The children began to lie.

Parents' narrative: My daughter is almost five years old now, and she always thought that she was just an immature and unreasonable child, but relatively speaking, it was not too much trouble to raise her, and she was easy to be obedient. Recently, I found out that she was particularly fond of lying and asked her who put the plush toy dog on the floor of the corridor. She insisted that she didn't admit that it was her, and said that it must have been her grandmother. I won't punish her for doing something wrong unintentionally, but lying is obviously a deliberate mistake. At this time, I began to criticize her, and she didn't admit her mistake. She stared at me and continued to lie. Once a daughter wanted to drink water from a bottle, her father said, "You are so old, don't drink water from a bottle, drink from your small cup!" " But she insisted on drinking from a bottle. When she saw me coming, she complained, "Mom, dad won't let me drink water. "Dad was surprised:" My child, how did you learn to lie? "When did I stop you from drinking water?" Another time, the child ran to his grandmother with a pillow in his arms in the morning and said, "Grandma, I want to sleep with you." Mom let me sleep in the urine, and dad wouldn't let me get up. "The fact is that my daughter woke up in the morning and found herself wetting the bed. I didn't find it in time and didn't call her, so I got up first. She thinks her mother has neglected her. Lying down for a while, my daughter remembered that her father might be too sleepy to help her dress, so let her lie down for a while, and her daughter would say the same thing. Moreover, we have observed carefully recently and found that our daughter's ability to tell lies is getting bigger and bigger. Her father thinks it's not a good thing that her daughter deliberately lies, and her brain is too clever and her mouth is too clever. When she grows up, she will be dishonest and will definitely suffer a big loss. When she lies, she must seriously educate and criticize, and can't tolerate it. However, I think my daughter is just a little melodramatic and likes to spoil herself. The child's grandmother said that the child is timid and afraid of being criticized. The braver he is, the smaller he becomes. We adults have different views. I want to know what is the reason for my daughter's performance. I'm really worried that she will form bad habits. What should I do?

Interpretation: The mother described the situation in which the child lied. In the face of the child's performance, the father thinks that the child is lying, and the mother thinks that the child is melodramatic. The meaning of lying is that the child said something that is inconsistent with the facts, which is related to the child's cognitive judgment level and language level. Lying is that children deliberately cover up or distort the facts, which is related to morality; The melodramatic thing is that children spoil themselves and always feel wronged and complain about grievances.

In early childhood, children's self-awareness is still in the process of development. They have a very lovely nature and still retain a strong sense of self-centeredness. They like delicious food, interesting toys, especially interesting games. These are the wishes that children want to realize. In order to realize these wishes, they often fail to take into account more other factors. For example, the little girl wants to put the toy dog on the floor of the corridor to play role-playing games. This is an attempt of imagination and practice, which is very interesting, but at that time, the ground was not considered dirty. Once the mother asks this question, the child will take it seriously and be afraid of being scolded and punished by her mother. I think this is wrong, so I firmly deny the fact. Maybe it's to make myself more "innocent", or maybe grandma likes her very much at ordinary times, so she puts the blame on her. In fact, my mother just asked casually, but timid children have a strong sense of guilt. She always feels that she has made a big mistake, and both mother and daughter may have misunderstood. I wonder if my mother also thinks that putting toy dogs on the floor of the corridor is really imaginative and practical.

In addition, children already have basic thinking and judgment ability, which is the basis of knowing the truth of things and making their behavior reasonable. At the same time, they are also aware of the versatility and one-sidedness of things, the flexibility of thinking and cognition, and know that they can exaggerate or narrow things in a flexible way of thinking, or put forward the one-sidedness of things, thus distorting the nature of things to help them achieve their goals, meet their own needs, or comfort themselves and protect themselves. For example, the parent described "Dad won't let me drink the water in the bottle" as "Dad won't let me drink water". The little girl seems to have shrunk unintentionally, which not only makes up for her need to drink water from a bottle, but also puts the blame on her father.

However, no matter how flexible a child's thinking is, how profound his understanding of things is, and how strong his language organization ability is, his thinking is still not profound and incomplete. At the same time, because children are not independent, they can't actively cooperate with their parents to take care of themselves. They often put their frustrations, unhappiness and discomfort on others, and put their own responsibilities on others. For example, on the one hand, she may feel a little embarrassed to speak, and did not take the initiative to ask her mother in time; On the other hand, she is uncomfortable sleeping on a cold and wet mattress, and she is used to it. She thought that her mother would find out that she wet the bed in time and help her deal with it, but she didn't find it after getting up. She thinks her father should know that she is not feeling well and will help her. As a result, what she passively waited for did not happen, which made her feel very unhappy. Finally, in order to make up for the discomfort in the morning and the feeling of being "left out" by her parents, she took the initiative to find her grandmother.

In fact, children who can tell lies are very smart. He has been able to distinguish the relationship between imagination and reality, and also realized how to say and do to achieve his goal. This kind of "making something out of nothing" or "arguing irrationally" is the improvement of children's thinking ability. They are already very clear about what can be won and what is the last concession of adults. Therefore, in order to meet unreasonable demands and avoid punishment, they will take the initiative to avoid the factors that are unfavorable to them, and put forward the factors that they can win by themselves to make themselves look reasonable. But children don't understand the judgment of adults, and it is easy to detect their tricks. Adults will be worried when they find that children use tricks to achieve their goals. How can this child lie? In any case, honesty is the most important thing for children. This is both a virtue and a true wisdom.

