I need a joke in psychology class~Who can help~

1: Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: Please let me go, don’t roast me to eat. The man said: Okay, then let me ask you a few questions. Squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test! Then the man grilled the squid...

2: I once suffered from schizophrenia, but now we have recovered.

4: One day, Mung Bean committed suicide by jumping off the 5th floor. He bled a lot and turned into a red bean. He continued to bleed and turned into a soybean. The wound became scarred and finally turned into a black bean.

5: Xiao Ming had his hair cut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying~ he flew up...

6: There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked...

7: Little One day the penguin asked his grandma, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asked his father again, "Dad, daddy, am I a penguin?" Yes, you are a penguin, what’s wrong?” “But, why do I feel so cold?”

8: A pair of corns fell in love... so they decided to get married... On the wedding day... a corn looked for There was no more corn... This corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our corn? Popcorn: Dear, she is wearing a wedding dress...

9: Music The teacher played a piece by Beethoven in class

Xiao Ming asked Xiao Hua: "Do you know music?" Xiao Hua: "Yes"

Xiao Ming: "Then you know What is the teacher playing? "Xiaohua: "Piano."

10: Q: Two people fell into the trap. What are the dead people called dead people?

< p>A: Call for help!

13: An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, but it turned into a tea egg; an egg ran to swim in the Songhua River, but it turned into a pine egg; An egg ran to Shandong and turned into a Lu (stewed) egg; an egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; an egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground and turned into a wild egg. missiles; an egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; an egg ran into the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb; an egg got sick and turned into a bad guy; an egg got married and turned into a bad guy. Became a bastard; an egg ran into the river and swam and turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg ran into the flowers and turned into a heroine; an egg rode a horse and held a knife and turned out to be Daomadan; an egg is female, looks very ugly, and turns into a dinosaur egg...

15: Two dung shell beetles discussed the welfare lottery. A said: If I want to win the jackpot, I will put the square egg I bought all the toilets in 50 miles and had enough to eat every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I will take care of a living person and eat fresh food every day!

16: whythechickencrossthestreet answer toanotherside

20: Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play ball and played for a long time. He said: I am so tired, I feel like my whole body is exhausted. I softened...

22: MM got lost looking for college. Met a gentle professor.

MM: Excuse me, how can I get to the university? Professor: Only by studying hard can you go to college.

23: The director and the section chief were riding in the elevator. The director farted and said to the section chief: You farted! The section chief said: I didn't do it... The section chief was dismissed soon after. The director said at the meeting: You can't bear such big things, so what's the use of you?

25: A woman encountered a robber and trembled: "I am from XX school. I have just graduated. I have not found a job. I really have no money..."

After hearing this, the robber She even cried bitterly, "Sister, I am also from XX school. Take your student ID card. The person who robbed you in front of you is still from XX school. Don't worry, Allah will never rob one of your own!"

27: A blind man Beggar begging in the street wearing sunglasses. A drunk man came over and felt sorry for him, so he threw a hundred yuan to him. After walking for a while, the drunk man turned around and saw the blind man facing the sun to tell whether the hundred-yuan bill was genuine or fake.

The drunk man came over and took back the money and said, "You fucking don't want to live anymore, how dare you lie to me!" The blind beggar looked aggrieved and said, "Brother, I'm so sorry. I'm here to check for a friend. He's blind. I went to the toilet, but I am actually mute. ""Oh, that's it," so the drunk man dropped the money and staggered away...

28: Avian Flu - All. It's the fault of "Heaven Shit"!!!

31: When we broke up, she gave me a kiss, and the feeling was as real as the People's Daily...

34 : College Entrance Examination Chemistry Question: A and B can transform into each other, B can produce C in boiling water, C can be oxidized into D in the air, D has the smell of rotten eggs, what are A, B, C, and D?

My answer: A is chicken, B is raw egg, C is cooked egg, and D is rotten egg of course!

40: One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a drive.

