A joke story of about 100 words

① 100-word funny story

If you can hold back your laughter, you are considered cruel

1. Five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang. Call Bai Bai Yuan Qian:

"Hey! Your son is here. If you don't want us to tear up the ticket, you can exchange it for him with yourself!"

Hundred Yuan Qian thought for a moment and said:

"Tear it up, you won't even have 5 yuan if you tear it up!"

2. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp.

Magic Lamp: "I can only grant you one wish, tell me quickly, I'm in a hurry."

Man: "I want a wife..."

The magic lamp immediately transformed into a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "You are almost starving to death and you still covet beauty! How sad!" After that, she disappeared.

Person: "...cake."

3. The earthworm family was very bored today, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and went to play badminton.

< p> Mother earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong.

Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!"

The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football."

4. The panda man wants to have sex with the panda girl, but the panda girl resists vigorously and refuses to obey.

After the failure, the panda man said angrily: "We are all going extinct!"

5. The tortoise and the hare...the hare quickly ran to the front ...

The turtle saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I will carry you...

p>

Then... the snail came up...

After a while... the turtle saw another ant... .. Said to him: Come up too...

So the ants also came up.

After the ant came up... saw the snail above... and said to him: Hello

Do you know what the snail said?

The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...

6. A man and a woman are having dinner

The girl has been Ask that boy: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and continued to eat dinner

The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me?

The boy finally said: Love

The girl asked again: How do you prove it?

Suddenly the boy took thirty yuan out of his pocket.

Let’s ask the girl: Do you have ten yuan?

The girl gave ten yuan to the boy...

The boy put forty yuan on the table

After a while... ...

The girl asked the boy angrily: Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have proved it! Forty is right in front of you!

7. One day at the snack street

I found a shop selling egg tarts

Each one looked very delicious and I wanted to buy one to try.

I asked the clerk: Is this sold individually?

Clerk: No, this is Japanese.

8. One day, a fire broke out in the house.

The parents escaped, except for one son who was still inside.

The mother shouted nervously outside the house:

"Son...what are you doing...it's already on fire and you haven't come out yet... ."

The son replied: "I am wearing socks..."

The mother said again, "Why should I wear socks if there is a fire..."

p>

Five minutes later, the son still hasn’t come out...

The mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what are you doing? Come out quickly~ It’s all on fire, why don’t you wait? Inside..."

The son said, "I am taking off my socks..."

9. A man went fishing by the river

p>

First he pierced a leaf, and no fish took the bait for a long time. Then he changed it to a piece of bread, and again no fish took the bait for a long time.

He had no choice but to change it to earthworms. Still no fish took the bait for a long time. ~~

In anger, he took out 100rmb, threw it into the water and cursed:

"*-%#% What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself!!!"

p>

10. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in a mine.

The boss is an American. He said to the German: You are in good shape and you are responsible for the coolies.

To the French: You said you are an engineer and you are responsible for the mining plan.

To the Japanese, he said: You are very thin. You are responsible for supplies.

Then the next week, they started working.

A few days later, the Germans and French discovered that the Japanese were missing. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work.

When the Germans started working, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted:

"Surprise!"

11. "I can't see clearly. Something far away,” the patient told the ophthalmologist.

"Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside, pointed at the sun in the sky, and asked, "What do you think that is?"

"The sun." the patient answered.

"Then how far do you want to see!"

12. One day the animals smelled a bad smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said: I am too young to fart such a smelly thing, it must be a cow.

The cow said: I am a grass eater and will not fart so smelly.

Pig said: People who fart will definitely blush.

Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, beat the pig away and said: How many times have I told you that my blush is natural.

13. A man met God one day...

God suddenly became kind and planned to give that person a wish...

< p> God asked...

Do you have any wish...

The man thought about it...

I heard that cats have 9 lives...

Then please give me 9 lives...

God said. .....

Your wish has come true...

One day, that person was bored...

I want to just die...

I have 9 lives anyway

Just lie on the railroad tracks...

As a result, a train drove past...

The man was still dead...

Why is this?

Because there were 10 carriages in that train...

14. One day, three people were sent to the funeral home. Strangely enough, they all smiled after death. It's ^_^...

The funeral director asked pol.ice very puzzled: Why do their faces after death look like ^_^?

pol.ice said: This... it’s a long story... Look at the person on the left... he was having sex with his wife In the spring night...at the last moment...I couldn't bear it...and died.

