A 3-minute joke (a cramp 3-minute joke)

First, you can't wake up a person who doesn't return your message, but a red envelope can.

A girl got on the high-speed train and saw a man sitting in her seat. She looked at her ticket and said very politely, "Sir, are you in the wrong seat?" The man took out his ticket and shouted angrily, "Look clearly, this is my seat. Are you blind? " The girl looked at his ticket carefully and stood beside the seat silently, making no noise. A few minutes later, the train started. The girl lowered her head and gently said to the man, "Sir, you didn't take the wrong seat, just took the wrong train!" " "What do you think of the girl's handling of this matter?

Third, when I was a child, I was beaten and wronged. I feel that I am definitely not my own, and I have been planning to run away from home. Now that I have children, I suddenly realize that my parents didn't kill me, but they really love me!

Fourth, "honey, I have a courier downstairs, help me take it!" " "Don't go! I am playing a game! " "Hurry up, people are waiting downstairs!" "Don't go! Unless you give me 100! " "I'll give you 200 yuan. Hurry down. " Husband took the money and rushed down! Then I calmly called the courier and said, "If someone goes down, ask him for 300 yuan!" "

5. After working hard for three years, I returned to my hometown with nothing. I thought my mother would be furious. I didn't expect my mother not only didn't scold me, but also comforted me: Son, you don't have nothing, at least you have the face to come back.

6. Besides the rich, there are two kinds of people in the world: one is to scrimp and save on luxury goods to show off wealth, and the other is to scrimp and save on luxury goods. What kind do you belong to?

Seven, nothing is difficult in the world, nothing is impossible to a willing mind; Birds of a feather flock together.

The Monkey King and Niu Wangmo's wife, Princess Tiefan, are chatting: "Why do you always wear pants and never wear skirts?" She blushed: "Because my legs are ugly, Niu Wangmo doesn't like my legs." "Oh, well, why don't you wear a hood?

Nine, although the school is very poor, it has never been stingy with printing papers, which makes me deeply moved.

Ten, life is like a dream, I have insomnia; Life is like a play, I wear help; Life is like a song, I am out of tune; On the battlefield of life, I left.

Do you like small animals? "Me: Of course." How much do you like it? "Me: I don't know, every meal!

12. Be sure to remember those who chat with you late into the night. It is because of them that you stay up late, resulting in heavy dark circles and poor skin.

Thirteen, sleeping soundly in the morning, a strange number called. "Are you at home?" "Wait for me at home, I'll be right there." Hearing this, my husband slapped me in the face: "Don't touch me to see who it is." My husband is standing behind the door with a stool. The door opened and he slammed it! For a long time, the courier was still sitting on the ground screaming.

14. Failure is the mother of success. No one will fail forever, just feel a little more maternal love.

Fifteen, if today's girl walks in the ancient street and is dragged back to the bedroom by the emperor at night to wash her face, will she be convicted of cheating on you and so on?

Sixteen, my friend cried to me that she was often lovelorn because she was too poor. I immediately despaired of this society: poor, why can he have a girlfriend?

Seventeen, every dormitory has a molar, a sleepwalker, a snorer, and a sleeper watching the audience.

18. He Jiong accidentally spilled water on a stewardess when handing water to He Jiong. He Jiong said nothing, and then took a dress to the bathroom to change. As a result, the stewardess spilled water on He Jiong's clothes for the second time. He Jiong still said it doesn't matter, and went to the bathroom to change clothes. Later, the flight attendant apologized with guilt. He Jiong smiled and said, "Oh, you are really. If you want to see my fashion show, just say so. Don't do this next time. " Ha ha ha ha, I have to say that He Laoshi's language art is really amazing.

19. I met my ex in the restaurant and looked at her for a long time. She asked faintly, "Is it over?" I smoked a cigarette: "Yes, the children are over one year old." "What came, I his mama ask you to settle accounts?

20. Why did my mobile phone turn on flight mode and fall from the upstairs or break it?

Twenty-one, there are many people in love at school. One day, the director of the Political and Educational Affairs Office came to our classroom: Am I ugly? The whole class was silent, and then he shouted, I'm ugly enough to find a wife. What's your hurry?

I finally found someone, but his family doesn't seem to like me very much, especially his wife.

Twenty-three, my ex-boyfriend is getting married. He called and asked me if I could go. I decisively replied to him: next time.

Years have taught me that I don't have to wait for anyone except express delivery.

25. Before she died, the old lady took her wife's hand and repented: "Grandpa, let me tell you the truth. None of our three sons is yours. " The old man comforted his wife and said, "Nothing. Although my three sons are not mine, my three grandchildren are definitely mine. "

Twenty-six, after so many years of marriage, the only thing my wife did in the kitchen was to sprinkle salt on my wound.

Twenty-seven, modern women's three obedience and four virtues: three obedience, never tenderness, never thoughtfulness, never reason; Fourth, say no, fight no, scold no, and provoke no.