Short but funny joke

1. My friend is a soldier. Someone once asked him what was the most serious injury you suffered while performing a mission? The friend took a deep breath. He leisurely replied that it was a night of heavy rain. I was holding on to my post with my comrades, but I suddenly discovered that he had a girlfriend holding an umbrella for her.

2. The father asked his son: "Who do you love most, dad or mom?" The son said: "Love both." "If I go to the United States and mom goes to Paris, where will you go?" "Paris" "Why "The son said, "Because Paris is beautiful." The father asked, "What if I go to Paris and my mother goes to the United States?" "Of course I go to the United States." The father said in a disappointed tone, "Why do I always follow my mother?" The son said calmly. I've already been to Paris. "

3. Yesterday, my wife, I said a courier was coming downstairs. You should go and pick it up. I said no, you have to go by yourself. My wife said: Can you say it again? Me: Just give me 50 yuan pocket money and I will go? My wife took out some money and gave it to you. Go quickly. I took the money and counted 198. I was so happy that I went and got it back. I was so angry that I didn't sleep all night. That's cash on delivery.

4. When I was a child, every time my dad finished beating me, I would say, "The pain in your body is the pain in my heart." Then I asked him why do you hit me every time? My dad said he likes the feeling of heartache.

5. My wife and I had a quarrel the night before. The next day, I brought the lunch box that my wife packed and went to work normally. I thought to myself that there is an old saying that quarrels at the head of the bed and quarrels at the end of the bed really make sense. Until noon, I heated up meals in the microwave with my colleagues. Can you imagine seven or eight people sitting at a hot dinner table together? I opened the lunch box and it was a box of steaming shit...

6. Patient: Doctor, I’m allergic!

Doctor: What are the symptoms?

Patient: Trembling all over.

Doctor: When did it start?

Patient: It started as far back as I can remember.

Doctor: Do you remember what caused it?

Patient: I don’t know, but the attacks only start in winter every year

Doctor: …

Patient: What’s wrong? Is it difficult for doctors to treat?

Doctor: You are frozen.