Children only tell lies when they feel unsafe and fragile inside, but after telling lies, their hearts are more fragile. Those children who deliberately shirk their responsibilities and complain about others are somewhat fragile psychologically. Disadvantaged children don't always rely on their parents or the people who love them the most, but rely on the flexibility of their minds to excuse themselves by deliberately lying, lacking trust in their parents and firmness in facts and integrity. After school, I made a mistake or didn't do what I should do. For example, I didn't do my homework. Some children will be stubborn and refuse to admit the truth. Others are multifaceted, flexible and smooth, and always tell things seamlessly, which will affect the formation of children's sound morality. Therefore, when parents emphasize the facts and judge the nature of their children's lies with their strong analytical judgment ability, they must consider whether their children are unsafe and whether they can accept the "confrontation" of their parents' expressions, and treat more vulnerable children with more emotional care and more face.

Sometimes, children lie just for fun, and it makes them feel funny to watch their parents pretend to be fooled. Other children developed their imagination and language skills. Describing some "out of thin air" events and scenes can give full play to their abilities, make them feel that the game is very interesting, and at the same time exercise their imagination. Parents should not take the lies caused by these reasons too seriously, let alone seriously educate their children as lies, but communicate with them humorously as much as possible.

Guidance: When parents feel that their children are lying more and more, don't immediately doubt, let alone make sure that their children are lying, which will bring a heavy moral burden to the growth of young children. Sometimes, children often joke because they find it funny or interesting. If they are accused and criticized by their parents, they will feel at a loss, don't understand what their parents are saying, and feel that their parents are strict with themselves, but they don't know what mistakes they have made. Parents' hasty judgments often make children's naive and young minds suffer unnecessary setbacks. After all, three-year-old children are still not moral consciousness, and even have not developed good behavior habits. Labeling children as liars is not good for their mental health.

Parents are advised to keep calm with their children first, collect evidence from various sources, and then analyze, think, reason and judge what does not meet the requirements, which leads to children lying. Once they think and judge, their parents' thinking becomes clear. For example, parents think that children want to drink a bottle of water because they want to relive the feelings of infancy, but out of nostalgia and game psychology. They don't mean to be a baby who doesn't want to grow up, and don't make promises to children. When a child complains to his mother when he is frustrated, he deliberately emphasizes his father's fault one-sidedly. Dad can sincerely explain to the child: "The baby wants to drink water. Dad is especially willing to give it to you, but he thinks the baby has grown up and is capable of drinking water from a cup. But if you think it's fun to drink water from a bottle, you can try it for a while, but you can't use it too much. Other children will laugh at you like a baby when they know it. " In this way, children will get a more considerate and honest experience. In fact, there is not much restriction for children to drink water from bottles. This time, he can drink it without getting used to her delicate habit for a long time. Parents usually expect their children to grow up, and giving more encouragement when their children show growth can help them overcome the characteristics of coquetry, and children's casual lies will gradually decrease and become an honest child.

Just like a child who wets the bed early and tells lies, mom and dad should reflect on what they didn't do after the incident. At the same time, they should also judge where the children's behavior habits need to be improved. After careful consideration, they should look at the child's eyes carefully and say to the child slowly and honestly, "We really didn't know you wet the bed. I'm sorry to know that you are not feeling well, but you are a big boy, not a baby. Next time this happens, you must say it yourself and I will help you. Mom and dad love you very much. How can they let you sleep in the urine? Don't say it again. You are our good daughter and we are a family. "

Some people may think that it is a little too serious for parents to talk to their children like this. And talking like this is a bit like acting and reciting lines, which is very fake. Besides, adults are busy all day, how can they have so much time and energy to talk to their children like this? Casual and natural education is over, so why take a child so seriously.

You know, it takes a little effort to educate children. In this era, it is difficult to talk to children in the affectionate, hardworking and paternalistic way of China's parents. Today's children are smart, knowledgeable, imaginative, self-centered, sensitive, lonely, timid and distrustful of others. On the surface, they all seem to be stubborn and thoughtful.

In the era of credit crisis, children no longer trust their parents as sincerely as before, and it is even more difficult to bring up. Although they have learned more knowledge, they are cleaner and more civilized on the surface, more talkative and sweeter in tone, but they often misunderstand their parents' various practices, do not feel sorry for their parents' hardships, do not know how to be grateful, think that their feelings and judgments are correct, and are often in a state of fragility and self-defense. People with extremely high intelligence do not represent wisdom, and the smartest people are honest and trustworthy.

Parents' emotions and direct judgments on children's behavior and psychology need to be evaluated. Every time our words and deeds have a profound impact on children. If parents see every deviant behavior that their children need to correct and feel every psychological habit that their children need to establish, they can restrain their impulsive and willful bad emotions, do not make hasty judgments and blurt out some things without thinking, and investigate and think objectively and carefully in advance, their minds will be clearer, their hearts will be firmer and they will be more capable of caring for their children. When communicating with children, look them in the eyes, speak word by word, and talk to them sincerely and seriously, so that children will have a great sense of security and trust in their parents, and their psychology will be healthier. Sincerely, the stone opens the way, the more meticulous and sincere the parents are, the more honest and wise the children will be.