Big talk, funny version of the classic lines, rough road, fill in.

2. Liu Bei: My name is Liu Mingbei, and my name is Xuande. I am the son of Wang Jing in Zhongshan. Because my family is poor, I am poor. The most expensive thing about me is that I have noble blood. Unfortunately, my blood type is O, and every time I sell blood, it is very cheap. What a pity!

3. Liu Beixiu: Zhao Yun is rocking on a very long board (Zhao Yun saved a dou in Chang Hanbo).

4. Liu Bei: Uncle Fu, not Big Brother.

5. Guan Yu: The yellow turban insurrectionary colleges and universities are becoming more and more arrogant now.

Zhang Fei: Yes, when you enter the school, you grab the teaching equipment, the registration fee and the nutritious lunch. Er, I heard that the male and female teachers in a school were taken off last time, and even the principal's underwear was taken away.

Guan Yu: Really?

Zhang Fei: Of course it's fake.

Guan Yu: Wow ~ You can be a little more boring.

6. Liu Bei: It doesn't matter if you like to fight, but you can't have stones in your head. Brain stones are idiots. There are so many of them, but there are only three of us. This is not a battle. This is called a siege.

7. Guan Yu: How can it not be a crisis? Now growth is the most critical.

Zhang Fei: Is it worse than going to the toilet without toilet paper?

Guan Yu: Of course.

8. Dong Zhuo: I'm possessed. I can't help it, but I'm simple. I just want to keep hurting people. Isn't that simple enough?

9. There are fake breasts. Who knows if your admission notice is false?

Zhang Fei: My breasts are real!

Guan Yu: That's not the point!

10. Affectionate A Biao Sao: A Biao, I am sorry for you again. My people are yours, my heart is Zhao Yun's, my spirit is Guan Yu's and my soul is Liu Bei's, but now, my life has been stolen by Lu Bu.

1 1. Liu Beixiu: You have tried very hard to feed the chicken tea, very hard, but the chicken will not lay tea eggs.

12. Zhang Fei (with a naive face): Big Brother, I am a big stone in my chest, and so are you!

13. It's good to have someone to sleep with me. I heard that dogs have yin and yang eyes before, but it turned out to be true. I kept seeing Ah Piao, dangling in front of me, so scared! (Dong) According to

14. I have a question. Who wants to be called a pig? I am the great Dong Zhuoye. How can I be called a pig? Especially after I lost weight, my face became so thin. (Dong) According to

15. I want to hypnotize myself, not beef, not beef, but cow shit! (or Dong)

16. Liu beixiu: third brother, you haven't practiced bagua boxing, but you have practiced bagua mouth.

17. Jiao Niang: Eh, playing dumb won't do much. Zhang Fei: Playing dumb won't make a big mistake.

18. "Yes, the goal was successful. I am really a dog with all my wishes! " (Dong) According to

19. Female veterinarian: "Oh, honey, it's okay. Just checking. Come, let me kiss you. " 」

Liu Beixiu, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong and Ma Chao: "No! 」

Female veterinarian: "What's the matter? 」

Liu Beixiu, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Huang Zhong and Ma Chao: "Nothing. 」

Dong: "Kissing will kill you. Really, let me have a good time. " ! Have a French kiss. "

20. Dong Zhuo: "My mind is also very simple ~ I only think about how to harm people every day ..."

2 1. Zhou Yu: I heard that President Cao's sneeze shook all corners of the country ~

Cao Cao: Vice President Zhou yawned and set off a huge wave ~

22. Sun Shangxiang: This is my self-created external skill "Great Knife and Gas Coagulation".

Zhang Fei: "Big ice cream"?

23. Zhang Fei: Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

24. Zhang Fei: Are you sure?

25. Zhou Yu: I always think that you will cheat our eldest lady.

Liu Beixiu: Don't use intuition indiscriminately. My intuition is that you will cheat little Joe in our class.

26。 Teacher: "Sorry, A Biao's family is very busy worshipping ancestors. One uncle, four husbands and seven brothers play cards, three aunts, six grandmothers and nine sisters cook, and two nephews, five nephews and eight grandsons burn incense. Excuse me, how many relatives have come to Abiao's house? Yes, please lift your feet. " ...

