Placental joke

1: I smiled at the sky from the horizontal knife, and then I went to sleep.

2. The cashier said: No change. Here are two plastic bags for you!

3. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

4. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman hits small monsters!

5: My life has two sides, A and B, and yours has two sides, S and B. ..

6: I am a fat man, not a clown.

7: If Taiwan Province Province doesn't recover, I won't pass Grade 4!

8: I won't go to work until the sun comes out; If I come out, I'll go back to sleep!

9: Snails run wildly.

10: Picking up girls is like hanging up QQ. Coax her for 2 hours every day, and it will soon be sunny.

1 1: Talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, but talking about love hurts money the most.

12: I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets.

13: The accountant said, "Come and get paid later. I have no change here. "

14: Can you see my powder?

15: Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

My name is Yu, and my nickname is Runtu.

17: I am an angel, and I can't go back to heaven because of my weight.

18: once I was on the street, a group of girls stopped me. They said I was handsome, but when I denied it, they hit me and called me hypocritical.

19: it is both house and rotten, and its future is uncertain.

20: make a cup of Sanlu and give it to XX.

2 1: The most mysterious department in history: related departments.

There is no denying that mosaic is the biggest obstacle to the progress of human nude art in this century!

There are only two things I can't do in my life: neither this nor that.

24: People have backgrounds, and I have backgrounds.

25: The ideal of meat, the life of cabbage.

26: White Horse … Where did you die! Did you lose your prince and dare not come to see me?

27: Did your mother throw people away and raise the placenta when she gave birth to you?

28: Don't treat shrimp as seafood.

29: Yangzhou fried rice, please, with more chopped green onion and less salt, and an egg, packed and taken away.

30: Your mother is your father's cousin?

3 1: I have to read the Forbes rich list every morning when I get up. If my name is not on it, I will go to work.

32: There are too many liars and obviously not enough fools.

I just killed the dragon on the road, swam across the river, climbed to the top of the tower and kissed your princess.

34: Kill you with what, dear.

35: Your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.

37: Others pretend to be experienced.

38: I am not afraid of stealing tools, but I am afraid of stealing children to understand technology!

1. Money is not a problem, but no money!

2. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall!

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

4. You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you should eat at least a pair of whales. ...

6. Clear water leads to no fish, while mean people lead invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. You can see a lot, but it is not enough to use. 8. Being pregnant is just like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

9. Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

10. Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers. As soon as they opened their mouths, they said, "Hello, Miss Liu, what's your name?" Sweat ~ ~ ~ ~

1 1. A female classmate is a little black and her boyfriend is a little white. One day, the poisonous queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this. You'll have zebras."

12. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

13. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it. From then on, the world was dark.

16. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit. ......

17. To be a man, you must be a person who wanders between A Niu and Niu C.

18. My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata. ...

19. People can't hang themselves from a tree, but try to die several times in several nearby trees.

20. If you don't peel the bark, you will die. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2 1. The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

22. In fact, I have always been very popular: everyone loved me when I was a child, and now I am a bitch.

23. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

25. Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

26. As long as you work hard, you shit seriously.

27. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

28. You can go as far as you want.

29. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

30. Lovers form families.

3 1. Spring comes, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while. ..

32. Lie down where you fell.

33. If the tiger doesn't show off, you can treat me as HELLO KITTY!

34. Donkeys can look backwards ~

0 1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

02. Arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish, I finally said "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish.

03. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

05. Life can't be like cooking. You can't cook until all the materials are ready.

06. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

07. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women in XX campus will live forever. ...

09. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic. ...

10. Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs!

1 1. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

12. I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup. ...

13. Clear water means no fish, while mean people mean invincible!

14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. Today, a group of Japanese people visited our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

16. How far away your thoughts are, how far you go! ! !

17. I am poor, and so are my servants, gardeners and drivers. ...

18. When the bank charges, it says, "This is in line with international practice!" When he was in service, he said: "We must consider China's national conditions!"