The car was almost out of gas, and there happened to be a gas station nearby. As she drove past, a sudden gust of wind blew her boyfriend's hat away. Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her: "I'm going to pick up the hat, you help me come on." As soon as her boyfriend ran away, he heard Xiaomei shouting behind him: "Come on! Come on!"

41: An orangutan passed by the woods and accidentally picked up the feces of a gibbon.

The kind-hearted orangutan cleaned up the ape and separated them. Soon after, they fell in love. Others asked how you got together? < /p>

The orangutan replied: "It's ape dung (fate).!"

44: There is a penguin whose home is very far away from the polar bear's home. If he had to walk, he would have to walk 20 seconds. It won’t arrive until years later. One day, Penguin was very bored at home and was going to play with the polar bear. Then he went out, but when he was halfway down the road, he found that he had forgotten to lock the door. It had been 10 years since he left, but the door was still locked. It had to be locked, so the penguin walked home again to lock the door. After locking the door, the penguin set off again to find the polar bear. It took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's house... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said: "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" After the polar bear opened the door, guess what? What did he say? "Let's go to your house to play~"

47: The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution? Classmate’s answer: Make the lunch box blue.

48: There was a person who had a bad gastrointestinal problem. One day, he came to the gastroenterology hospital to see a doctor and said to the doctor: "I eat whatever I want, and I eat watermelon." Watermelon, cucumber, cucumber!” The doctor thought for a while and said to him: “I think you can only eat shit!”

53: One day, a buck ran faster and faster, and ran to Eventually, it becomes a high-speed buck.

54: One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits. She announced: "Children, after picking the fruits, we will wash them together. After washing, we can eat them together." All the children ran there. Picking fruits. When the closing time came, all the children gathered.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples, because I picked apples."

Teacher : "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I am washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are all great! Then Amin What about you?”

A Ming: “I was washing my cloth shoes because I stepped on poop.”

55: The teacher asked Xiao Ming a question in class, but Xiao Ming stood up and said nothing. throat.

Teacher: Xiao Ming! What's the matter with you? Do you know the answer? At least give it a squeak!

Xiao Ming: Zhi~

57: How to make the drink bigger? Reciting the Great Compassion Mantra

60: Once upon a time there was a bird,

He would pass by a cornfield every day,

But unfortunately,

< p>One day there was a fire in the corn field,

All the corn turned into popcorn!!!

After the bird flew over... < /p>

I thought it was snowing and it was so cold...

61: There was a polar bear, because the snow was so dazzling that you had to wear sunglasses to see.

But he couldn't find the sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling until his hands and feet were dirty before he found the sunglasses.

After putting on my sunglasses and looking in the mirror, I realized: Oh, it turns out I am a panda.

63: Xiao Ming lost a leg in a car accident,

Xiao Ming lost another leg in a car accident,

Xiao Ming lost another leg in a car accident

Xiao Ming lost his other leg in a car accident.

In fact, Xiao Ming is a dog.

65: Three The bunny poops

The first one is long.

The second one is spherical.

The third one is actually triangular.

Asked, it replied: I squeezed it with my hands.

66: When will Taiwan want to be reunified? When buying instant noodles

67: One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid boy?"

Dad said: "Silly boy, how can you be stupid? "Where is the child?"

68: When Xiao Ming came home, the dog next door suddenly ran out and bit him. In anger, he picked up the bamboo and wanted to beat it.

The owner of the dog saw Xiao Ming beating him. His dog said angrily: "It depends on the owner when beating a dog, haven't you heard of it?"

At this time Xiao Ming said: OK! I will spank your dog while watching you.

69: Chongchong: Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?

Xiaohua: No, I’m useless.

Chongchong: Are you really useless?

Xiaohua: I’m so useless!

Chongchong: Alas, you are the 17th person to admit that he is useless

81: Once upon a time, there was a horse! It fell into the sea while running.

So, it turned into a "seahorse"!

Another horse friend of this horse went to find the horse that fell into the sea, but ended up falling into the river. Later, he became a "hippopotamus".