Teacher: "Your feet are cramping. You can't lift them. Haven't you said this question many times? Ok, Liu Bei, Liu Bei, you will, Liu Bei, Liu Bei. "

Liu Beixiu: "What did you ask just now? 」

Teacher: "What did I ask just now? I asked, how many relatives have been to Abiao's house? " 」

Liu Beixiu: "I'm not sure how many relatives have come to their family, but I just heard that there are eight Sun Shangxiang in their family. 」

Sun Shangxiang said, "Have you ever loved? 」

Lv Meng (shyly): "Miss, please don't seduce me. 」

29 Mushroom-scented banana cigarette-scented soap, coriander-scented champagne, sesame oil-scented perfume, incense burner-scented vanilla sausage-scented Ji Xiang (Xiao Qiao)

Liu Beixiu: My name is Liu Mingbei, the son of Wang Jing in Zhongshan. Some people call me Beibei. Liu Xuande is me, and I am Liu Xuande. (Hahahaha) But nobody calls me Ade (Hahahaha).

3 1 Chinese teacher: gobble, obviously wolves and tigers, and swallows ~

Xiao Qiao said to Guan Yu: Chasing girls must last until the last second, and must wait until the girls say stop.

You can stop, or you have to pursue bravely, you know?

Cao Cao: I see!

Xiao Qiao: I'm not asking you.

34 Liu Bei (Xiu): There is a kind of yearning, which will always appear without thinking.

The first string will ring (think); The second string will ring (think); It turns out that every string is loud (thinking)

Liu Bei (Xiu): Stay. Or I'll go with you.

A Xiang: Hey, do you have a new series?

Liu Bei (Xiu): Then listen to this! Come here quickly. Or you can come with me!

Zhang Fei: Even if time and space are destroyed, I want brave enough to love.

Zhang Fei: This meal was so rich that I ate a kilo.

Guan Yu: Did you eat more than a catty?

Zhang Fei: Yes, at least eight catties.

Liu Beixiu: ... You are surprised how to use "surprised"! ~

Wang Dadong: Tiramisu said that a sinful enjoyment will relax a lady's tight abdomen.

Marotta said to the Iliad, Liu Bei (Xiu) and Sun Shangxiang, What are you looking at? Never seen such a handsome man!

Sun Shangxiang: Happiness is having a secret that only belongs to two people.

Cao Cao: Everyone has friends.

Liu Beixiu: Is it cholesterol?

Cao Cao: That's a waste of time.

42. A Xiang: From tomorrow, we will be classmates. Are you happy?

Liu Bei (Xiu): Not bad.

A Xiang: Ah ~ ~ Not bad!

Liu Bei (Xiu): The highest grade, not bad, plus est! (cute)

A Xiang: Actually, in my opinion, your music is not bad, and it is the highest level. Add est! (shy+blushing)

43. Hua Tuo: I am happy about the treatment that will change history.

Zhang Fei: If you don't get to the point, I'll let you change history!

44. Cao Cao: Hua Tuo, I really admire you more and more. I believe you will be a celebrity forever.

Liu Bei (Xiu): I promise he will! (Everyone looks at him together) Why? Can't predict the future! (guilty ~ ~)

45. Sun Shangxiang: Who will arrive first tomorrow or in the future?

46. Liu Bei (Xiu): It turns out that we will arrive first tomorrow, because we have no future. How can we get there first?

Liu Bei (Xiu): So, what is the only extraordinary opportunity for ordinary people? !

A Xiang: Ordinary people, the only extraordinary opportunity is (blushing+approaching ing) to talk about an extraordinary love! !

Liu Bei (Xiu) os: Alas, we are really destined for an extraordinary love! !

48. Zhang Fei: As the saying goes, today is not easy to try! Today's exam, you cheat today, if you don't do it today, it will be too late!

