Jokes about buses are full of jokes.

It was a few years ago, when the bus arrived at the station, a tall woman came over. Her IC card may be in the back pocket of jeans, so as soon as she got on the bus, she leaned her ass against the credit card machine and got into the trunk with a drip. This woman is followed by a short old lady. She felt strange. How can she get on the bus with that thing? So as soon as she got on the bus, she tried her best to weigh it. Aunt said: Isn't that girl riding on her ass here? Haha, I see. The driver can't laugh or cry, so he can only explain to him that the girl uses an IC card.

But aunt doesn't understand that shrimp is called IC card, and she also pesters the driver. "You're an unreasonable young man. You let people in when a beautiful girl pouts with you. My wife has pushed your ass so many times, and you won't let me in. What do you mean? " Everyone in the trunk laughed, and the driver just waved her in because he couldn't get off the stage.

I heard wrong.

A foreigner holding a ticket for 50 yuan waved it in front of the conductor: See? Have you seen it? ……

The ticket buyer was stupid, so he simply took out a program of 100: Have you seen it?

Finally, I learned that the man wanted to go to "Jianguomen!"

3. thief

A gentleman often loses his wallet on the bus. One day, before getting on the bus, a gentleman folded a thick stack of paper and put it in an envelope. After getting off the bus, he found the envelope stolen. The next day, a gentleman just got on the bus and felt a hard object around his waist. He felt it and saw it. That was yesterday's envelope, which said: Please don't joke like this, it will affect his normal work. Thank you! !

Ask for money

Going home by bus, I found that there was no one yuan change in my wallet. When I was in a hurry, I took out a ten-dollar bill and put it in the slot. Later, the more I thought about it, the more I felt timid. I discussed with the driver whether I could stay at the door and keep the money that the next passenger should have put in the slot for myself. The driver agreed.

The bus soon reached the next stop, and many people scrambled to get on. I stopped at the door and said to the first passenger, "Give me the money." The other party was stunned: "Why?" Without a few words, I said, "Just give it to me, and don't worry about the rest." The other party stared at the driver, and the driver nodded by default. So, I got a dollar. According to the law, and soon received eight Zhang Yiyuan money. At this time, a big man came over, hunched back, shaved, and tattooed. Seeing that I stopped him, I said angrily, "Why?

Dude. I said, "Talk to you later. Give me the money first. " The other person's eyes are round: "What are you talking about?" I said, "Give me the money!" Another man opened his mouth and asked the driver, "What does this kid do?" The man was blocked at the door, and the people behind him couldn't get on, but the people in the carriage were anxious to start, so everyone shouted, "What are you busy with?" Give the money quickly! "The big fellow soon fell. I saw him take out his wallet from his pocket and hand it over. He said sadly, "boss, that's all I have." There are many of you. I'm impressed. "

Chasing cars

I caught the bus in the morning, and when I got to the platform, the bus had already left. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! "

At this time, a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, stop chasing."

get off (a vehicle)

When the bus was waiting for the red light, a man shouted, "driver, open the door, I want to get off."

"Is this the bus stop?" The driver growled.

"Just because this is not a bus stop, I will give you a chance."

The driver was speechless.

7. Extension ring

A very fat woman got on the bus and couldn't find a seat, so she had to pull the pull ring on the bus. Unexpectedly, the driver suddenly braked, and the fat woman pulled off the pull ring and jumped in front of the driver. The driver looked at her and the pull ring on her hand and said angrily, "There are three sets. Send the driver an autographed photo!" " "

8.seats

A beautiful lady took out a tissue from her bag and wiped her seat hard after getting on the bus. When she was about to sit down, she farted. A gentleman next to him listened and joked that the young lady really loves hygiene. After rubbing for so long, she still wants to blow!