The third horse is a white horse. In order to find two missing friends, it came to the city with chaotic traffic.

It was run over by several cars in succession, causing several black stripes to appear on its body.

As a result, it turned into a "zebra"!

In order to find the companions of the first three, the fourth horse came to a factory one day and was transformed into an "iron horse".

But later, those horses still couldn't escape the fate of being eaten, and they were all turned into "sand horses". The rampage spread, and all the horses were not spared, creating a horseless world...

Then, a group of people couldn't help but say after seeing this joke: "It's so cold."

Finally, in order to commemorate this joke, someone compiled it into a lesson. We called it "Marseille Lesson"!

83: A man met God one day

God suddenly became kind and planned to give the man a wish

God asked: Do you have any wish? < /p>

The man thought for a while and said: I heard that cats have 9 lives, so please give me 9 lives!

God said: Your wish has come true! < /p>

One day, the man was bored and wanted to die. He had 9 lives anyway, so he was lying on the railway track. As a result, a train passed by and the man died. This is Why? Because there are 10 carriages in that train.

85: A hunter went hunting with his hunting dogs. He wandered in the woods for a whole day but found no prey.

It was getting dark, but he was unwilling to keep riding in the woods.

The horse suddenly said: 'You don't even let me rest, you want to exhaust me to death! ? '

The hunter was startled when he heard it. He immediately rolled off his horse, took the hunting dog and ran away. When he ran to a big tree to catch his breath, the dog patted his chest and said to him: 'Scared' It kills me, horses can actually talk! '

So the hunter was frightened to death on the spot

86: Who among the wolf, tiger and lion will be eliminated when playing the game? Wolf

Because: Momotaro (eliminated) Wolf)

87: One day A picked up a mirror and looked in the mirror and said: The people here look familiar

B said: Really? Let me take a look (continue) (through the mirror), me! You don’t even recognize me?

89: Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat.

One day the white cat fell into the water The black cat rescued it, and the white cat said something to the black cat

``Q: What is this sentence? "Meow\"

92: In a Thatched Boat

Lu Su: "Can you really borrow arrows like this? Mr. Kong Ming?"

Zhuge Liang: " Trust me."

Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried..."

Zhuge Liang: "No need."

Lu Su: "But, Don't you think it's getting hotter in the boat?"

Zhuge Liang: "It's a bit awkward to say so...Is there something wrong?"

Lu Su: "Yes. I'm worried that the enemy is shooting rockets..."

Zhuge Liang: "Hey! Zijing￣￣Can you swim￣￣￣I can't￣￣￣"

93: Before a monkey eats peanuts, he has to stuff them into his butt and then take them out to eat.

The administrator explained this: Someone once fed it peaches,

As a result, the peach core could not be pulled out, and the monkey was frightened. Now it must be measured before eating.

94: The hospital has set up 100 channels to prevent patients from escaping, but two mentally ill patients still want to escape from the hospital. Yu Yehei worked hard

to climb over the wall. At the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?", "No." So the two of them continued to turn outwards.

At the 60th wall, "Are you tired?" "No." So the two continued to turn outwards,

At the 99th wall, "Are you tired?" Are you tired?” “Tired” “Okay, let’s turn back”

96: Xiaoluo: Dad, why do we have humps?

Camel Dad: Because there is no water in the desert, only humps can store water!

Xiao Luo: Dad, why do we have long hair?

Camel Dad: Because the wind and sand are strong in the desert, we must rely on it to block the wind and sand so that we can see!

Little Luo: Dad, why do we have thick hooves?

Camel Dad: Because the desert is full of sand, so we can stand firm!

Xiao Luo: Dad, last question, what are we doing at the zoo?

97: The hen was hatching an egg, and an egg came out of its butt

Hen: "What are you doing?"

Egg: " Your farts smell so bad..."

98: There is a person named "Du Ziteng"

The teacher asked, "Where is Du Ziteng?" The classmate said, "He has a stomachache."< /p>