49. Cao Cao: You have also seen the Art of War! (Jing ING~) Sun Tzu's Art of War is a collection of tactics that my ancestors worked hard and risked their narrow lives. Cao Jiazu's teachings have been handed down from generation to generation, and now they are locked in our new multi-security titanium vault. Brother Liu, although we are good friends, I still have to ask you carefully. Liu Beixiu: Oh!

Cao Cao: How did you know about this plan?

Liu Beixiu: Well, it's written in the plan! ~

Cao Cao: ~ ~ ~ Ah, hahaha ~ ~ It's written on it, how could I forget it ~ ~

Liu Beixiu: The Art of War is for my son to pass on to my daughter ... I went to Tieshikong second-hand bookstore and bought it 100 for your sister ~ (Thinking)

50. Zhang Fei: I'm afraid Jiang Gan has disappeared.

Liu Beixiu: Nothing. Is it serious?

Guan Yu: Brother, of course it's serious.

Ma Chao: For people, flying without wings means death.

5 1. Zhang Fei: Big Brother, I don't care if you are real or fake, cooked, roasted, fried or smoked. You will always be my big brother Zhang Fei ~ ~ ~

52. Guan Yu: Yun, you look pale.

Hua tuo: I agree, it's really bad, even worse than healthy stool (others solemnly nod)

53. Liu Bei (Xiu): I think clouds are very unusual.

Guan Yu: Brother, I just don't think you are ordinary ... (comparing the movement of kamikaze) Ourabah! What is this?

54. Grandpa: Confucius said that men and women are not close. If you keep holding me like this, people will think we are cheating.

55. Da Qiao: Which of you is Guan Yu? Guan Yu: I am.

Da Qiao: I dried the mung beans.

Liu Beixiu stepped forward and grabbed Da Qiao ... Da Qiao: My egg. Let me go (Liu Beixiu: I'm sorry)

Guan Yu: Miss, do you have any misunderstanding?

Da Qiao: Misunderstanding? I misunderstood your shredded chicken noodles.

A Xiang: Da Qiao, take a deep breath and speak slowly.

Da Qiao: Take your time. Let me talk about the bottom of your spicy pot. Get out of the way I want revenge on Guan Yu!

A Xiang: Wait a minute. Why take revenge on Guan Yu? What's wrong with my brother? Say it.

Da Qiao: This bastard, he killed Sun Ce.

57. Zhang Fei: Brother, I'm sorry! Your people are from A Xiang. But the romantic suite has been stolen by Chao Hezhong!

58. Liu Beixiu: No matter how high the position is, it is useless. Where is the key. Because even if you become a celebrity. You have great energy and power, ranking above ten thousand people, but the person you like doesn't like you. Then you'll never have a place with her. Instead of becoming a celebrity that everyone admires. I'd rather stand by and be the person I like and hold her hand at any time.

59 Zhang Fei: Be careful that Sun Quan crosses you, and then crosses you, and then crosses you!

Liu Beixiu: Is this horrible? Wuhu: Of course it's scary!

Cao Cao: It's simply human torture! Liu Beixiu: So ... what will happen?

Guan Yu: Sun Quan will bury you in the sand first, leaving only a dead head after burial!

Zhang Fei: Then cut it from the middle of your head with a knife and open a hole for the dead!

Zhao Yun: Use mercury again and pour it into the wound!

Ma Chao: Brother, you will itch in the future!

Liu Beixiu: So what if I can't stop?

Huang Zhong: If it's hard to stop, just struggle to find a punch!

Cao Cao: I suddenly saw a hole in the top of my head, and I didn't even want the skin. I pulled it out!

Zhang Fei: Brother, are you itchy all over?

Liu Beixiu: It tickles me to death! (... Liu Beixiu thought: Isn't this a movie dialogue? )

Zhang Fei (to Liu Beixiu): Remember, big brother! Start a distance, doomed to separation, keep walking, and soon there will be no strength!

Ma Chao: That's why people say that long-distance lovers can easily end up.

6 1 After reading the secret letter, Cao Cao said, Oh, my worst fear has happened! Ma Chao (surprised): Xiao Qiao is getting married?

