Love joke

1, I miss you so beautiful, stuffed Xinjiang roast lamb leg. I miss you very fat, but it's heavy in my heart.

2. Hello, dear! Sorry, I have to stand you up again. The Monkey King, Friar Sand and Tang Priest and I went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. It may take three or five years to come back. Wait for me!

If your eyes blink, I will die. If your eyes blink again, I will come back to life. Your eyes keep blinking, so I will die!

When the ninth letter falls in love with the letter 2 1, will you accept me? (that is, when I fell in love with you)

5. If you are chilling, I am spring; If your heart is bitter, I am sweet; If you are sad, I am smiling. Maybe I am not everything to you, every day, but I am by no means a burden to your life.

6, don't be afraid, the person who loves you is still there; Don't guess, he is still your first love; Wipe away the dust brought by the wind and you will find that love is not as helpless as you think. He is the happiness of your life!

7, wife, I miss you, send text messages to harass you, I really want to kiss you and hold you in my arms. I don't know where it is at this time, so I have to keep it in my heart!

8. I am afraid that I will get an electric shock when I see you; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I'll cut off the power. Love you is my career, miss you is my career, hug you is my specialty, kiss you is my specialty!

9. Say that money is a sin and everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

10, love you for ten thousand years, exaggeration! Love you for five thousand years, hopeless! Love you for a thousand years, ridiculous! Love you for a hundred years, too long! Loving you for 70 years in a row is my strength!

1 1. A man will never refuse any woman who feels good, even if he has a woman.

12. I didn't see your mood get worse when your heart beat faster. I dreamed that your time passed too fast. Will it be a long wait to have you?

13, before marriage, men often give women "blank checks"; After marriage, men often write "empty checks" to women.

14, you are water, I am sand, and I am mixed with you! You are a hook, I am a fork, and together we are friends!

15, do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

16, will you be my girlfriend? Now you have four choices: A is my girlfriend, B is willing to be my girlfriend, and C is very willing to be my girlfriend, above D.

17, think about how beautiful a person is, even if only memories can be used for reference, until one day you and I are old and memories are shining with white hair. At least I know clearly that I will smile as long as I think of you.

18, time: for life; Location: No matter where; Person: me, you; Event: Big baby loves little baby.

19, men's biggest secrets are often told to confidantes, not to the same sex, family or wife. When the confidante became a wife, this part of her power was immediately revoked. This is called gain and loss.

20. Being single is an understanding, falling in love is a mistake, breaking up is an awareness, getting married is a mistake, divorce is an awakening, remarriage is a bigotry, having no lover is a waste, and many lovers are animals.

2 1, m: Every time I miss you, the star drops a tear. That's how the ocean was formed. Woman: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

22. Snowflakes are floating in the blue sky, and beautiful leather shoes leak their feet. Your acquaintance with me is a myth. Please call me back gently!

23, nose to face to propose marriage, unexpectedly face strongly opposed, there is only one reason: I want the tragedy of black and blue to happen to me.

24. "Love" is a very strong word. The upper part of it is taken from Metamorphosis, and the lower part is taken from Metamorphosis.

25. When I passed the drugstore, I turned around and thought of you: the more I felt like a "medicine bottle". Don't be angry, because you are my medicine-my mind, body and heart are occupied by you! Baby, I love you!

26. I don't know why human beings must get married. ! Let's study it together!

27. I prayed in front of the Buddha for 500 years, just to be a blooming little flower on your only road.

28, stab you with a knife, I am afraid of seeing blood; Poison you, too many fake drugs; Electrocute you, the electricity bill is too expensive, drown you, maybe you can swim. Forget it, I still want to die of you!

29. There are many women in the world, and men say that there is more than one woman worthy of love; There are countless men in the world, but women say that there is only one man worthy of love.

30, first love, goodbye infatuation, worry all day long, want to win the heart, take great pains, want to rush the heart, don't you know my heart!

3 1, who can recite my mobile phone number? Who can recite my QQ? Who knows my birthday? Who knows what I'm afraid of. Who remembers what I like?

32. You are a little aura, I am a little silly, you are a little delicate, I am a little rustic, you are a little fragrant, and I am a little alcoholic. If you are angry, I will not be angry.

33. How do you know that you are in love with me? M: I can't sleep because I miss Nian. Woman: This is not enough proof, because my mother can't sleep for you, but I know she doesn't love you!

34. Take care of your wife, be a civilized husband, and "call back, scold back, and greet the cold face with a smile."

35. I went shopping two days ago and passed by the Civil Affairs Bureau. I saw many people there. When I asked, I thought of you when I said it was cheap to get married now. Let's get married too. My treat!

36, kiss you, you are chocolate; Kiss you, cream mixed with honey; Kiss you, you are coke and sprite; Kissing you is just-I love you.