The administrator replied: Alas... ..Wish to die under flowers... Even a ghost can be romantic... So how did the one in the middle die?

pol.ice: That one in the middle... He... What a tragedy... He was walking on the road... Suddenly he heard He won the jackpot... with a prize of more than 700 million...

When he laughed happily... he was hit by an oncoming car... ....As a result...it died...

The administrator replied: Alas...he is really not blessed to enjoy this glorious and wealthy queen. Half a lifetime... What about the rest of this one?

pol.ice: ...This one's death is a bit pitiful... He was struck to death by lightning while climbing a tree

The administrator replied: ... This is a bit wrong, why are you still laughing after being struck by lightning...

pol.ice said: Because he climbed a tree Later he thought... there was a sudden flash of lightning...

He thought... someone was taking a photo of him...

15. It is said that thousands of years ago, whether they were male or female dogs, they squatted when urinating.

It was not until the Tang Dynasty that things changed...

Everyone, everyone has heard of Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty! His old man had a pair of Pekingese dogs. Once, Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty went to Mount Huashan to offer sacrifices to heaven and took this pair with him...

Halfway through the sacrifice, the female dog suddenly became anxious and ran behind a tree. Solved,

This was a very disrespectful behavior when worshiping the sky, so it angered the Jade Emperor.

The Jade Emperor ordered Thunder God to hit a thunder, which happened to hit the tree and the tree fell. , crushed the female dog to death, and the male dog was very scared after seeing it...

From then on, every time the male dog urinates under the tree, he will stretch out one foot and push against the tree,

To prevent the tree from falling down on you...

② The hilarious joke (about 100 words) should be hilarious

Little x went to visit the bird market again. I found a parrot priced at 3 yuan.

So he asked the seller: Why is your parrot so cheap?

Seller: My parrot is stupid! Damn I taught it for a long time.

Until now, I could only say one sentence - "Who is it?"

Little x thought it was cheap anyway, so he bought it.

When he got home in the evening, he thought, "I don't believe in you and I can't teach you!", so little x taught him to say other words all night long.

But in the morning, the parrot still only said "Who is it?", so Xiao X got angry, locked the door and went to work.

After a while, a gas bill checker (little z for short) came.

Little Z, "Dong dong dong..." (knock on the door)

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: Check the gas.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: Check the gas.

Parrot: Who is it?

Little z: Check the gas.

At night, little x came back. I saw a man lying on the ground at the door of my house, foaming at the mouth.

Little x: Yo~! Who is this?

I heard from inside the house: Gas check.

A man was sentenced to 12 years in prison and was quite bored in prison. One day, he found that an ant actually understood what he said, so he began to train it. A few years later, the ant could not only stand on its head but also do somersaults, which made him quite proud. When he was finally released from prison, the first thing he did was run to the bar to show off his magical ant. He first ordered a glass of beer from the bartender, then took the ant out of his pocket and put it on the table. He said to the bartender: "Look at this ant..." The bartender came over and immediately slapped the ant to death, and then said apologetically He said to him: "I'm sorry, I'll get you a new one right away!"

③ Funny story of about 100 words

Brother's wish:

In my naked days, my Chinese teacher taught me a text that told the story of an old man who took out his stool. It started when I would point my finger at people and scold them, and now this article has always accompanied my growth!