President Wang Yun said: "Zhang Fei just fills in the uneven road."

Cao Cao: "It is the right thing to do, regardless of strength. One day I will let you know how big the world is! "

Mother's classic lines in the Three Kingdoms period

Mother's Three Kingdoms is a family comedy jointly created and directed by directors Dan Liang and Ye Tian, starring Cai Ming, Gekko, Wang Liyun, Natalie and Guo Jiaming. This TV series tells the stories of three mothers with different personalities: Cao Meihua, Liu Fengxian and Sun. Because of the marriage problem between children, they became in-laws and formed a modern version of the "Three Kingdoms" situation. The play premiered exclusively at anhui tv Dolphin No.1 Theater on February 20xx 1. Let's take a look at the classic lines of my mother during the Three Kingdoms period:

1, such a smelly thing should not appear on the earth.

2. Jin Jiexiaomin, I wish you a lasting friendship.

3. Whether your shoes are high-grade or not can be seen by others at a glance.

This family is really generous. A pot of broken flowers wants to kidnap my daughter, so I can't help it.

5, I tell you, now is the legal society, you don't think I'm afraid of you.

6. Only you know whether the shoes are suitable or not.

7. I was afraid that her girl would not find a date, so she went back to the grass to kiss your ass.

8. Sun Liqin, your bamboo is not called bamboo, but bamboo shoots.

9. The teacher's son is in trouble with his head still open.

10, after that, I can only talk to myself, and other girls are cruel.

1 1, marriage cannot be impulsive.

12, don't blink, don't turn around, sleep quietly until dawn, don't disturb the leader.

13, oh, stinky tofu, stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky.

14, Pinger, we are both, you are the second, you are the first and second.

Interesting mood phrases that detour when the road is bumpy.

There is no need for drug corrosion, and there is a natural harm in my heart.

Hang up socks that haven't been washed for a long time at night. Wow, Kao Hua didn't expect to wake up in the morning and find a mouse smoked to death.

Others sleep until they wake up naturally, count money and draw menstruation. I slept until my hand cramped, and I woke up naturally when I counted the money.

I have never been late since I set my alarm clock to restless and got up and rolled around every day.

Accidentally mixed into the army, wearing military uniforms and encountering crimes by foreign enemies; Scrambling for the torment, eating a meal and singing a song; Bullshit, big things, repeated meetings.

You exist to tell me that three people are invincible if they are cheap.

Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

In fact, I'm always behind you, just need you to turn around.

My best friend is with my boyfriend behind my back. It's been a year. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. I satisfy your shameless happiness.

The funniest thing in the world is that when all the dancers are ready, the DJ has a problem, and then the disc gets stuck.

It's cold, and it takes a lot of courage to get up.

I suddenly saw a mouse after work today, which scared me to scream and the mouse turned over.

Take a detour if the road is uneven.

If you want to make amends after saying sorry, why do you need the police?

So what if there are no men! There is also a hot water bottle that can warm my bed.

Everything in this world needs money, even if you say a few words, you should give money to the mobile.

If loving you is a mistake, then I will admit my mistake to the whole world and correct it.

In today's society, it is useless to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it turns into popcorn, the runner will still run.

Sometimes think about it. It is better to have two feet on both sides than to be dead set on one person.

Treat my goodness as stinky tofu.

Talk about a love that doesn't cost money to push down stickers.

People don't attack me, I don't attack. If someone attacks me, I will shoot. If people do this, I will root out the root cause.

When I miss you, will you think of me?

If I take off one dress and you love me more, then I am willing to take off all my clothes.

How dare I not believe that you have the face to lie?

New three kingdoms lines

1, Liu Bei: "Every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world." Gu: I want to travel back to claim the original copyright. ...

2. Yuan Shao: No one in the world knows you. (Gao Shi in Tang Dynasty: This is obviously copying my work "Don't be big"! )

3. Primary school: Master ... Master ... (In other words, isn't this a popular name for slaves in the Qing Dynasty? )

4. Dong Zhuo: Our family wants all the officials in the guest house to eat! ("za" is a military term from Shanxi, which means "I", "we" and "you and me". In the Ming dynasty, it had obvious military characteristics and represented masculinity. Eunuchs in the Ming Dynasty took this as their own name. There is also a thunder point in this statement: "Dear Guan Bai" ...)

