Knowledge-related jokes

Jack always welcomes his guests with this mantra-"I hope you don't come, because you don't know how much I will miss you." "If you get mad dog disease, what will you do first?" "I want paper and pens." "Write a will, Mom?" "No, I want to write a list of people who have been bitten by me." The patient slammed his pocket after approaching the dental hospital. Dentist: "No need to pay first." Patient: "I don't want to pay in advance, but I want to count how much money I have in my bag before you give me anesthesia." Jack asked his mother, "Can I play the piano for a while?" "Sure, but you have to wash your hands first." "No need to wash, because I only play black keys." Father: "Son, you just learned zoology." Do you know why fish only live in water? ""Because there are cats on the ground. Mom: "Xiao Pang, you are asleep, why are you still eating sugar?" Xiao Pang: "Don't you want me to sleep soundly at night?" "7. Once I made a small fortune, I came home and threw the envelope to my wife:" Girl, you did a good job last month. This is a tip from my uncle! "My wife took the envelope with a greedy expression, shook it, hugged me and kissed me. She said very amorous feelings: "thank you, it is a little girl's duty to serve you well." You often come here! " I nodded stupidly: "Oh, sure! "Roll ~ ~ ~ ~ a pair of dew mandarin ducks!

8. My wife has the problem of breathing and snoring in the cool breeze. One night after work, I burped and went home. I asked with concern, "Are you drinking wind again?" The wife sighed sadly: "What if you don't drink the wind?" ? You haven't been partial to the little girl for several days, and the little girl has no income, so she has to drink the northwest wind! "I just remembered that I haven't had sex with my wife for two or three days, so I went up to him and was all thumbs. My wife was quite cooperative at first, but the critical moment came to an abrupt end: "Well, I'd better continue to drink the wind!" " "I'm a little confused:" Why? " The wife smiled and said, "Old friends are not convenient to leave yet!" I said ~ ~ ~ ~ how did she behave so well these days!

9. On a Saturday, my wife had a normal rest and I had to work overtime.

This guy pestered me to have sex with me in the morning, and then went back to sleep contentedly, but I went to the company tired. I said hello to her and was about to leave the bedroom when my wife came up behind me and said, "Come back another day, Grandpa!" " "I nodded." Come on! " "Huh?" Thanks to my quick response, "how dare you come tomorrow! Come tonight! " "That's more like it! Go, little girl, go back to sleep! "Oh ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ wife like a tiger. Slow is really bad!

10, my wife and I fell in love when we were in college. At that time, girls were allowed to enter the boys' dormitory, and boys were not allowed to enter the girls' dormitory. One late autumn night, I made my wife angry, and she left me and went back to the dormitory. At that time, there was no mobile phone, and my wife lived on the third floor, so I cried out downstairs to apologize to her. Shouting for a long time has no effect, and more and more people are watching. Seeing that the light went out, my wife asked her roommate to throw her quilt down from the window (I gave it to her, and I know it). As soon as I saw that the situation was not good, I quickly shouted, "Please throw another pillow down!" " I don't know without the following, accompanied by laughter all over the building. Men don't suffer immediate losses, so I hurried back to the dormitory and was quilt-covered by her all night. Before I woke up the next morning, my wife stood in front of me, picked up the quilt and beat me: "You have no conscience! This girl has a cold and a runny nose. You are quite comfortable for one night! " Family ~ ~ ~ ~ You think I want to!

1 1. One winter was very cold, and my wife and I went to the park to play one weekend. Seeing many people skating on the ice on the lake, I invited my wife to skate with me, but she didn't dare. In order to prove the firmness of the ice, I set an example and ran to the ice for a while, which made my wife itch. Finally, I had the idea of trying. I carried her from the center of the lake to the shore. When I was about one meter offshore, I jumped up and proved that there was no danger. And fell into the ice hole with a bang. Fortunately, the water on the shore is shallow, and it only reaches my waist. My wife screamed with fear and almost cried. I struggled to get out of the mud. After making sure I was all right, my wife asked me seriously, "Is my little brother not frozen?" I resisted the cold and nodded hard: "Not bad, that little thing belongs to the polar bear!" " "PSST ~ ~ ~ ~ Now I feel cold when I think about it!

12, one afternoon, I was at work when I suddenly got a call from my wife. I looked very anxious: "Husband, come here quickly, I hit someone, in the Wal-Mart parking lot!" " I was really taken aback and left my job at hand and went to the scene. My wife is entangled with a semi-old woman in her forties. The semi-old lady's golf front bumper was hit by her car, and her rear bumper was slightly damaged. I lost 200 yuan to the semi-old lady and said a good word. The old woman was very happy and drove away happily. I asked my wife, "Where is the person you hit? Is it serious? " My wife, Lacey Xi, said, "I just met a handsome guy when I was backing up, and accidentally hit the car behind someone else." I don't know how much I have to pay for others, and I'm afraid of being cheated, so I have to call you! "God help me! ~ ~ ~ ~ This is also called hitting people? When will you change your lewd habits?

13, my wife has always been particularly interested in my nipples and often sleeps at night. Once, my wife asked me, "You said men don't breastfeed. What are these two little things for? " I've thought about it for a long time, but I haven't come up with an idea yet. My wife smirked at me, and I casually said, "Is it just for a pervert like you?" The wife shook her head: "No!" I asked, "What is that?" The wife said in surprise, "I think it plays a decorative role!" " ""what? "This unconventional statement surprised me." You think, men and women are the same. Women don't feed their children's breasts to play an external decorative role, while men's things are an internal decorative role. If you don't grow these two things, how can you take off your chest without such embellishment? Good looking? "Alas ~ ~ ~ ~ It's a pity that my wife didn't do interior decoration design.