19. It is not necessarily a prince riding a white horse, he may be Tang Priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

20. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

2 1. Stand higher and pee farther.

22. The minimum goal of a college student: a peasant woman, a mountain spring and a little field.

23. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and later they broke up and became "It". ...

24. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

25. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

26. Buddha said: "Looking back 500 times in previous lives, you will get a pass in this life." I would rather pass the world by 500 times in my life.

27. What can I do to kill your lover ...

28. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves. ...

30. I want to puppy love, but it's too late ...

3 1. Teacher! Just follow that old woman!

I love you! What do you care?

33. There is no limit to learning the sea, and turning back is the shore!

34. Life is interesting, because life always fucking plays with me!

I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

36. I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

37. I really want to call your grandfather in person: Dad!

38. Beijing University of Science and Technology cheated me for four years, so I plan to cheat the society with the knowledge taught by Beijing University of Science and Technology for life!

39. Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well ~ ~ ~

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

4 1. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th! ! ! (hidden)

42. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men. ...

43. If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince!

44. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He", and later they broke up and became "It". ...

45. I have never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

46. Shit, I've been complained! The client said that the mp3 file I gave him had no image!

47. Life is sometimes like being * * * by a eunuch-resistance is pain, not resistance is still pain!

48. Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!

49. It rains in the east and rains in the west, and the tutor is heartless. So I will fight with my classmates in the exam!

50. Hugging is really a strange thing. We are so close, but we can't see each other's faces.

1 dinosaur said: "When you encounter metamorphosis, you are not in a hurry; Meet animals and enjoy slowly ... "

If you can't find dinosaurs, use lizard skin.

Guan Yu, with a long beard, is personable and armed with a dragon crescent moon blade. People in Jianghu call him Dao Lang.

Men and women are just animals of desire after all! Can it really be combined because of love? I'm sorry, I don't know. .

Don't step on the wild flowers on the roadside.

6 Eating and ml are the primary productive forces.

Menstruation is not only the pain of women, but also the pain of men.

When is it time to hug each other? I'm watching the fun.

Yesterday, Tiehua smiled at me and asked me to count sheep at night, one sheep, two sheep and three sheep. ...

When 10 grows up, marry Tang Priest as a husband, and play if you can, but you won't eat him.

1 1 A man may or may not love you if he has an impulse, but he will never love you if he has no impulse!

12 Stand higher and pee farther.

13 female, sweet and fat! This woman has a hobby: she hates ants and kills them when she sees them. Ask him the old saying: this little thing loves sweets so much and his waist is so thin!

14 break the wife's lifelong system and implement the aunt shareholding system. Introduce the miss competition system and promote the lover contract system.

15 On a crowded bus, a girl suddenly shouted, Stop crowding! Stop squeezing! Squeeze all the milk out! She is holding yogurt.

16 I'm not in the Jianghu, but there are legends about me in the Jianghu.

17 I am in the Jianghu, but there is no legend of me in the Jianghu.

18 If I irrigate, call me "Theory of Three Represents" theory.

19 if reply was a virtue, I would have become a saint!

Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

2 1 The rice is in the pot and I am in bed * _ *

Love is countless meals, and marriage is a meal.

Come on, well, let's go and become a butterfly. ...

Love the environment, everyone is sick.

Love-not an idea, love-is made! !

If you love her, please do painless abortion for her!

I never write words, but I write interchangeable words!

Effect of contraception: If you don't succeed, you will become a "person".

Erection is not everything, but erection is absolutely impossible!

Don't hang yourself from a tree, try to die several times in several nearby trees ~

3 1 Not sleeping in class, but getting drunk on the wine table.

32 looks really creative and lives really bravely!

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

34 ugly, but ugly is special, that is, especially ugly!

Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

Don't you know that bed exercise can also lose weight?

It is forbidden to urinate here, and the tools will be confiscated.

