriend He died, so he cried sadly. When I woke up and found that I didn’t have a boyfriend at all, I cried even more sadly.

68. Maybe as long as you take this step, maybe if you are not careful, you will become a bad old man and a bad old woman with someone. How nice!

69. Girls, do you want to celebrate Women’s Day next month? Still want to celebrate Mother's Day next year? Tomorrow is your time to choose!

70. The farthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but the fact that you spend Chinese Valentine’s Day with your lover, while I sing Qixi alone at home.

71. Chinese Valentine's Day is here, and the hotel owner smiles. The next day, the drug store owner also smiles. A month later, the hospital doctor should also smile.

72. Every day when you get up, you have to perform a sadomasochistic love drama with your beloved quilt: we will linger with you until death and leave with hatred.

73. When I got up to have breakfast in the morning and passed by the hotel street when I went out, the smell of blood immediately hit my face! Think about it, how fierce the war was last night...

74. I have a wish: at the o'clock of the year and month, there will be a text message or phone call saying to me: I will spend this Valentine's Day with you, okay What?

75. Are there any single beauties? The best ones are in Dongshan, but Nanjing is also ok. Please rent a beautiful girl for the holidays, including transportation, food and accommodation... Price is negotiable...

76. Today is Valentine's Day. Did your mother ask you to go on a blind date? Did your mother let you break up with your significant other? Did your mother let you get married?

77. Let me spend Valentine's Day alone, let me spend Christmas alone, let me spend New Year's Day alone, and if you have the ability, let me spend the exam alone.

78. The most profound quarrel on Valentine's Day was when I saw a woman burst into tears and punched a man in the subway station: "You didn't bring your ID card today! What do you mean!"

79. Today’s calendar says that it is advisable to break the ground for burial and avoid confession of love and marriage. As singles, for your happiness, we decided to break the ground and bury those who see love and marriage confession directly! Funny classic Valentine's Day quotes 2

1. Thank you for getting to know you in this life. I miss you so much. I am sure that you are the love I pursue in this life. My life is bleak without you. How much I need you, come back to me: RMB! Happy Valentine's Day!

2. Red roses, white roses, each one makes my heart intoxicated. Red Valentine's Day, White Valentine's Day, every day makes lovers haggard with anticipation. I wish all the Prince Charmings a happy holiday and may the love and good fortune last forever!

3. Did you see it? Are you enamored? Are you thinking secretly? Are you following? Have you created opportunities for yourself? Do you want to express your love? Stop thinking nonsense! Take advantage of this auspicious day of Chinese Valentine's Day to express your true feelings! Yue Lao will definitely help!

4. It’s Valentine’s Day and I want to say to you: Before I met you, the world was a wasteland. After I met you, the world is a paradise. The past years are like a wisp of smoke to me. , my future life will be endlessly happy because of you.

5. No need for bricks or tiles, just one stroke can make you smile. Haha, I will build you a magpie bridge with sweet words. I wish you a sweet love life, joy, happiness and good luck. , happy to make many connections, happy Chinese Valentine's Day!

6. Flowers and roses, may you always be bright and beautiful; stars and music, may you always be trendy; may the sky and the earth last forever, may you always be blue and broad. On Valentine's Day, when I miss you, I wish you the best, the angel in my heart.

7. How many people laugh on Valentine’s Day? What are you doing? Steamed buns are expensive and steamed buns are more expensive. If you have roasted pork ribs, you can throw away both. Happy Valentine's Day!

8. Do you know what I want to eat on Valentine’s Day? Boil you, fry you, steam you; roast you, braise you, braise you; fry you, pan-fry you, serve you cold!

9. It turns out that it’s not that I don’t miss you, I just forget the impact of that missing; just like it’s not that I don’t breathe, I just forget that I have been breathing! Valentine's Day is here, I miss you in a foreign country!

10. Black facial makeup is Bao Gong, black dress is noble. Talking to each other in the dark night, falling in love in the dark silence. Black people embrace without seeing each other, and black people have a loving companion. I wish lovers will eventually get married, and I wish everyone has their beloved in every dark episode.

11. A photo evokes nostalgia, a touch of memory, a sweet moment, a deep yearning, and the company of happiness; a deep expectation, a life of happiness, a photo on Valentine's Day, and wishes. Our true love will continue and we will be happy forever!

12. You are from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I am from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your plush hand! love! Let's walk upright!