Human beings think that kind of behavior is SB, but since I was little, I think that kind of behavior is the real NB. I know it’s hard for you to understand this, and it doesn’t matter. Because if you understand, you will no longer be SB. I can understand it because of NB. I said that it grew up with me because I abandoned it countless times in my life, making it feel that it could not leave me. Now I can control it freely. Come and take it as you please, and make the most of it. My life has been in a hurry. I think that after occasionally showing off my talents, I have to remain anonymous, so I have been running, running towards my ambition. Speaking of this, you must not know what my ambition is, brother There is no need to hide it from you now, because brother is leaving. Leave this world behind. Although I am very reluctant to part with it. But I still have to make a decision. Although you have a strong smile on your face, I can feel that you are crying inside, and I am also laughing. Brother smiled proudly, but he was not satisfied. My heart never sheds tears. My heart was never lonely, but now I am a legend. Don't miss me, and I won't be lonely, because I will accompany you when I am lonely. I can live a free and easy life because I have put aside everything and Brother Tian who accompanied me when I grew up. Only one person in my life can miss me. She grew up naked with her. Brother remembers everything. Now she has seen through everything, seen through brother, and seen through the legend. Brother is now a legend to her, and she is also a legend to him. On this square earth, she and I could only look at each other diagonally. Brother will not come to her, and she will not come to see him, because there is a legend between him and her, so he and she have to maintain this legend of Yinba (foreign bird language, Chinese translation means IMBA) . She is the legendary sister, she is the legendary sister. Before she left, she told me not to miss her, because she is a legend. Now I am telling you not to miss her, because she is a legend. Now I am telling you not to miss her. I am just a legend. I am not saying this as a senior, because brother Just say what you want to say, not learn only when you want to learn. My sister didn’t leave just because she wanted to. She left because my brother didn’t want to stay. If you see brother and sister walking together one day, it doesn’t mean that this legend has been broken or wrong, it means that brother and sister have surpassed the legend. It’s not that brother is not a legend, but that brother is walking in the path of legend. In the past, so at that time, my brother was no longer the legendary brother, and my sister was no longer the legendary sister, but my brother was a legend and my sister was a legend.

I'm very low-key, so I won't say much more. My wish is that I can live an ordinary life.

So don’t miss me, let me continue to be a legend! ~~~

④ I want a funny story of about 100 words!

I still remember the first teacher who died because of me.

I was in the first grade of elementary school at that time, and the teacher took us to the wild for nature practice classes. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows branching, the teacher couldn't help but think of a question, so he asked: "Students, do you know how to identify the direction of the wind?" "I know!" A little girl in the class answered while picking up the wind from the ground. A leaf was thrown into the air. "Pick up a piece of something and throw it into the air. Watch it float in that direction. Then you will know." "Well, very good." The teacher praised, "Then which other students are willing to do it again?" Let me show you what kind of wind is blowing now?"

"Me!" I volunteered and walked out, picked up half a brick from the ground and threw it into the air... "Report to the teacher, now The wind was blowing up and down! "... I can't remember clearly what the teacher's expression looked like at that time. I only remember that he died of exhaustion after struggling desperately for a few times. Later, according to the doctor in the hospital, he died due to a sudden strong stimulation, which caused the blood to go backwards and become a demon. In this way, I killed a people's teacher.

⑤ 100-word joke

Pick your own!

A county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report: Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! Translation: Comrades and fellow villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, it's a meeting now! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Sausage and pickles for pickles! Translation: Now let’s ask the mayor to speak! The mayor said: Rabbits, the dog has eaten today’s meal, everyone is a big bastard! Translation: Comrades, today’s meal is enough, everyone should have a big bowl! If you don't want melon, I'll pick up dog poop and lick it for you. Translation: Don’t talk, let me tell you a story

One day I went to a restaurant to eat dumplings with a foreign friend

The beautiful waitress came to inquire. My friend always refused to let go. Every opportunity to practice Chinese, he rushed to ask, "How much does it cost to "sleep"?

The lady was embarrassed and very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings cost.

.....

When the dumplings were served, I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He called over the lady again and asked if there was any "program"?

The lady said cheerfully, "Yes, what kind of program do you want?"

"It's the yellow one..."

1. Q: The World What kind of chicken can run fast? What kind of chicken is slow?

A: KFC Chicken Nuggets (fast)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

2.Q: What animal is most likely to be attached to the wall?

A: Poster Leopard

3. The eleventh book is incredible (book11)

4. A person is painted gold and becomes a blockbuster (a Famous Jinren)

5. Yu told Xiao Ming that her father was impotent and could not stop (Yu’s father couldn’t)

6. Eating with chopsticks was popular among the people (Chopsticks to the people)

< p> 7. Which song has the word "李玟" in the lyrics? The moon represents my heart (

Li Min, how deep I love you...)