I cramped when I read it, and Sven was like a diaper rash!

Buddha said that color is empty, and empty is color! Tonight, I want to be free.

Many female stars are not popular because they don't open their legs.

4 1 it is better to spend money on "the same day" than before! *^_^*

Interpretation is cover-up, and cover-up is making up stories!

The acme of the classic is the boutique point! ! !

God, did you share a room in summer and winter? Give birth to this damn weather!

45 vulnerabilities and patches Qi Fei, blue screen crash!

A beautiful woman who leaves without hugging herself often makes a satyr cry. . . . . .

Take a breath in 47 miles and practice fart outside.

Men can live, sows can climb trees!

The cheating man's IQ is second only to Einstein!

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face. . . . . .

5 1. Actually, I am a genius, just jealous of talents!

Life cannot be like cooking. All the ingredients are ready before cooking!

What matters in life is not where you stand, but the direction you face!

Since ancient times, life has never died, and you don't need paper to shit!

If you can't tell your tutor clearly, confuse him!

If I have a pair of eyes that can shed tears, it is worthwhile for me to suffer in my life.

57 when the hardware can also be copied!

Life is interesting, because life always fucking plays with me!

All unforgettable love is the moment when the soul drifts in bed!

60 days in autumn, you hold it, I hold it!

6 1 Take your advice and save me ten books!

Take off your clothes, I am an animal. Put on your clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!

Study hard for China! A pack of Chinese is a lot of money ~ ~ ~

My ID card is fake. Don't believe that I am a liar.

My mother always said that if there were no telephones, our family would not be so poor.

I like children, and I like the process of making children more!

I lost a penny by the roadside!

It's raining, don't forget to take an umbrella. If you get wet, gonorrhea will be in trouble.

The art of self-cultivation is actually the art of lying.

There is no limit to learning the sea, and turning back is the shore!

7 1 a temporary impulse, a crisis for future generations!

I am not a casual person, but if you want to be casual, I will be casual!

73 have something to do as a secretary, nothing to do as a secretary!

Keep pace with the times, you and I will reach the climax together!

As long as it's not dirty, we are the mainstream!

Only the fakes are real, and everything else is fake!

77 E network is deeply in love, hand in hand with e network. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

78 students, simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

Rogues are not terrible, just afraid of being educated.

80 things related to sex, mating with people.

8 1 who am I before birth and who am I after birth?

Death taught everything, just like the results announced after the exam-although it suddenly dawned, it was too late ~!

Don't deteriorate in debauchery, but pervert in silence!

After walking through youth, I got blisters on my feet.

Businessmen don't hate their country, prostitutes don't know about extramarital affairs.

Animals are a little pathetic, but I'm not, so I'm not an animal.

All men are created equal, except those who get married.

Exercise your muscles to prevent being beaten!

After watching all the porn in the world, I naturally have no code in my heart ~

If dinosaurs were people, what was that person?

9 1 Not as handsome and talented as me!

How can you roll in bed without a passionate kiss?

Small pits are not filled, and large pits are not filled.

94 with two pieces, brain 5 million!

95 explanation is hiding, hiding equals not being excellent, not being excellent is better than going home and having a rest! ! !

I really want to call your grandfather myself: Dad!

Microcomputer principle crisis, random process is random, real variable function is learned ten times, and assembly language can't be compiled!

Without pornography, sex education in China would be a blank!

There are few women that men think are suitable for them before marriage, but many women are suitable for them after marriage.

100 Life is a lost opportunity, but it is easier to meet each other. Honestly, who doesn't love money?

1. Push me again and I'll play dead for you!

I have not only a car, but also my own!

3. If you like it, I'll buy it for you ... (after realizing that the other person is angry) Oh, no, it's "brother, I'll buy it for you!"

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

I won't tell you if you kill me, but you haven't made a beautiful plan yet!

