Ten jokes: I said, Grandpa, don't you know there is monitoring?

1. I went to a hotel for dinner one day and saw a couple get married. The groom's name is Wu Jianwu. The bride's second-rate friend Deng Yuling said smoothly, "Five minus five equals zero. Is there no future rhythm? " Don't hit me, I don't know him. ...

2, a female colleague said. In summer, I was walking in the street wearing a skirt, and suddenly my skirt was blown up by the wind. With a scream, I covered my face with one hand and pulled my skirt horn with the other. At this time, there happened to be a man passing by across the street. He doesn't look at me, what a pervert!

3. The neighbor has two children, an uncle and a nephew; Uncle eleven, nephew ten. These two guys are quarrelling every day. I heard my nephew scold my uncle that day: "Will you be a fucking uncle?" I don't know if you allow it, but when we change, I won't ... "Laugh! His grandmother cried and laughed, and the two guys fought together.

4. Today, I wandered around the community and saw a buddy professing in the community. I shouted downstairs, "XXX, I love you, you can be my girlfriend." I saw him shouting downstairs for a long time, but there was no response upstairs. I guess the woman didn't like him, but the next scene shocked me. I saw that buddy made a phone call and shouted, "Damn it, you ran to the wrong neighborhood."

I have been busy with my work these days, which makes me feel at a loss and agitated. Colleagues told me to combine work and rest and listen to Buddhist scriptures in my spare time to purify my mind. Don't tell me it really works. No, I lost my job. . .

6. I am a diligent programmer. After working overtime last night, I am so sleepy that I can hardly open my eyes. The female boss was very concerned and asked me if I wanted to go to dinner. I said grumpily, forget about the meal and just let me sleep. The female boss blushed, said "I hate it", and then sat next to me motionless, as if she were close to me, which made me nervous. Did she find my program flawed ... ...

7, zero, 12, watching movies with my husband, I'm hungry. "Honey, do you feel the earth is like a preserved egg?" My husband squinted at me contemptuously for 3 minutes! Speaking of "you are the only person in the world who regards the earth as a preserved egg".

8. The landlord was working the night shift in the hospital last night, and a patient came. The doctor asked him about his medical history, and the patient himself replied: My blood pressure is high and my blood sugar is high ... At this time, the patient's family said: He is tall except for being short. Forgive my uncontrollable laughter.

9. My family Dabao, after going to kindergarten, all the other children took one or two prizes home, but he was empty-handed. Grandpa teased him: Why don't you have a certificate? This product is pie mouth, and the teacher qualification certificate is not enough ... A room full of people, smile decisively!

10, I was so angry. On the bus today, a woman took my hand and insisted that I was a thief. I was so angry that I smashed 18' s wallet in front of everyone in the car: "Don't look down on people, see clearly, I'm not a thief, I'm a thief!"

happy time

I said, grandpa, don't you know there is a camera? How bold!