My mother-in-law suddenly committed suicide before I went into labor.

Narrator: Guan Xinping, female, 30 years old, director of a foreign company.

Born in the countryside, I look down on my relatives in the countryside.

When I first fell in love with my husband, my father learned that that man was from the countryside like us. After successfully establishing himself in Chongqing through his own efforts, he was very satisfied with this future son-in-law. Father thinks that similar experiences and the same background can not only enhance the intimacy between the two sides, but also avoid the risks that may be brought by the family background gap.

But my father's idea is purely wishful thinking. In 2003, we decided to get married. When the two families got together for the first time to discuss the banquet candidates, everyone had differences with their mother-in-law. The focus of disagreement is whether to invite relatives and friends from the countryside to the wedding in the city.

Everyone except my mother-in-law thinks this is a non-negotiable matter. Because my parents' generation were all people who stayed in the countryside for twenty or thirty years, now that the two only children are married, we must invite relatives to attend. But my mother-in-law is firmly opposed. Her reason is: "Inviting rural people on such a formal occasion is a dirty team, and my husband and son will be laughed at in the company in the future." Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law who lived in the countryside for nearly 30 years only lived in the city for 20 years, and regarded her hometown as a completely harmless broom.

At first everyone took turns working for her. I told my mother-in-law that the emperor had two poor relatives: "Although we are rural, it should be a glorious thing to have a car, a house and a decent job in a big city." But my mother-in-law was unmoved. In desperation, we had to take the overall situation into consideration and rejected my mother-in-law's suggestion on the principle that the minority is subordinate to the majority.

On the wedding day, relatives from the countryside came, and some even drove to Chongqing for 6 or 7 hours, which moved my father-in-law to death. At that time, everyone raised a glass to celebrate the past and had a long talk, but her mother-in-law was not happy. She deliberately avoided those "poor relatives in rural areas", determined to draw a line with them in attitude, and devoted all her energy and enthusiasm to greeting and socializing with "city leaders".

I can't please my mother-in-law in any case.

My grandfather died in 2004. Because my husband often travels at home and abroad, in order to take care of my mother-in-law, my husband suggested that I move to her mother-in-law's house for a while. Without saying anything, I packed my bags and moved there that night.

Living under the same roof, I found that my mother-in-law's eating habits are exactly the same as her self-proclaimed city identity. In my mother-in-law's dictionary: the milk is hot, the eggs panic, the fruit is cold, the radish has changed, and the noodles are on fire. Counting by hand, mother-in-law "can" eat very little. A single diet is not good for health, but my husband and I can sharpen our mouths, while my mother-in-law still stubbornly adheres to this philosophy of "health preservation" that I learned from somewhere and refuses to change. Old people generally believe in authority, so we took our mother-in-law to the hospital, asked authoritative experts to examine her, and asked doctors to advise her on balanced nutrition intervention. Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law cried to death as soon as she got home. She said, "You let me die with peace of mind. The doctor said the poison was good. Do you want me to eat too? " This hat is too big for my husband and me, so I have to let my mother-in-law go.

No matter how picky the mother-in-law is, she is still half a "mother". I decided to "blend" my feelings with her by taking the opportunity to get along with each other day and night. First of all, I chose to befriend my mother-in-law at the dinner table, but no matter how I talk, from entertainment gossip to news and current affairs, from parents to neighbors, my mother-in-law will always be a poker face without any expression or reaction. Silence, eternal silence. After performing stand-up crosstalk at the dinner table for a month, I had to give up this way.

My second plan is to win the favor of my mother-in-law with diligence. One weekend, I cleaned the house inside and out. Before I could catch my breath, my mother-in-law's harsh voice sounded: "Is this also called cleaning?" What are you doing at home? "I have nowhere else to start with my handkerchief. The floor was wiped four times and the glass shone. But my mother-in-law went to the screen window and poked it with a toothpick in her hand, one eye at a time. She said meaningfully, "So our screen is cleaner than others'." I was dumbfounded at that time. My mother-in-law turned and shouted, "What are you doing? The tiles in our house should be wiped like this. " Growing up, I have seen such an alternative cleaning method. Although I think this kind of cleaning is completely time-consuming and laborious, I still picked up a toothpick and picked up tiles all afternoon.

Moreover, my mother-in-law always taunts my parents intentionally or unintentionally, and sometimes runs on me and says, "Your parents are fine, why are you so ugly?" But I take these as her words, and my mother-in-law and I have never had any conflicts.

My mother-in-law committed suicide a week before giving birth to the baby.

At the end of 2005, after seven months of pregnancy, I moved back to my mother's house to make final preparations for delivery. At this time, my mother-in-law suddenly fell ill. My husband can't come back from a business trip in Europe, so the burden of taking care of the patients falls on our whole family. One week, my mother cooked three meals a day for my mother-in-law and sent them to the hospital. My father and I take turns serving my mother-in-law for dinner, running tests and exams. After work, I went to the hospital and gave my class to my parents. Because my mother-in-law doesn't eat cold food, although I care about the fetus in my stomach, I still cover my stomach and give her hot food.