5, Zhang Fei: Three surnames are slaves, rest! Yan is coming!

6. Lu Bu: What did you call me?

7. Zhang Fei: Three surnames are slaves.

8. Lyu3 bu4: Why am I called a slave named Lu San?

(Lu Bu was called a "three-surname domestic slave" because of his surname Lu, and later became Ding Yuan's adopted son, and finally recognized Dong Zhuo as his father. However, in the new "Three Kingdoms", Lu Bu was designed to be directly recorded by Dong Zhuo from Xiliang District, and Ding Yuan's plot did not appear at all. In this way, the title of "three surnames of domestic slaves" is no longer established. )

9. Wang Yun: This is the story of my daughter Deusim.

10, Dong Zhuo: You are a treasure house! This idiom originated when Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty said that he would build a golden house to marry his cousin when he was a child, and later it was compared to marrying a wife or hiding a lover. )

1 1, Dong Zhuo (known as Marotta): Brother Li ... (Marotta, there is no such person in the official history, but there is such a person in the fifty-ninth volume of Zi Jian. In the romance, he is Dong Zhuo's son-in-law and counselor, so it is totally inappropriate to call him Brother Li. )

12, Yuan Shao: Meng De, your team has returned to the DPRK. (Cao Cao chased Dong Zhuo and was defeated when he came back, but this idiom is used to describe his triumphant return. )

13, Wang Yun (The Story of Persuading Diesim): If you want to kill animals, you must first devote yourself to it.

14, diusim's story: what's the difference between an adoptive father's behavior and an animal's?

15, Liu Dai: I have a general named Pan Feng. He has a mountain axe weighing 100 kg in his hand. This man will be able to slay Hua Xiong.

16, Yuan Shao: Do you dare to fight?

Pan Feng: Why not? My axe has long been thirsty!

18, Chen Gong: Mende! We did something bad! They didn't kill us, they killed the pig! Cao Cao thought: You call me a pig? )

19, Cao Cao: Kill if you want. Why hesitate to make yourself miserable?

Servant of Wang Yunjia: Your Excellency, Lyu3 bu4 has come to give a birthday present to Miss Diusim.

2 1, Cao Cao: My head is too expensive and yours is too cheap. sorry

22. Cao Cao: "When the eyelids blink, the old hen becomes a duck."

23. Dong Zhuo: "Yuan Shao is a bastard!"

24. Dong Zhuo: "Cao Cao, you bastard!"

25. Dong Zhuo: Luoyang is luxurious. I am happy here.

26. Liu Bei: Yuan Shao is a helpless dou. Dou: Dad, how did you know so early? Changed to fortune telling? )

27. Cao Cao: Everyone knows Si Mazhao's heart. This is the most shocking thing. Cao Cao knew for a long time that he didn't kill Si Mazhao's father, which shows his kindness.

28. Lu Bu: My Diophantine is the first of the four beauties in ancient China!

29. Cao Cao: I want to find Liu Bei myself. Haven't you heard the story of three visits to the cottage? Be sincere.

30. Dong Zhuo: "Luoyang luxury, I am happy here."

3 1, Liu Bei: "Every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world."

32. Lu Bu: I want to propose to Lord Stuart (Lu Bu wants to propose to Wang Yun and suspects that Lu Bu is gay. )

33. Dong Zhuo: Luoyang is luxurious. I am happy here.

34. Liu Bei: Yuan Shao is a helpless dou.

35. Cao Cao: Everyone knows Si Mazhao's heart.

36. Liu Bei: When I came to Cao Mao, Zhuge Liang actually played with me and was not at home!

37. Zhuge Liang (opens the thatched cottage): Speak of the devil and he will arrive. Haha, Liu Bei is here.

38. Cao Cao: I want to find Liu Bei myself. Haven't you heard the story of three visits to the cottage? Be sincere.