What's the experience of living like a joke?

When I was in junior high school, I always felt that studying was useless, just like being possessed by a ghost. I didn't want to study, but hanging out with those two friends every day was nothing more than playing or making trouble in class. The worst high school in our city is one point short. At that time, I gave up on myself and didn't want to go to high school at all. But when I really passed the exam, I found myself really poor, so I had to work hard.