One morning, I suddenly got a phone call from my husband. He said anxiously, "Come to the hospital, my mother committed suicide by drinking sleeping pills!" " "I can hardly believe my ears. What happened to my mother-in-law, she chose to commit suicide at this time?

When I stumbled to the hospital, my mother-in-law was already awake. She lay weakly in bed, silent, next to her tired and serious husband. "Mom, have we wronged you?" The husband asked word for word. "No, you have to give me 1500 yuan allowance every month. Well, "the husband asked again," who bullied you? " "No, everyone is very kind to me." In the face of everyone's puzzled eyes, my mother-in-law finally spoke faintly: "You have to be busy taking care of your daughter-in-law and me these two months, and my mother doesn't want to be your burden." She only said this sentence and never said anything again.

I can't stand it anymore! I was angry with my mother-in-law for the first time since I got married. Just before her bed, I cried and said to her, "Mom, you are not a child anymore. Even if everyone has been busy taking care of me for the past two months and neglected you, you won't commit suicide. You don't think for yourself, but also for your son and the baby in my belly. How do you want your son to face public opinion? If anything happens to you, should I tell my grandmother that she committed suicide a week after the child was born? " Mother-in-law also shed tears, but she remained silent and said nothing.

Later, we took our mother-in-law to the hospital for an examination. It turned out that she was suffering from depression. But my mother-in-law is determined not to be hospitalized. In desperation, we had to take our mother-in-law home. In order to make her mother-in-law recover as soon as possible, we invited her to visit Sanya, and as a result, she tore up the plane ticket she bought. Our mother-in-law goes out for a walk to make friends and lies at home watching bitter dramas every day; We even took the initiative to introduce my wife to my mother-in-law, who said, "You want me to serve others, no way!"

Over the past two years, my family has taken good care of my mother-in-law's emotions and life, but she stubbornly insisted on not going to the hospital, and my husband and I could do nothing about her.

The similar focus of double-sided adhesive tape: one in-laws look down on another in-laws, and the daughter-in-law is pregnant, but the mother-in-law is constantly sick.

Opposite picture: In the TV series, pregnant Li Juan realized that "a mother depends on her son" and went home to meet her mother-in-law at the door; Sleep is no longer noisy; Fruit mother-in-law to the bedside; When there is something delicious, Li Juan will eat it first, and even her husband will pull over. In reality, Guan Xinping had to take care of her sick mother-in-law with her parents, but her recovered mother-in-law committed suicide one week before Guan Xinping gave birth because of her personality.

My husband and I were deeply hurt by my mother-in-law's suicide.

Reporter: What is the concept of mother-in-law relationship in your eyes?

Guan Xinping: The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a difficult problem. Not as out of place as I thought. In the past, my relationship with my mother-in-law was not intimate, but it was very peaceful and I never blushed. I am satisfied with that state. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is just a layer of paper. You can survive without breaking it.

Reporter: What's your relationship with your mother-in-law now?

Guan Xinping: I have been worried that my mother-in-law will commit suicide in the past two years. We didn't do anything wrong to my mother-in-law. I even think the two of them get along well. How can you say suicide is suicide? What my mother-in-law did was stupid and naive, which deeply hurt my husband's feelings for her and my future relationship with her mother-in-law, especially her husband.

Now I don't even take the initiative to call my mother-in-law to say hello. My husband will never go to see her without someone, but he will never have a conflict with his mother-in-law. One is that nothing will happen again, and the other is that the children are watching. Being unfilial to the elderly now, children should learn from it in the future.

Reporter: Has my husband become a "double-sided adhesive"? What is his attitude?

Guan Xinping: No, my husband is very objective with my mother-in-law. To be fair, I didn't treat my mother-in-law badly when she was away. Since my mother-in-law came out, I have told my husband about my former mother-in-law's satire on the demanding nanny. Husband said that as long as we are really alive, we will try our best to be filial to the elderly, and the rest will have to be natural.

Reporter's notes

I can only say that Guan Xinping's mother-in-law did the most ridiculous thing at the wrong time and place. It's hard to say that a daughter-in-law committed suicide before giving birth to a child. I can't think of anything. I won't choose this time.

Of course, unless this person is completely self-centered and doesn't care about the feelings of relatives. Is your daughter-in-law cruel to her? One month 1500 allowance is really a lot.

Don't you respect your daughter-in-law? At least when her mother-in-law spoke ill of her in-laws many times, Guan Xinping never had a conflict with her or even reported it to her husband.

Is the family bad for her? It's good to serve her. Therefore, the willfulness of this 50-year-old man, I can only say that personality determines fate.

For example, there are not many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but there are not a few in the "sub-health" state. Guan Xinping and her mother-in-law are like this: there is no hatred and no concern for each other. Their feelings are like ordinary friends, but they don't open their hearts to each other like strangers.

So for Guan Xinping, especially for her mother-in-law, I think the most appropriate sentence now is: normal heart, normal heart.