13. Love is the desire of the soul, the roar of feeling, the collision of souls, the shining of electric light, the sweet nectar, the intoxicating wine, and the hometown of happiness! Happy White Day to you!

14. Valentine’s Day is coming, a warm reminder in advance: give some flowers and plants in a subtle way, run away lively while holding hands, drink and eat in a real way, sing and dance passionately, hug in a romantic way, and be crazy. Put it down at night, just send a text message if you are timid!

15. I see the vicissitudes of life between your brows, I see confidence in your eyes, I see the years on your forehead, and I see leeks between your lips and teeth. Go and brush your teeth. ! Happy Valentine's Day!

16. Missing you is the sweetest diary I write. You are happy, so I am happy. Meeting you is my greatest happiness. Diary Valentine's Day, every piece of you is the sweetest diary I have written.

17. Pure blessings, pure wishes, deep joy, and deep love. The overflowing floral fragrance and rich chocolate bring me strong Valentine’s Day greetings at this romantic moment, Happy Valentine’s Day!

18. I will never forget your text messages, I will remember every word of yours, your greetings will always be in my heart, and I will never forget your blessings. I will celebrate Silver Valentine's Day again. , I am lonely and thinking about you, and I will never forget you in my life.

19. Joy is in the green grassland, holding hands under the moon. Holding flowers in hand to send to your lover, the natural beauty will be your beauty. I am the green leaves that will always accompany you, and you are the flowers that will always bloom. Spring, summer, autumn and winter are not separated, flowers fall and leaves wither and turn into mud. Green Valentine’s Day: Stay in love and never leave.

20. I miss your beautiful smile, your gentle embrace, and every minute with you. That kind of happiness is unforgettable and wonderful! I look forward to the weekend coming soon, so I can see you again and have fun together again!

21. Being alone, longing for lovesickness, the cold moon is blowing, the evening breeze is blowing, Valentine's Day is coming, I am alone with my mobile phone on, thinking about the good times, expressing my heartfelt words, sending my blessings, Happy Valentine's Day!

22. The tea should be drunk; the road should be straight; the pig's trotters should be eaten well; ah, this one with the mobile phone is not bad. Ha ha. Happy Valentine's Day!

23. On Valentine's Day, a girl called him: "Come to my house, there is no one!" He ran away excitedly! After knocking on the door for more than an hour, I found that no one was there.

24. On Valentine’s Day, I give you four lovers: a happy lover, who brings you a happy mood; a good-luck lover, who brings you all your wishes come true; a successful lover, who brings you a bright future; and a healthy lover. , bring you infinite happiness!

25. When will I have a lover? I asked my friends via text message. I don’t know if there are people around me or if I have a boyfriend. I want to find her, but I am afraid of missing the opportunity. I can’t sleep all night. The most difficult thing is to rest. Three How can two glasses of light wine defeat him? Looking for a close friend on Valentine's Day!

26. Lovers are visible, lovers get along happily, loveless lovers suffer all their lives, infatuated lovers come through rain or shine, thin lovers are notorious, heroic lovers can be counted only, and the true lover is none other than me. Happy Valentine's Day!

27. On Valentine’s Day, please use love as the guise and focus on lovers, secretly gather old lovers, meet old lovers secretly under the moon, search for crazy lovers online, and speed up the development of new lovers. If you don’t have a lover during the festival, Go home and coax your wife.

28. Because of you, my life is no longer lonely, because of you, my back is no longer lonely, and because of you, my happiness is no longer lonely. Because of you, I feel sweet, at ease, contented and happy. Happy holidays, my dear, I love you forever.

29. I can’t bear to look back at the turbulent years in the past. The night breeze is blowing hard. I miss my friends. How can I resist him? I haven’t found a girlfriend for a long time. I am spending the holidays alone. I wish all the good men in the world have something to ask for. , enjoy Valentine’s Day!

30. Buy roses for yourself, forget it, you will be laughed at; buy chocolates, forget it, you will get fat; light candles, forget it, you have no lover; on Valentine’s Day, I wish you and the loverless Happy Valentine’s Day with me!

31. Oh! My dear, let me tell you, on Valentine's Day a thousand years ago, I didn't go home. You thought I was fooling around, so don't bother me because there were no text messages at that time. So I have to tell you a thousand years later, I went to buy flowers.

32. I fell in love with you at first sight, hugged you without saying a word, came to you every three days, no one kissed you everywhere, married you within five days, and we will not be separated for sixty years!