I am not so busy, so I want to find a part-time job. Major: undergraduate in love! Specialty: Wash dishes and brush pots! Ability: I love you needless to say! Salary requirements: your heart! Ideal contract period: valid all year round and never quit!

38. The family is poor and ugly, with a primary school education, a rural hukou, a broken house with three thin acres, and his wife has a cold pot and a hot stove. I don't want to leave my mouth all year round. Today, I want a girlfriend by text message, and I dare to ask if I want it!

39. The flowers in the wall are red outside the wall, so there is no way to pick flowers. If you want to spend, you have to thank, and a joy is empty.

40. I like to stare at your sleeping face, sometimes smiling, sometimes frowning, sometimes whispering, sometimes sighing ... waiting for a kiss and telling you "good morning" when you open your eyes. I think this should be happiness.

4 1, I don't love you. I lied to you. I don't want to lie, but I just don't love you. I just want to lie to you. I can't let you guess my heart.

42, mud is a nest! Mud is the smell of the nest! I look at the mud affectionately! I want to say to mud, I lack mud! (Please read aloud)

43. Love is the yearning of the heart, the ringing of feelings, the collision of inspiration, the shining of lightning, the sweet dew and the intoxicating pure wine. Happy Valentine's Day!

44. come on In this confession of lovesickness, I am your prisoner, and I am willing to wait for you all my life.

45. I'm ugly but I'm gentle, I'm thin but I'm full of tendons, I'm soft-hearted but my legs are not short. I will catch up with you and go to the ends of the earth.

46. I still remember when I was a child, my father once told me. Don't fall in love early. It turns out! That's because only waiting for your appearance can my true love be staged.

47. Persistence+miss+jealousy+doubt+sweetness+distress+happiness+jealousy+blushing+coquetry = love.

48. My family name is me! Love You! Miss you! I understand you! Fang Ming loves you! The baby's name is miss you! This book is called Dream of You! Wei Ming is hitting on you! The nickname is chasing you! My friend asked me to take care of you! You can let me kiss you!

I can't promise you anything, but I will do it. If one day you feel hungry, then you will smile and see that I have starved to death in your arms.

50. I am afraid that I will get an electric shock when I see you; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I think I will cut off the power. Love you is my career, miss you is my career, hug you is my specialty, kiss you is my specialty!

5 1, looking for a girlfriend: I have the same personality as you, the same looks as you, the same looks as you, the same cuteness as you, and the same feeling as you!

52. I know that you love me as God loves lambs and your loving mother loves babies. Your kindness and kindness make me feel all kinds of warmth and intoxication.

Love your strengths, know your weaknesses, and be ready to forgive your mistakes. 5 13 142 1

Please pay attention to men: don't try to reason with women. It is the fate of this planet that a creature can bleed for seven days a month and not die.

Baby, you are the best gift from God, and I will treasure you in the deepest part of my love. Until we get old! Until the end of my life! I miss you, kiss you and love you!

56. Lovers will eventually buckle meat, and pig pockets will appear in lovers' eyes. If the relationship is long-term, it is not pork and pork. We want to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and I want to be a pig.

57, like a grandson when you are in love, obedient; After engagement, learn to talk back like a son; Give orders like Lao Tzu after marriage!

58. Poplar stems are slippery. I pick rice. Yangzhou loves my family. I love Yangzhou Huaniu.

Honey, I can't do anything without you. My only gain these days is to understand some idioms: one day is like a year, one day is Sanqiu, one day is autumn water, and one day is acacia!

60, you are the sun in the sky, I am the mountain on the ground; You are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the ground; You are a crow flying in the sky, and I am a dog chasing on the ground.

6 1, dear, please listen to me: "For you, I can spend nine days on the moon and go to the five oceans to catch turtles!" Because: that "moon" is you, and that "turtle" is you!

62. I would like to be a winged bird in the sky, because the air pollution is too bad; Make branches on the ground again, and deforestation is not reliable; People in the world should be happy, and environmental protection should come first!

63. My mother in the country said that a distant relative is better than a close neighbor. I said that few people in the city know each other.

64. The price of loving you is $330 for breakfast (I miss you), $380 for lunch (I want to hug you), $370 for dinner (I want to kiss you) and $0/314520 for midnight snack (I love you all my life).

65. You are my cotton-padded jacket in winter and ice cream in summer. You are the Apollo in my life. I am willing to pull a scooter and collect junk for you! I hope I can walk side by side with you, and Qian Shan will certainly walk!

66. You, you, you goblin, poisoned me with your love poison, but you didn't give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

You can call me whatever you want, but you should kiss me twice. As long as you are willing to get married tomorrow, you are not afraid to suck the marrow. Marrying a wife is nothing, and my head has dropped a big bowl.