8. Which color is the best to imitate? - Red (mill)

9.2 Which country has the most uniform military bases, China, Japan, and the United States?

Answer: Japan... .There is a singer in Japan named Hamasaki Ayumi~~~

10. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle answered the phone and said, "Yang feeds the yin" (sheep phone eagle feeds

11. There are ten sheep, nine of them are squatting in the sheep pen, and one is squatting in the pig pen. With the sound of "porphyry", what do you think he pulled out~~? That's celery dung (diligence)!!! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: Yellow

Because: Qin Shihuang (celery yellow)

13. Which Chinese character is the coolest?

Answer: Thong (cool)

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn it, what can I do?

2. Female: "As long as you have money. , I can marry anyone." Man: "Will you marry the bank safe?" 3. Patient: "Doctor, you left the scissors in my stomach." "It doesn't matter. I still have one."

4. Two counterfeiters accidentally made fake 15-yuan bills. They decided to take them to a remote mountainous area to spend them. When they bought a 15-yuan bill, They cried, and the farmer gave them two pieces worth 7 yuan.

5. The minimum standard for a college student; peasant woman, Shanquan, a little bit of land

7. .I said you were a pig, and you said: I am a pig. From then on, I called you "a pig"! Finally one day, you couldn't help shouting to everyone: I am not a pig!

8. Judge: Why did you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: Because I can’t print real money. 9. Thief A: “Quickly count the ones I robbed today. How much is it?" Thief B: "No, I'll find out in the newspaper tomorrow.

”

10. The sun was really nice last night.

11. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was hesitant because the car dealer didn’t have an auspicious license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile: "This license plate is good 00544 (let me try it). I guarantee that no one will dare to mess with it. It's not bad."

The rich man was tempted and bought the car immediately. There was a car accident the next day. The rich man got out of the car angrily, thinking that you would hit this car, but when he got out of the car, he immediately walked away in despair. It turned out that the other person's license plate was 44944 (just try it). < /p>

12. The fortune teller said to the lady: "You are not in good luck. "" Why? "Because you carry a bad omen." ”

“Then can I take off my bra?” "No, once you get rid of the bad omen, two evil things in your life will appear."

Here are your ears

The newly appointed county magistrate was from Shandong. Because he had to hang up the accounts, he said to the master: "You give me

and buy two "Here comes a bamboo pole."

The master misunderstood the Shandong dialect "bamboo pole" as "pork liver" and quickly agreed and hurriedly ran to the butcher shop to tell the owner. Said: "The new county magistrate wants to buy two pork livers. You are a sensible person.

You should know it in your heart!"

The shopkeeper is a smart man and he understands it as soon as he hears it. Two pig livers were immediately cut off and a pair of pig ears were given as a gift.

After leaving the butcher shop, the master thought to himself: "The master asked me to buy pork liver, of course these pig ears are mine..." So he wrapped the hunting ears OK, put it in your pocket. Returning to the county government office, he reported to the county magistrate

"Report to the master, I bought pork liver!"

The magistrate saw that what the master bought back was pork liver, and said angrily: "You Where are the ears?”

When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied:

“The ears... the ears... are here... in my... mine. In your pocket! ”

Make it when you see chickens

Once upon a time there was a landowner who loved to eat chickens. The tenants rented his land and had to pay the rent alone.

< p> You have to give him a chicken first.

There was a tenant named Zhang San who went to pay rent to the landlord at the end of the year and shared the land for the second year.

When he went there, he put a chicken in a bag and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about the land tenure in the second year.

When the landlord saw that he was empty-handed, he With his eyes raised to the sky, he said: "There are no three kinds of chickens allowed in this field."

Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. When the landlord saw

the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"

Zhang San said: "Your words become so fast!"

The landlord replied: "That sentence just now was 'nonsense (chicken) talk', but now this sentence is 'made after seeing

an opportunity (chicken)'."

There are "flights" available

A salesman went to Guangzhou on a business trip. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to take a plane there

but was afraid that the manager would not agree to reimburse him. So he sent a telegram to the manager: "You can take advantage of the opportunity. Can you take it?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought that the "opportunity" to close the deal had arrived, so he immediately called back: "If you can take it, take it." p>

Take a flight. ”

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse travel expenses, the manager did not agree to the reimbursement because he was not qualified enough to take the plane

Airfare. The salesman took out the manager's call back. The manager was dumbfounded.