33. On Valentine’s Day, I miss you from afar, hoping to turn into a homing pigeon and fly to you, even if all I can do is a simple action: put a bubble on your head!

34. You are the wind and I am the boat, we can go far together; you are the rose and I am the flower, we bloom the flower of love; you are the warmth and I am the home, we form a happy couple. Home; Today is Valentine’s Day, Happy Valentine’s Day!

35. Watch you quietly and concentrate, dream beautifully of your happiness, love you deeply and sincerely, care for you well and carefully, think about you foolishly and tell you quietly You and I love you so much!

36. You can escape my sight, but you cannot escape my thoughts; you can leave my side, but you cannot leave my heart; you can escape my affection, but you cannot leave my heart. Can't escape my memory. Silver Valentine's Day, I miss you in my heart.

37. Building a magpie bridge for you with blessings is not just for the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, but a magic treasure of love created for you. As long as you receive this text message around Chinese Valentine's Day, you will always have good luck and popularity. Even better! Happy Valentine's Day!

38. On this day, there is no lover on Valentine’s Day! When this special day was approaching, what I was thinking about was - I don’t want a lover, I want a wife.

39. I want the fragrance of chocolate to surround you, the fragrance of roses to linger around you, and the festive fireworks to illuminate your beautiful face. When the fireworks bloom, you will see above I wrote three words "I love you" for you with my heart. Happy Valentine's Day, my dear.

40. On Valentine’s Day, I just want to say to you: It’s impossible that I don’t love you; it’s unreasonable that I don’t love you; I don’t miss you, and I’m even more unjust than Dou E: I If I don’t text you, I’ll be struck by lightning.

41. I was in a car accident and my waist was twisted. You were the driver who caused the accident - I was hit by love! Hehe, I love you!

42. If I were a billionaire, I would buy all the roses in the world and give them to you. Am I a rich man? No, so I can only send you a text message to wish you: Happy Valentine’s Day, my friend.

43. The years pass by in a hurry, the memories are increasing day by day, the wind and rain often come, and I miss you non-stop. My friend, how are you in a foreign country? Chinese Valentine's Day is approaching, may you become single and have a happy Valentine's Day!

44. Kiss your hand, and we will walk together in this life; kiss your face, and the warm affection will last forever; kiss your heart, and sweet love will wash over you; kiss your lips, and love will last forever and everlastingly. . Kiss Valentine's Day is here, and I would like to kiss you for the rest of my life.

45. The collision between heart and soul ignited the crackling sparks on the spring branches, and we walked into the world of spring hand in hand.

46. If one day you think of the people who once loved you, I will always be one of them. If one day no one in this world loves you anymore, I will definitely be dead by then. !

47. Open the diary of friendship, and the chapters are full of happiness; open the diary of love, and the pages are sweet, and the paragraphs are wonderful; open the diary of family, and every sentence is full of happiness. The sentence is full of warmth, and every word is harmony; the diary is Valentine's Day, wishing all lovers happiness and happiness!

48. Deep love, rainy weather, you are a worm in my belly, you understand everything I want, everything is silent! Happy Valentine's Day, baby!

49. I miss you very much, but I’m too embarrassed to call you because I’m afraid you’re busy, I’m afraid you’ll ignore me, I’m afraid you’ll think I’m harassing you.

I really want to contact you, but the pig will not chat with me, I can only read the text messages stupidly! Happy Valentine's Day!

50. You look very creative. It’s your courage to live. Being ugly is not your original intention. It’s just that God lost his temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who can Bring out the beauty of the world. Happy Valentine's Day!

51. On Green Valentine’s Day, I give you a blue rose, staying together is a promise; I give you two blue roses, it is fate that you and I meet; I give you three blue roses, you are my deepest love Love. Flowers represent sincerity, and we will hold hands together forever.

52. There are two things I have always wanted to say to you, and I finally mustered up the courage on this special day: The first sentence, I love you and I like you so much; the second sentence, never say Take the first sentence seriously. Happy Valentine's Day.

53. When I see you, I am afraid of electric shock; when I cannot see you, I need to recharge; without you, I think I will lose power. Loving you is my profession, missing you is my career, holding you is my specialty, kissing you is my specialty!

54. The wind blows through the beach, raising the brilliance of memories; the river flows through thousands of mountains, carrying endless longing; the clouds fly over the horizon, relaxing and romantic; the love reaches the heart, telling the sweet love. Kiss Valentine’s Day, I love you forever.