68. Don't be angry when your wife hits you. This is a kiss. Wife says you are a pig. Don't be angry, scolding is love. The wife beat and scolded, all for love.

69. I love you as much as a dollar. The Great Wall of Wan Li witnessed our first love. I love you as much as I love five yuan, and the Three Gorges of the Yangtze River is like our feelings winding. I love you as much as ten yuan, forever!

70. I am very tired on the road of love, and I am also very tired in love. Even if you don't care about me, I love you without regrets.

7 1, my love is like the stars in the sky, countless; My feelings are like cabbage gangs, which can't be cooked badly; You treated me like a beggar, left some affection behind and ran away. Please love more.

72. Dancing is too tiring and singing is expensive. Let's have a reunion, miss the taste of campus, avoid being single and heartbroken, give back to each other and make a few pairs!

73. Before marriage, what couples do is "romance"; After marriage, everything husband and wife do is "waste".

74. Last night, I had a dream in which God asked me who I loved most. I said, when I sent this message, the first person I saw was my favorite! Did you get a look at him?

75. I have an unknown poem. No one knows all over the world. Only fools and I know. A fool is reading this poem.

76. Red sweet is watermelon, talkative is cucurbitaceae, quack is frog, and reading information is a fool.

77. One pair of two said, "If we can be together, it's really true."

78. If you love me, just press it! Urgent ... hey, hey! I told you ... you pressed it because you love me! You are still pressing ... I will tell you that you love me and deny it. I can't stand you ... you press it again ... okay! I love you too!

79. Listen, it's all because of you. You always compare women to water. Water resources are scarce now.

80. If you can look at me until I become an ugly old bald man with a big belly, then I will look at you until you become a shriveled and wrinkled old lady.

8 1, a man's proudest person is not how many women he has, but how many men his women are willing to reject for him.

82. Are you secretly thinking about me? Are you really thinking about me secretly? If you really miss me, just tell me. I won't let you miss me. Be reasonable. I miss you too!

83. Don't be surprised if you receive it. Anyone who is too timid to confess, choose a season to love you. You have to love me if you run too fast.

I just found out that when I can't get through to you, the person who says "I'm sorry" is always moving.

85. The white rabbit turned white, pricked up its ears, heard the beep of the mobile phone, put down the radish and cabbage, and quickly returned a message!

Dear, you always say that I love to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I can spend nine days fishing for the moon and five oceans catching turtles!" Because: that "moon" is you, and that "turtle" is you!

87. I looked at the stars at night and found something unusual. There is a rare lucky light around your sign. What happened? I calculated and calculated, wow! So I'm in love with you!

88. He was discharged on Monday. Tuesday, hand in hand. Wednesday, "First Kiss". Thursday, in love. Friday, beautiful lies. Saturday, romantic "kiss goodbye". Sunday, rotation.

89. I met you by chance, paid attention to you twice, dated you three times and four times, missed you very much, and 90% should like you. I'm sure I love you.

90. Mu proposed to Kou, but Kou refused: Although we live very close, my mother said that if you stare at me, you will stay. We are not suitable.

9 1, men are semi-finished products 20, finished products 30, fine products 40, best products 50, top products 60, waste products 70 and souvenirs 80.

92. rival in love, rival in love, I hate you and secretly turn away MyHoney；; I won't hit you or scold you, as long as you love her to the end, or I'll tear you to pieces!

93. Beautiful scenery makes you the most beautiful in my heart. White clouds and blue sky, love you like jumping; The moon in the water, the sky, I miss you a thousand times.

94. A first-class man has a home outside his home; There are flowers outside the second-class men's house; Third-class men find a home in flowers; Fourth-class family members go home from work; The wife of a fifth-class man is not at home; A sixth-class man has no wife and no home.

95. Two people send text messages to convey their affection, which is called love. It is narcissism if they only send it but don't receive it. It is unrequited love if they only send it and receive it. It is love if they often send it and receive it.

96, you are bad, you are bad, take roses as a dish, drive a BMW as a donkey, pretend to be blind when you see ugly, pretend to be bored when you see beautiful, pretend to be strange when you meet spicy, regret when you see information, or I will kick you!

97. Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Just waiting for your words. If you agree, we will get married. If you don't agree, we will divorce.

98. When cooking, a crab pushed out of the pot cover and said to you, "I'm hot!" "answer: if you want to be red, you can bear it.

99. A broken jar has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly love. As long as love is as deep as the sea, Asako can shine.

100, good flowers are planted on cow dung. If any boy doesn't want to mix up, I'll protect you if you marry me ... Hum, don't be afraid, I'll send my brother to cut him right away. Who said that? Tell me.