Related to the place name

On New Year's Day evening, my younger brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more

reserved.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and pointed at the reserved classmate and introduced us: "He is from

Burma, so he is quite shy." Then he raised his wine glass. Toast everyone, raise your head and take a sip

Finish it, and then say: "I am from Yangon."

The principal is angry

The principal is at the end of the semester At the school affairs meeting at that time, I was furious about the low efficiency of personnel administration.

He said: "The person who is responsible for the director's business is ignorant; the person who is responsible for personnel management is unconscious;

The person who is an officer is not an officer!"

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host Said: "Please pickles, sausages and pickled melons!"

(Translation: Now let the township chief speak!)

The township chief said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal, everyone They’re all big bastards!”

(Translation: Comrades, today’s meal is enough, let’s all have a big bowl!)

No pickles, I’ll pick up some dog shit Give you a lick. ． ．

(Translation: Don’t talk, let me tell you a story...)

A county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, Pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive!”

(Translation: Comrades, villagers, please be careful! Don’t talk, it’s a meeting now!!)

⑥ A long joke story of more than 100 words

A man brought a doctor to see his wife. He invited the doctor into the back room and waited outside the door.

Soon, the doctor stuck his head out and asked, "Do you have a screwdriver?"

After a while, the doctor asked for pliers again. Next, ask for the hammer. The man finally couldn't help it anymore: "What disease does my wife have?"

Doctor: "I don't know, my medicine box hasn't been opened yet!"

⑦ Ask for a joke Story (about 100 words)

One day I got on the bus with a good friend. The front was full, so I ran to the back and there were just two seats left.

I sat down After getting off, there were two middle school boys sitting in the front row. After one stop, a woman in her 20s led a 7 or 8-year-old boy onto the bus. (Later I found out that this was her child: ()

There was no seat, so I stood next to the two middle school students. After a while, the child got angry and said that his legs hurt. .

The middle school student stood up and offered his seat to the child.

The *** said: Let the child sit on your lap.

< p> The middle school student agreed. The child sat on the middle school student's lap.

After a few stops, a girl came up. She was very beautiful, and she was also wearing very sexy clothes. Breasts, short skirt.

As the bus was driving, the child suddenly shouted to his mother:

“Mom, my brother’s little pussy is moving!” Just like dad."

Wandering around!

Haha, there was a commotion in the car.

The middle school student was so ashamed. He pulled his classmates and shouted at the driver:

"Ring the bell!!" (He wanted to shout open the door, haha)

Then, he got off the car

----November 30. On the same day, a leader of No. 7 Coal Company said in an interview that the main cause of the "11·27" mining disaster was the poor implementation of rules and regulations by underground miners, and the quality of workers was still far from our requirements.

< p> ⑧ A 100-word joke.

A man was sentenced to 12 years in prison and was quite bored. One day, he found an ant that could understand him, so he started training. A few years later, the ant could not only stand on his head, but also do somersaults, which made him quite proud. When he was finally released from prison, the first thing he did was to go to the bar and prepare to show off his magical ant. /p>

He first ordered a glass of beer from the bartender, then took the ant out of his pocket and put it on the table. He said to the bartender: "Look at this ant..." The bartender came over and immediately Beat the ant to death, and then say to him apologetically: "I'm sorry, I'll give you a new one right away!"

(8) Extended reading of a joke story of about 100 words:

Joke classification

Jokes are divided into ancient jokes, military jokes, children's jokes, animal jokes, fools' jokes, couples' jokes, adult jokes, humorous jokes, cold jokes, Internet jokes, horror jokes, folk jokes , medical jokes, sports jokes, dating jokes, traffic jokes, celebrity jokes, family jokes, disgusting jokes, love jokes, dialect jokes, etc.

⑨ A humorous story of 100 words

His father asked Xiao Ming to buy a bottle of wine and told him that no matter how much the boss charged, he would pay half the price. Xiao Ming nodded and asked: How much does this wine cost? Boss: 80. Xiao Ming: No, 40. Boss: About 60. Xiao Ming: No, 30. Boss: Then 40. Xiao Ming: No, 20. Boss: 30 is enough! Xiao Ming: No, 15! The boss was angry: I might as well give it to you for free! Xiao Ming: No, I have to give away two bottles. The boss vomited blood! ?

⑩ A humorous joke story of about 100 words

<

<

Please accept if you are satisfied