6. Not only am I lucky, but I also have athlete's foot!

7. Mirrors always reflect light!

8. Is there a P for handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn!

9. Give it to me, and you don't have to worry. There is nothing wrong!

10. Relax, I'm not a good person. ......

1 1. Don't worry about what will happen to my girlfriend following me-as long as she lays eggs all her life, we will break them immediately and never let the principal and parents know!

12. How dare I charge you if you don't thank me!

13. Don't tell me to bring it on-I'm in love for two generations!

14. If you ignore me, I will be a dog!

15. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

16. You can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

17. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!

18. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.

19. Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? You choose!

20. Castle Peak is still there, but it is a little red.

2 1. Hey, say what should be said and whisper what shouldn't be said.

22. Can you say stealing about a scholar?

23. Damn it, don't ask single men such questions!

24. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

25. Don't think I'm out of reach just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

26. Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy.

27. As a typical failure, you really succeeded!

I really want to kill this bug, but my tongue is not long enough. ...

29. Two heads are better than one, and one is Zhuge Liang.

30. In this golden autumn of red leaves and maple leaves. ......

3 1. One thyroid hormone is cut and the other is not cut.

32. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

33. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe!

34. A: Where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let's go to the restaurant. It's on me.-the hose.

35. See if there is anything left.

36. There is a dragon on my left and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my waist. 38. A: Without revenge, it's hard to swallow this evil spirit.

B: Then how can I let you die?

40. She is so fat that my thigh can't twist her arm.

4 1. There is a saying in Shushan, do it first, and learn from the endless sea to make porridge.

42. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to our grandchildren.

43. I will do my homework!

44. Have you done your homework?

B: Yes! Well, it's still warm under p shares ... do you want it? So you're here.

45. Who is sitting in the village today? He doesn't even clean the blackboard!

46. How much is this pair of shoes?

47. I was really blind at the beginning. ...

48. Is this blind man blind?

1. How much is this shoe?

Who is sitting in the village today? He doesn't even clean the blackboard!

3. If you like it, I'll buy it for you ... (after realizing that the other person is angry) Oh, no, it's "brother, I'll buy it for you!"

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

I won't tell you if you kill me, but you haven't made a beautiful plan yet!

6. Not only am I lucky, but I also have athlete's foot!

7. Mirrors always reflect light!

8. Is there a P for handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn!

9. Give it to me, and you don't have to worry. There is nothing wrong!

10. Relax, I'm not a good person. ......

1 1. Don't worry about what will happen to my girlfriend following me-as long as she lays eggs all her life, we will break them immediately and never let the principal and parents know!

12. How dare I charge you if you don't thank me!

13. Don't tell me to bring it on-I'm in love for two generations!

14. If you ignore me, I will be a dog!

15. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

16. You can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

17. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!

18. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.

19. Do you drink water, drink water or drink water? You choose!

20. Castle Peak is still there, but it is a little red.

2 1. Hey, say what should be said and whisper what shouldn't be said.

22. Can you say stealing about a scholar?

23. Damn it, don't ask single men such questions!

24. Zi once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital!

25. Don't think I'm out of reach just because I'm handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

26. Today the weather is fine, windy and rainy.

27. As a typical failure, you really succeeded!

I really want to kill this bug, but my tongue is not long enough. ...

29. Two heads are better than one, and one is Zhuge Liang.

30. In this golden autumn of red leaves and maple leaves. ......

3 1. One thyroid hormone is cut and the other is not cut.

32. If you bother me again, I'll tie you to a straw boat and borrow an arrow!

33. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. Pay back the money you owe!

34. A: Where to eat? I have no money.

B: Let's go to the restaurant. It's on me.-the hose.

35. See if there is anything left.

36. There is a dragon on my left and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my waist. 38. A: Without revenge, it's hard to swallow this evil spirit.

B: Then how can I let you die?

40. She is so fat that my thigh can't twist her arm.

4 1. There is a saying in Shushan, do it first, and learn from the endless sea to make porridge.

42. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to our grandchildren.