A lot of jokes

1. Female: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

When arguing, the difference between men and women is like the difference between machine guns.

My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes cycling every day. As a result, the horse lost 40 pounds in a month.

4. Patient: "Doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have another one."

Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.

6. Wife: "Men are timid." Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise why should I marry you?"

7. Part I: Hahahahaha Part II: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Horizontal batch: there is something wrong with the nerve.

8. The first year: He said and she listened. The following year: She said and he listened. The third year: they said that the neighbors listened.

9. If the cold world we live in is still hard to change, at least I still have your face to melt the ice and snow.

10. Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

1 1 M: Your face is so white.

Woman: (exulting) Really?

Man: Yes, whiter than my ass.

Man: Your hands are really small.

Woman: Really?

Man: It feels like chicken feet.

M: I have special feelings for you, but my mouth is too stupid and my language organization ability is too poor to express myself well.

Female: ........

M: My love for you is like a raging river, and it is like a runaway Yellow River. Your every move is recorded in my mind like a movie, and every lovely expression of you is printed in my mind like a photo. Frankly speaking, these are all irresistible to me. Since I first met you, my outlook on life and love has completely changed. I will dedicate my life to yours.

Silent dialogue between men and women will definitely collapse after reading it! ! ! Men's words are unique, and women's answers are even more unique. No. 1

Man: "May I ask you the way?"

Woman: "Where?"

Man: "to your heart"

Woman: "Sorry, this road is blocked." The man's words are absolutely, and the woman's answer is absolutely No.2

Man: "Your legs must be very tired!" " "

Woman: "Why?"

Man: "Because you've been running around in my head all day."

Woman: "I think it's ok, because your brain is really too small." The man's words are absolutely, and the woman's answer is absolutely No.3.

Man: (looking at the label of her shirt)

Woman: "What are you doing?"

Man: "I wonder if you are made in heaven."

Woman: "Are you from hell?" Men's words are unique, and women's answers are even more unique. fourth

Man: "I had a bad day." Seeing a beautiful girl smile will make me feel better. Can you smile for me? "

Woman: "Do you want me to have a bad day?" Men's words are unique, and women's answers are even more unique. Fifth place

Man: "Sorry, I'm an artist. Staring at beautiful women is my job. "

Woman: "Sorry, I'm a breeder, and I feel uncomfortable being watched by others." The man's words are absolutely, and the woman's answer is absolutely No.6.

Man: "Miss, can you lend me five dollars?"

Woman: "What are you going to do?"

Man: "I'm going to call my mother and tell her that I saw a peerless beauty today."

Woman: "Sorry, I can't lend it to you."

Man: "Why?"

Woman: "because I'm going to call the hospital and say I was scared by a frog." Men's words are unique, and women's answers are even more unique. Seventh place

Man: "It's raining heavily today."

Woman: "Yes."

Man: "That's because God is drooling over you."

Woman: "So that gust of wind just now was given to you by God?" Men's words are unique, and women's answers are even more unique. No.8

Man: "Trust me … I will make you the second happiest person in the world!" " "

Woman: "Why not be the first one ..." (pretending to be cute)

Man: "With you … I am the happiest person!" " "(shallow smile)

Woman: "I think I will soon be the happiest person in the world." (daydreaming)

Man: "Why?" (doubt)

Woman: "Because I'm going to dump you."