Tell jokes to your girlfriend.

A buddy spent 150 yuan cutting a very abstract hairstyle, and another buddy said that this hairstyle is very cost-effective. 150 yuan can get a haircut from 250 yuan.

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?

Xiaohua: No, I'm useless.

Bug: Are you really useless?

Xiaohua: I'm so useless!

Bug: Alas, you are the17th person to admit that you are useless.

On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down.

A man went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor said: You should have a blood test, a urine test and a stool test.

After a while, he came back and told the doctor that I had swallowed blood and urine, but I really couldn't swallow stool.

Zhuge Liang is a master of eight stunts, one of which is ventriloquism. On this day, Zhuge Liang was discussing with Liu Bei in his account, and Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart.

I am afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. Sorry, he had an idea and said, "Master, I'll call you like a woodpecker. How about adjusting the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded.

Zhuge Liang barked twice in imitation of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't hear it. "

Hee hee and haha are good friends, very good friends.

One day, haha died. Hee hee is very sad. He went to Haha's grave and said, "Haha, you are dead."

On Monday, I got on the bus with nothing but 1 yuan. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "An adult goes out without anything, and it's no shame to lose it." - "

On Tuesday, I took a broken wallet with 1 cent in it. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession. - "

On Wednesday, I still broke my wallet, which contained counterfeit money of 100. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in my wallet: "It is illegal to keep a large face value and forge a copy. Please consciously hand it over to the relevant departments. - "

On Thursday, I brought an envelope with a stack of overdue straits talent newspapers. When I arrived at the terminal, I found the envelope was still there. I took out the newspaper and read it. The newspaper was replaced by the latest straits talent newspaper. 1 Remarks: "Now is the consulting era. Only by updating information in time can we seize the opportunity and win success! - "

On Friday, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket. After arriving at the terminal, the mobile phone was still there, and there was an extra note: "Please don't make such jokes, which will affect the normal work of our company. - "

On Saturday, I took a toy pistol and stuck it in my waist. When I arrived at the terminal, I found that the gun was gone, and a note was stuffed in my waistband: "What you robbers hate most is that you have no technical content at all! Confiscate the tools of crime! - "

On Sunday, I was about to get on the bus, and there were too many people to squeeze in. When waiting for the next bus, I felt in my pocket and found that there was an extra 20 yuan and a note: "Brother, our business is not easy this day. This is 20 yuan. You can take a taxi to where you want to go. Please don't mess with us again. "

One dark and windy night, on the longest and scariest road, a taxi driver drove by and a woman waved to get on the bus by the roadside. It was quiet all the way until the woman spoke. She said to the driver, "Apples are delicious for you …" The driver thought it was great, so he took it and took a bite. The woman asked, "Is it delicious?" The driver said, "Delicious!" The woman replied, "I remember I liked apples before my death ..." Wow ...&; * $ # @ ... When the driver heard this, he was scared into an ambulance, and his face turned white ... Only the woman slowly tilted her head to the front and said to the driver, "But I don't like eating after giving birth! ……"